Beware: Conformity Starts Early!

We all know how vulnerable teenagers are to peer pressure, but did you know that preschoolers are too? I don’t mean here the tendency for 3- and 4-year-olds to begin mimicking their playmates during play—one child imitating another child who has started to twirl around or act like a monkey. That’s just fun and has no important implications. The conformity at issue here is more insidious and has to do with agreeing publicly with an opinion expressed by others when the truth is that one’s own opinion is very different. In other words, hiding one’s own beliefs because they clash with one’s peers’ beliefs.

It turns out that 4-year-olds are vulnerable to this kind of peer pressure. How did the researchers discover this truth? In a very clever way. They sat groups of 4 children in cubbies arranged so that they couldn’t see each other but could hear each other answer questions posed by the “teacher.” The questions referred to specially designed picture books the children were given. The left page of each 2-page spread in the book showed three drawings of an animal (say a tiger) that were identical except for size. One was big (the “daddy” tiger), one was middle-sized (the “mommy” tiger) and one was small (the “baby” tiger). The right page of each spread showed one of these three versions and the child’s task was to tell the teacher which one it was, the daddy, mommy, or baby. The trick here was the fact that three of the children held copies of the same book while one child (who was always asked last) had a different book designed so the correct answer would clash with what the other children said. What they found was that the children—not always, but about a third of the time—would agree with what the other three kids had said even though they knew that answer to be wrong for their book.

Reading the results of this study brought back a real life example involving my son when he was about 3 ½ and had just started nursery school (see photo above). Up until that point his playmates of convenience happened to always be girls, a fact which bothered him not at all. Then, one day a month or into the school year, I noticed that he had colored every picture in a coloring book save one: a single girl swinging on a swing. “Kai, why didn’t you color this one?” His answer: “Because boys don’t play with girls.” When I next observed the classroom, I saw that this was in fact true at school—the girls played with girls and the boys with boys. Interestingly, however, when he was at home and not where his male peers could see (and no doubt judge him), Kai continued to play very happily with the same girls he always had.

Why is this significant? It’s bad enough when it’s a gender issue, but substitute not playing with children of contrasting ethnicities and you can see how easily and at what young ages prejudices get started.

So, fellow parents, what I’m hoping is that “forewarned is forearmed” as the saying goes. In other words, knowing that even preschoolers are vulnerable to peer pressure can motivate you to begin even earlier to help your child understand the importance of thinking for oneself.

Happy signing (and don't forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda
Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

When Washing a Car is More than Just Getting it Clean

Suggest to a teenager that he or she should wash Mom’s car and you can just imagine the reply, with pursed lips, eye-rolling, and heavy-hearted harrumphing. Suggest the same to a toddler—as I did the other day while babysitting my twin grandchildren—and the result is excited compliance. The contrast is enough to make one wonder why something that is so clearly unwanted work at one age is such a delight at another. The former is too complex for a simple blog entry, so let’s focus on the latter.

The reason lies in the fact that (a) the human ability to imitate is deeply ingrained and (b) meeting challenges at any age brings a sense of well-being. Let’s address them in order. Even 1-day-old human babies are capable of imitating simple facial gestures they see Mom or Dad make—like sticking out one’s tongue or pursing one’s lips. This ability is astonishing given that babies this young have never even seen their own tongues or lips! How do they do it? Neuroscientists have discovered over the last decade that we are all born with a type of cell in the brain called a “mirror neuron,” a cell whose job it is to both register what we see others do and then mirror those actions. Voila! Imitation!

And what a handy tool imitation is. From the very earliest years, children learn tons and tons of important skills by engaging the ability to imitate---including how to feed themselves, use signs to communicate, learn words, sing songs, put on their own clothes, throw balls—and on and on and on.

What about “b,” the satisfaction of a job well-done. Again, this is something humans are born with. Even very young babies work hard to reach goals—whether it’s successfully getting spoon to mouth, communicating with signs or words, singing songs, getting dressed, or throwing a ball. In other words, the ability to imitate and the desire to meet a challenge work in tandem to help each of us develop the skills we need to survive in complex human culture.

This brings us back to why washing Mom’s car was so exciting to my twin toddler grandchildren, Nate and Olivia. Quite simply, they were reveling in the opportunity to imitate something they’d seen grown-ups do and in the fact that doing so provided them with a sense of being a bit more grown up themselves. They had a “job” to do and doing it was satisfying!

Now, if only we could get our teenagers to feel the same way…..

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to visit us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
and
Co-Founder, The Baby Signs® Program