Shame and Guilt: Siblings but Definitely not Twins!

I'm taking a detour from talking about baby sign language to share information from the book I co-authored with Dr. Susan Goodwyn, Baby Hearts.

If you’re like me, you’ve often bandied about the terms “shame” and “guilt” as though they were synonymous—two words for the same internal, not-very-pleasant feeling that occurs when we’ve done something of which others disapprove. However, researchers looking at the development of emotions in children feel it’s very important to distinguish between them shame and guilt, for parents to understand the differences, and for parent to steer clear of instilling shame whenever possible.

So, what are the differences? There are two that stand out:

First and most central, there’s a difference between shame and guilt in where the person feels the error or “deficiency” lies. In the case of shame, the entire “self” is perceived as bad. In the case of guilt, the specific action, rather than the “self” is perceived as bad. For example, a child who feels shame over having broken a precious knickknack might say to herself, “I’m a bad bad girl,” while a child feeling guilty might say instead “Oh dear, I should have been more careful!”
A second important difference is in the actions which tend to follow once the misdeed is discovered. In the case of shame, because the internal feeling of being bad is so distressing, the person’s inclination is to flee the scene—to escape—or even more problematic, to blame the victim. Our little girl, for example, might say to herself, or even aloud, “It’s Grandma’s fault for leaving it there!” In contrast, a person who feels guilty, rather than trying to flee, is motivated to try to make amends, to right whatever wrong was done, and to prove it was a one-time-only lapse in judgment. In this case, our little girl might say, “I’m so sorry, Grandma! Maybe I can make you something pretty to take its place.”

Why does it matter whether a child tends to feel shame or to feel guilt? Because research shows that feelings of shame are more likely to result in hostility, depression, and a lack of empathy for others.

Given that all kids misbehave at one time or another, how can you avoid instilling a sense of shame? Quite simply, watch what you say! Instead of saying things like “You’re a bad girl” or “I’m disappointed in you,” emphasize the consequences of the misdeed, why you disapprove of the child’s behavior, and what can be done to make amends. Remember, children who are told often that they are “bad” gradually find themselves living up to your expectations in what psychologists call a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Just some important information to help you make sure your child is on the path to healthy emotional development.

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

The Baby Signs® Program & Learning to Talk

By far the most frequently voiced concern about encouraging babies to use signs to communicate before they can talk is that doing so will slow down verbal development. In fact, the exact opposite is true. Baby sign language actually speeds up the process.

How do we know? With a grant from the federal government, Dr. Susan Goodwyn and I compared verbal development in babies using the Baby Signs® Program with that of non-signing babies. In test after test the babies who signed were more advanced than the non-signers in language skills. (The published study is available on our Baby Signs web site.) We really weren’t surprised because we had already observed the following ways in which baby signing spurs language skills.

• Signing is to talking as crawling is to walking. In other words, just as crawling excites babies about getting around even faster by walking, the excitement of being able to communicate with signs motivates babies to figure out ways to communicate better—and the most obvious way is with words.

• Signing provides practice. The experience of signing teaches babies useful lessons about how language works (like using symbols to label objects, etc.). These lessons speed up the process of learning to talk once words are finally available.

• Signing pulls language from adults. The natural reaction to a baby’s use of a sign is to flood the child with words, and the more words a child hears, the faster he or she will learn to talk. What’s more, signs enable babies to pick the topic of conversation, thereby increasing the likelihood that they will listen attentively to the words parents say.

• Signing changes the brain. Every time a baby successfully uses a sign to label something, circuits in the brain are strengthened; circuits that then make learning words easier.

• Signing makes book-reading more fun. Babies who sign can actively participate in book-reading by labeling pictures they see well before they would be able to do so with words. Because taking a active role is more exciting they sitting passively on the sidelines, thereby making the experience more fun. How does that help language? Books expose children to lots of new vocabulary words and stimulate conversations.

So, the next time someone suggests that your use of the Baby Signs® Program is going to keep your child from talking, just smile knowingly, roll your eyes, and say “Oh, that old wives’ tale!”

