Tips for Keeping the Holidays Merry

(This week we have a guest author. The comments below were penned by a wonderful member of our Baby Signs staff, Bonita Broughton, as an article for one of our newsletters. Great advice worth sharing.)

A normal part of holiday activities for families includes visiting with friends and family. Many of these visitors are ones seldom seen by us throughout the year. Adults are often thrilled to see these faces and take joy in the experience. Children, however, can respond in a very different manner. For children, this experience can cause stress. They find themselves in unfamiliar places with unfamiliar faces and unfamiliar expectations. Helping your child prepare for holiday gatherings can help ward off some of the frustration that can arise for both parent and child.

Ideas for making gatherings successful:

Photo Time: Take some time prior to the gathering to look through old photos of the people you will be seeing. Try to find pictures which include the child as well. If your child uses signs for specific family members, use the signs to help make the connection between the person and the photo.

The Hand-off: Enthusiastic family members will be excited to see your little one and may immediately reach to take your child. Some children are fine with this and just need you to stay close until they are passed back. Other children will not have such a favorable response. Be prepared to take the lead by saying something like, "He takes a while to warm up, but he really likes for you to give a high-five." If your little one is signing, then you can encourage him with simple signs like GOOD JOB or I LOVE YOU. Don't forget to remind your child of the pictures you looked at and use the sign if appropriate.

It is moving time: One concern can be decorations placed down low. Even for the most well-behaved child, twinkling lights and shiny objects can be a strong temptation! Gently ask the host if you can move the item to a higher location. This can prevent you, your child, and the host a lot of unneeded stress. If it is not something that can be moved, use signs LIKE GENTLE, WAIT, STOP, and THANK YOU to help guide the child's behavior.

It’s in the Bag: With all the hustle and bustle of the season parents often forget to bring items to keep the little one busy. Simple toys, puzzles, and books can give the child a familiar item for comfort and provide some much needed distraction. Bringing a book with easy to sign words can also offer the child a chance to share her signing success with family members and help to get new family members onboard with your signing efforts.

Keep these tips from Bonita in mind as you look enjoy your holiday celebrations and the chance of adding happy memories to your scrapbook will definitely increase.

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
and
Co-Founder, The Baby Signs® Program

Baby Sign Language in Action!

One of my favorite topics for this blog is describing how creative babies are in their use of signs. While it’s true that they use them effectively for routine needs, like more food or drink or being “all done,” these are only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the ways that babies communicate with signs. Here are some stories that illustrate my point.

• Baby Aubrey’s mom wrote to us about how Aubrey used the signs for COLD and OUTSIDE when her mother opened the door to let the dog out and used them again—along with an emphatic shake of the head for NO—when her mom started to put Aubrey’s coat on to leave the house.

• Here’s another story where a dog played a prominent role. Henry’s mom told us how Henry came to her and signed DOG plus DRINK—and sure enough, the dog’s water bowl was empty.

• I particularly like the creativity shown in the following story. The signs for FLY (actually, BUG) and WATER came in handy for a 16-month-old when she wanted to play with a common utensil—the “fly-swatter!”

• And then there’s little Julia who, upon seeing a mom wearing a front pack with her baby’s arms and legs hanging out and head peeping out the top, got a quizzical look on her face and signed TURTLE!

Over the years I’ve learned that many people don’t “get it” about baby sign language until they hear stories like this. What a wonderful way to show people unfamiliar with babies that there truly is “somebody home in there!”

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
and
Co-Founder, The Baby Signs® Program

How Would You Feel If….

Over the years, I’ve learned that challenging a parent’s reaction to his or her child’s behavior is a delicate matter. One strategy that has worked for me is what I call the “How would you feel if…” technique. Essentially, the idea is to describe a situation analogous to the child’s but where the parent is in the spotlight. Here’s an example from my book about emotional development (with Dr. Susan Goodwyn), Baby Hearts, dealing with a parent’s angry and humiliating reaction to his son’s fear of a dog.

Max, the neighbor’s overly friendly Labrador retriever, lopes toward 2-year-old Timmy who quickly takes shelter behind his dad’s leg and begins to cry. His dad, Jim, following in the footsteps of generations of dads with sons, says, “Don’t be such a scaredy-cat. He’s not going to hurt you!” Do those words help? No. In fact, research shows that sympathizing with a child’s fears is an important ingredient in the recipe for creating empathy. Perhaps the next scenario might make that dad react differently.

