Helping Children Cope with Disaster

HELPING CHILDREN COPE WITH DISASTER

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.

It seems whenever one turns on the TV these days there’s news of another disaster, whether hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes, floods, forest fires—or foreclosures and unemployment. Given how sensitive children are to the emotional atmosphere at their home, it’s very important for parents to be aware of the impact these traumatic occurrences can have on their little ones and to understand what they can do to mitigate the emotional consequences.

One of the blessings of the Internet age is that help for many problems is at one’s fingertips, and that includes advice on how to help children deal with disasters.  In culling through a number of the sources, many of the tips rang true based on our own knowledge of development.  We’ve listed these below and then, at the end, included addresses for a few specific websites that might be useful. 

How anxiety manifests itself: 

• Increased separation anxiety
• Reluctance to go to sleep
• Nightmares
• Reluctance to go to school/babysitter
• Regression to less mature behavior
• Acting out (e.g., sibling spats; tantrums)
• Physical symptoms (e.g., tummy aches, head aches, etc)
• Inability to concentrate
• Withdrawn behavior and sad countenance

Helping children coping with disasters

• Children detect parental anxiety, so admit your concerns while stressing your confidence in being able to cope with the problem.
•  Emphasize the sources of support the family has received during the disaster, is currently receiving, and can count on down the line (e.g., extended family, friends, community resources, etc.). The goal is to help the child feel taken care of. 
• Encourage your child to talk about the situation and his/her feelings
• Treat expressed fears with respect rather trying to reduce them by being dismissive.
• Reassure them over and over that they are safe.
• Provide information about any ways you will try to avoid such traumas in the future if possible.
• Congratulate them on any behaviors that were helpful during the crisis or helpful in its aftermath.
• Understand that it’s natural for children to focus on how the disaster affected THEM (e.g., lost toys) rather than understanding the magnitude of the problems the adults face. 
• Answer questions honestly, including admitting “I don’t know.”  In age-appropriate detail, describe the steps being taken to deal with any losses.
• Re-establish routines as soon as possible, even if they have to vary from those in place before the disaster.  Children are comforted by being able to predict events.
• TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. Children can detect parental distress, so finding ways to make yourself feel better will pay off in dealing with your children—including helping you be patient with them.
• Find some fun things to do—movies, play-dates, trips to the park.  Such occasions will not only distract your child from his/her anxiety and fear, but also provide evidence that life goes on and can still be joyful.
• Avoid exposure to newscasts or printed materials that show frightening images.
• Keep promises.
• Find ways to help others who have experienced losses.  Helping others reinforces the idea that people help each other, thereby increasing a child’s sense of security. 

For more information, check out these websites.

• American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry: https://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/FFF-Guide/Helping-Children-After-A-Disaster-036.aspx

• FEMA: https://www.ready.gov/kids/parents/coping

• Mental Health America: http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/children-cope-with-tragedy

Happy signing (and don't forget to follow us on Facebook)! 

Linda
Linda Acredolo, Ph.D. 
Co-founder, the Baby Signs® Program 
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

How Would You Feel If….

Over the years, I’ve learned that challenging a parent’s reaction to his or her child’s behavior is a delicate matter. One strategy that has worked for me is what I call the “How would you feel if…” technique. Essentially, the idea is to describe a situation analogous to the child’s but where the parent is in the spotlight. Here’s an example from my book about emotional development (with Dr. Susan Goodwyn), Baby Hearts, dealing with a parent’s angry and humiliating reaction to his son’s fear of a dog.

Max, the neighbor’s overly friendly Labrador retriever, lopes toward 2-year-old Timmy who quickly takes shelter behind his dad’s leg and begins to cry. His dad, Jim, following in the footsteps of generations of dads with sons, says, “Don’t be such a scaredy-cat. He’s not going to hurt you!” Do those words help? No. In fact, research shows that sympathizing with a child’s fears is an important ingredient in the recipe for creating empathy. Perhaps the next scenario might make that dad react differently.

New York City born and bred, Jim decides to take Timmy and the rest of his family to Idaho for an exciting week on a “Dude Ranch.” While his family is still eating breakfast, Jim wanders out to the corral. As he approaches the gate, it suddenly swings open and a large horse comes bounding out of the gate toward him. Jim jumps back quickly, slips, and finds himself in the dirt looking up as the horse races by, leaving him in a cloud of dust. As Jim lies in the dirt, shocked and shaken, the resident cowboy comes sauntering out and drawls, “Hey, city boy, don’t be such a scaredy -cat. He ain’t gonna hurt you!” Jim pulls himself up and stumbles back to the house--humiliated, angry, and feeling he had every right to be frightened given the horse was so large and unknown to him.

We can only hope that parents like Jim make the connection!

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
and
Co-Founder, The Baby Signs® Program

Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
and
Co-Founder, The Baby Signs® Program