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

What Exactly Does “Ba” Mean?!

I recently ran into an old friend who was out shopping with her 20-month-old granddaughter. I was delighted to hear that little Laney had taken our Baby Signs® Sign, Say & Play® class and been a great signer since age 10 months, and equally delighted to hear that words had started to appear in her repertoire as well. According to Grandma, however, most of these words sound pretty much the same, and although Mom and Dad can often figure them out based on context, it's a real challenge for Grandma. For example, she told me, Laney currently says something like “ba” for “baby,” “ball,” and “bottle.” What helps enormously, Grandma, said with a smile, is that Laney almost always combines the sign for what she's talking about with the word, thereby clarifying her message! So the sign for BABY accompanies "ba" in some cases, while the sign for BALL does so in others, etc.

Aha! A great example of how signing still has a role to play even when words begin! Instead of looking at their babies in frustration and listing all the possibilities, adults can correctly interpret these early words ( “Oh, baby! You see the baby!” ). Using signs in this way to clarify what they are trying to say is an advantage of baby sign language that is often overlooked—until a parent or grandparent very gratefully sees it in action. It turns out to be important because receiving positive attention for trying to talk is an important incentive that motivates children to keep working hard to add new words.

Just think how discouraging it is to be struggling to be understood in a foreign country when you can’t say the words quite right. It’s enough to make you want to retreat in silence to your hotel room! Having signs to help them clarify their messages keeps babies from feeling this way so that instead of retreating into silence, they become more and more excited about learning to talk.

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

Signs: A Window into the Infant Mind for Researchers Too

I spent last Tuesday with my twin, almost 4-year-old grandchildren—Nate and Olivia—because they were home sick from preschool. Both of them were great signers, so I decided to see if they remembered any of their signs. I mentioned that they used to use a sign for “more,” and Nathan quickly tapped his fists together, clearly remembering something from easily 18 months earlier. Then Olivia did the sign for “all done” and Nate asked me to remind him what the sign was for “drink.” Soon we were all into it with them remembering lots of signs—like book, bird, dog, and moon—and even a specific experience when they had used the bird sign to talk about a hawk out back. My conversation with them reminded me of one of my favorite signing stories where a 2-year-old little girl, who had switched from sign to words a whole year earlier, suddenly began to teach her doll the sign for “more!”

The doll story and my conversation with Nate and Olivia reminds me of one of the less obvious gifts signing with babies has given us. For a very long time, researchers (as well as parents) assumed that babies’ memory abilities were severely limited. And who was to tell us differently? After all, without words to share their thoughts, babies seem almost oblivious to the past and future. But now, with signs at their disposal, babies are sharing what they see, hear, feel, and even what they remember with both parents and researchers! Finally we’re getting proof that babies are a lot smarter than they look!

Let’s hear it for signing with babies!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
and
Co-Founder, The Baby Signs® Program

Potty Training: Emotional Readiness

Over the last month, I’ve been sharing the kinds of “readiness” that pediatricians argue is critical to potty training. Previous posts have dealt with physical and cognitive readiness. Today we’ll tackle the third and final: emotional readiness.

Emotional readiness for potty training means a willingness to cooperate. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, the likelihood of such cooperation increases after the first birthday with the emergence of the following:

• A desire for independence and self-mastery
• An interest in imitating others
• A desire for approval

Once these fundamental characteristics in place, all that’s necessary is motivating children to cooperate. In other words, anything that increases the willingness of toddlers to embrace potty training automatically creates the emotional readiness that the AAP says is essential.

So, how does one help a 1- to 2-year-old get excited about potty training? Here at Baby Signs we’ve given that question a great deal of thought. Based on what we know about development, what we’ve experienced ourselves with our own children and grandchildren, and what we’ve heard from many parents, we’ve put together a set of materials designed to do just that—inspire even 1- to 2-year-olds to “climb on board the potty train.” They are all included in a kit entitled Potty Training Made Easy with the Baby Signs Program.