New York City born and bred, Jim decides to take Timmy and the rest of his family to Idaho for an exciting week on a “Dude Ranch.” While his family is still eating breakfast, Jim wanders out to the corral. As he approaches the gate, it suddenly swings open and a large horse comes bounding out of the gate toward him. Jim jumps back quickly, slips, and finds himself in the dirt looking up as the horse races by, leaving him in a cloud of dust. As Jim lies in the dirt, shocked and shaken, the resident cowboy comes sauntering out and drawls, “Hey, city boy, don’t be such a scaredy -cat. He ain’t gonna hurt you!” Jim pulls himself up and stumbles back to the house--humiliated, angry, and feeling he had every right to be frightened given the horse was so large and unknown to him.

We can only hope that parents like Jim make the connection!

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
and
Co-Founder, The Baby Signs® Program

Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
and
Co-Founder, The Baby Signs® Program

A Sign of Thanks for Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving, my favorite holiday, is just a few days away. I love it because it’s an opportunity to gather with family, eat great food, and say “Thanks” for the many blessings we enjoy—including one another. Here’s a great story about how the ability of a baby to sign made Thanksgiving dinner extra sweet for one family. It comes from a former student of mine, Stella, at UC Davis.

Stella and her parents traveled to Chicago to share Thanksgiving with her sister, brother-in-law, and 3 kids—including 15-month-old Kayla, a graduate of our Baby Signs classes. Once everyone was seated at the table, Stella’s dad said a short grace and stood up to carve the turkey. Suddenly Kayla squealed and began to excitedly sign “apple.” Despite being offered some applesauce, Kayla kept repeating the sign even more determinedly. Finally, seemingly out of frustration, Kayla added a second sign—“Thank you” to her “apple” sign. It was then that her mom figured it out. At dinner time at Kayla’s house, instead of saying grace at the table, the tradition was to hold hands and sing the “Johnny Appleseed” song—the one where you “thank the Lord” for “the sun and the rain and the apple seed.” Kayla clearly felt that her grandfather’s grace wasn’t good enough! Once everyone held hands and sang the song with real gusto, Kayla was satisfied and settled down to eat—no doubt saying a silent “thanks” that she’d finally gotten her message across!

Helping children learn to be truly thankful for the blessings in their lives is a challenge that every parent faces. Teaching the sign for “thank you” (fingertips moving in an arching motion outward from the chin) is a great way to get it started at a remarkably early age. And what better time to start than Thanksgiving!

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
and
Co-Founder, The Baby Signs Program

It’s Not Just for Babies Anymore

Although the federally-funded research Dr. Susan Goodwyn and I conducted was focused on documenting the benefits of signing with hearing infants and toddlers, it’s increasingly clear that signing also has benefits for older children. We hear this especially from teachers who have introduced signing into their preschool and early elementary school classrooms. Here are some of the benefits cited most frequently.

• Gives language delayed kids a way to communicate. As Speech/Language Pathologists can attest, a significant proportion of children lag behind their peers in their ability to verbalize their thoughts. For these children, having signs available to communicate can help relieve tremendous amounts of frustration and anger.

• Provides another modality to give instructions—esp. helpful in stressful situations. Even children who, under normal conditions, understand what is said to them, can become immune to verbal instructions when tension levels are high. It’s almost like their accelerated heart rates plug up their ears with competing sounds! In such situations, a highly visible sign made by the adult can work wonders by both grabbing their attention and reinforcing the verbal message (like “Stop!” “Wait!” “Gentle!” or “Sit Down!”).

• Gives children an alternative physical action. Even preschoolers, when frustrated, often act out in anger—pushing or shoving their peers. Providing them with the physical action required to produce a sign (like “Stop!” or “No!”) helps release this tension while at the same time sending a clear message to the offending chum.

• Allows teachers and children to communicate quietly & from a distance. Sometimes words are either not appropriate or not effective. A child who, during nap time, can signal “Potty” to the teacher, or the teacher who can signal “Sit down” or “Listen” to a restless child in a group, can get his/her message across quite easily.

• Enables communication with and by special needs children. As more and more special needs children are being mainstreamed in classrooms and activities, how wonderful to have a way for the two groups of kids to be able to communicate!

• Promotes appreciation of the Deaf Community. Learning simple signs is a great way to acquaint young children with the challenges faced by individuals who can’t hear as well as the richness of the wonderful solution they’ve devised to deal with that challenge—sign language..

• Older kids think it’s fun! Kids of all ages are intrigued by sign language and love the idea of an alternative to words. Signs are like a “secret codes, something that kids have always found fascinating.

So, although we will continue to call our program “The BABY Signs® Program,” there’s no doubt that it’s not just for little ones anymore!

Visit www.babysigns.com for more information about Baby Signs® resources to help you and your baby enjoy all the benefits that signing can bring.