A highlight of these materials is our All Aboard the Potty Train DVD featuring our popular DiaperDoodle characters who slowly act out a typical “potty routine” that incorporates five helpful potty-time signs: POTTY, MORE, ALL DONE, WASH, and GOOD JOB. Additional motivational components include a lift-a-flap board book, conductor’s whistle and stickers.

To review: If children are physically and cognitively “ready” for potty training between ages 1 and 2 and can be inspired to cooperate using fun materials, why wait! Help reverse the diaper-industry-inspired trend toward later and later potty training by getting your child out of diapers by age 2. Your child, the environment, and your pocketbook will all thank you!

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
and
Co-Founder, The Baby Signs® Program

A Valentine’s Day Message

All of a sudden it’s February, and with February come thoughts of Valentine’s Day, the one day of the year totally devoted to “love.” What a broad term that is! The Greeks identified many, many different types of love – from the love we feel for our soul mates, to the love we feel for our friends, to the love we feel for a beautiful sunset or favorite poem. But when it comes to love, we feel sure you’ll agree that there’s no deeper or more important emotion than the love we feel for our children. One of my favorite quotations from writer Elizabeth Stone makes this point exquisitely. To have children, she says, is “to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” 

We know from our own experiences that parenting children is both the most rewarding and most challenging job you will ever face. More than any other life-change, the sudden responsibility of having to steer a helpless infant through the murky waters and ever-shifting currents of modern life can seem overwhelming. And with good reason. The world is a vastly different place from the one we knew as children ourselves. As we struggle to raise our children while also dealing with unimaginable technologies, economic and political uncertainty, changing moral attitudes, and growing cultural diversity, it’s only natural to make mistakes along the way.

Fortunately, children don’t expect or need perfection from us. Children, even during the infant and toddler years, are flexible creatures with a capacity to forgive – just as long as the scale, overall, is very clearly weighted in a positive direction. It’s as though Mother Nature has realized that not the richest parent, not the most educated parent, not the most well-meaning parent in the world, can be expected to do a perfect job. What children do expect from us is unwavering love and devotion – through both the good and the hard times, through both the terrible two’s and the terrible teens! And that’s what we need to remember this Valentine season.

As you pause to reflect on the love you feel for your own children, we know you will appreciate the profound wisdom contained in these words from Lloyd deMause with which I close:

“The evolution of culture is ultimately determined by the amount of love, understanding and freedom experienced by its children... Every abandonment, every betrayal, every hateful act towards children returns tenfold a few decades later upon the historical stage, while every empathic act that helps a child become what he or she wants to become, every expression of love toward children heals society and moves it in unexpected, wondrous new directions.”

Happy Valentine’s Day—and Happy Signing!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
and
Co-Founder, The Baby Signs® Program

Potty Training: What About Cognitive Readiness?

I've started out this year with a series of postings about potty training, a topic we here at Baby Signs care about so strongly that we've created a potty training program that incorporates signing in order to make it possible to potty train children at earlier ages. In my last posting I pointed out that the American Academy of Pediatrics cites three factors as indicators that a child is “ready” for potty training: physical, cognitive, and emotional. In that post I focused on physical readiness, pointing to the fact that children used to routinely be trained by 18 months as clear evidence that children are physically ready much earlier than they are currently given credit for.

Today I’m taking a closer look at the second factor: cognitive readiness. According to the AAP, in order to actively participate in potty training, children must understand what it is they are supposed to do and be able to communicate about it. That is, be able to:
• Associate the need to eliminate with using the potty
• Understand simple instructions
• Signal an adult when they need to go

Again, the fact that children in the past were routinely trained by 18 months indicates that the first two of these abilities are both available quite early and certainly by 18 months.

As for signaling an adult, that’s easily dealt with through the use of simple signs! Just as children can learn to let their parents know when they feel the internal pangs of hunger, thirst, and even illness using simple signs like EAT, DRINK, MILK, MORE, and HURT, they can equally easily signal the urge to eliminate using a simple sign—POTTY. We’ve seen it work ourselves and have heard success stories from countless parents.