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to visit us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
and
Co-Founder, The Baby Signs® Program

How Little Hands Can Help

Back in August, as a break from writing about baby sign language, I wrote about the idea of “chores” for young children. The point I made there was that it’s the smart parent who takes advantage of the toddler’s natural desire to “help” by letting him or her do so and then consciously rewarding even feeble efforts in that direction. The goal is to get young children in the habit of cooperating.

There are lots of advantages to having young children help out besides the (sometimes marginal) benefit of not having to do all the work yourself. Having children contribute to the work of a household teaches them a wide variety of valuable lessons:

• Keeps them from feeling entitled to be waited on.
• Makes them aware of how much work it is to keep a household functioning, thereby making them more appreciative of the contributions of others.
• Makes them feel part of the family “team.”
• Teaches specific skills (e.g., carrying dishes carefully, sorting clothes, etc.)
• Strengthens self-esteem by eliciting praise from parents.

But, you may be thinking, can really little ones actually do? Here are some ideas:
• Use a hand vacuum or small broom to clean up crumbs (see photo!)
• Add water and food to pet bowls
• Water plants outside (with a watering can or spray bottle)
• Help you move wet clothes from the washer to the dryer
• Put newspapers in the recycle container
• Transfer groceries from bags to a shelf or table.
• Put placemats on the table and napkins at each place (and maybe silverward)
• Carry dishes (a few at a time) to the kitchen
• Pull blankets up neatly on their beds and tuck pajamas away
• Exercise the dog by playing fetch with ball, stick, or frisbee

And of course, the old favorite, put their toys away at bedtime!

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to visit us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
and
Co-Founder, The Baby Signs® Program

Troublesome “Tips”

A parent forwarded to me postings from a blog about signing with babies (www.babysignlanguagenow.com) that has been popping up frequently in Google “Alerts.” I’m usually delighted to see increased dissemination of information about the topic; the more parents we can reach the better! In this case, however, the specific advice offered is in so many instances contrary to our own observations here at Baby Signs about what works—as well as contrary to good developmental practice—that I felt it would be important to point out our concerns by highlighting the post entitled “When Baby Signs Back: Factors that Affect.”

Question posed: Why are there individual differences in how long it takes for a baby to start signing back? (“…how long [before] their baby [will] sign back.”)

(1). “Those babies who have better IQ are more likely to learn different signs earlier in life. So, the general rule is the stronger the mental capabilities of your baby are, the earlier he will sign back to you.”

CONCERN: There is no data that supports such an assertion. Nor could there be given all the factors totally unrelated to mental ability that we know contribute: (a) Individual differences in the priority babies have for communicating are really important. For example, some babies would rather climb the bookshelves than read the books. (b) Age: The younger the baby is when you start modeling signs, the longer it will take. (c) How much signing the child sees.

(2). “The earlier you start teaching sign language, the earlier you get results. The recommended age to start teaching baby sign language is 4 months.”

CONCERN: If the question is, as the beginning of the post states, how long before a baby begins signing back, the answer is the younger the baby, the longer it will take. There’s certainly nothing wrong with starting early. However, the chance that a parent will get discouraged and quit is greater. That’s why we suggest between 9 and 12 months.

(3) “The more dedication you show, the more organized your teaching is, the more chances that your baby will learn baby sign language earlier in life.

CONCERN: Although this sounds like our point about the amount of signing a baby sees, the bit about organized teaching implies the importance of specific lesson times. In fact, in another posting, the author calls for “teaching sessions” where you try to “eliminate all the distractions around you” including “random noises and other persons” and rewarding the baby “with food and toys whenever he takes a successful step in the process of learning baby sign language.” In sharp contrast, our 30 years of observation and research indicate that simply incorporating signs into everyday routines and activities with your baby is the best way to go. Regimented lesson times in isolation from others, in fact, can be off-putting and counter-productive—and an excited reaction by Mom or Dad is usually reward enough! You’re not teaching a dog to roll over.

(4) “Whether it is a matter of lack of nutrition or encouragement, anything that hampers the mental development of your baby will also slow down the learning process.”

CONCERN: Of course, anything truly injurious to a child’s physical or psychological welfare will affect the child’s developmental timeline in a wide variety of domains. However, most parents who consult a blog like this already know that nutrition and encouragement are important. And the downside to the statement is the focus, once again, on “mental capabilities.”

This list covers just one of the postings. The others have problems, too--like the advice to “use flash cards to show the babies the proper ways to sign” as if babies could learn from a static image better than a real life demonstration!

After three full decades observing and conducting research on the topic of signing with babies, I feel so passionate about it that I think it’s important to set the record straight when parents are being led astray. The last thing we need is for the movement to get a bad reputation from an influx of really bad advice.

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to visit us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
and
Co-Founder, The Baby Signs® Program