Bottom line? Using simple signs helps provide children the “cognitive readiness” they need to take an active role in potty training well before age 2.

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
and
Co-Founder, The Baby Signs® Program

Potty Training: What Does “Ready” Really Mean?

Last week I talked about the trend toward later and later potty training and the role that the diaper industry has played in persuading parents that waiting is a good idea. After all, the longer children are in diapers, the more money they make! To help reverse this trend, we here at Baby Signs have developed a potty training program that uses signing to enable babies to signal the need to go long before they have words. In fact, our goal is to help parents get their children trained by age 24 – 30 months.

But are children “ready” that early? The question arises because parents frequently hear that it’s best to wait until a child is “ready” for potty training before beginning the process. But what exactly does the term “ready” mean? For the answer we turn to the American Academy of Pediatrics’ (AAP) Guide to Toilet Training (2003). According to the AAP, parents should watch for readiness in three specific developmental domains: physical, cognitive, and emotional. Over the next few postings, we’ll take a closer look at what’s required in each case starting with physical readiness.

According to the AAP, in order to actively participate in potty training, children must be physically able to:

• Sense when they need to eliminate
• Delay elimination long enough to get to the potty
• Sit independently on a potty chair

At what age do these skills typically appear? This is an easy question to answer based on the information about the history of potty training I described in my posting last week. If you’ve had a chance to read that entry you may remember the fact that before the invention of the disposable diaper in the early 1960s, children in the United States were routinely trained by 18 months! Is there any reason to suspect that children have changed so radically over the last 50 years that they’ve completely lost these physical abilities? Obviously not! If that was the norm up until the 1960s, then clearly children today are physically ready for potty training well before age 2.

In other words, it’s simply a cop out (as my son would say) to use a lack of “physical readiness” as an excuse to delay potty training until children are 3-years-old.

Stay tuned for discussion of cognitive and emotional “readiness.”

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

Late Potty Training: Legacy of the Diaper Industry

Back in the 1980s when my children were young and not yet potty trained at 30 months, my mother-in-law would gently chastise me by saying that her kids were all trained by 18 months. At the time I thought that was pure exaggeration—the result of faulty memory or the desire to inspire me to get the kids trained. Now I know she was telling the absolute truth!

It turns out that before the 1960s children were routinely trained by 18 months—some estimates being as high as 95% of children. Given how distasteful and time-consuming it was to deal with the cloth diapers of the day, such an early age is understandable. Cloth diapers had to be rinsed out in the toilet, laundered in strong detergent and hot water, hung out to dry, folded and stacked—all steps that had to be repeated just a few days later. No wonder moms were eager to get their children out of diapers!

All this changed in the early 1960s with the invention of the disposable diaper. The good news was that their absorbency meant that babies stayed dryer and their ease of use meant that parents’ work was reduced. There was good news for the diaper industry’s bottom line, too, given the rapturous response parents had to this incredible new invention. It shouldn’t be a surprise, therefore, to hear that the industry began promoting the idea of later and later training.

By persuading both parents and pediatricians that later was better and by creating bigger and bigger diapers, the diaper industry has managed to move the average age of completion from younger than 18 months to over age 3—and still climbing! Most recently the industry introduced a size 7 diaper that can accommodate 6-year-old kids! And don’t let the name “pull-ups” fool you. They are simply disposable diapers in the shape of underpants.

The trend toward later and later training would be fine if it was good for children—but it’s not! It’s not good for children or their parents—and it’s definitely not good for the environment.

I’ll explain all this soon. Stay tuned. . . .

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

New Year’s Resolution: Potty Time!

The new year is closing in on us and, if you’re like me, your mind is gravitating toward “New Year’s Resolutions.” (It’s a given that two of mine will be to exercise more and eat less—and this year I mean it!)

But as I let my mind drift back, it returns to a New Years over 20 years ago—1988 to be exact--when my son, Kai, was 2 ½ and I was facing (no, dreading!) the challenge of potty training. I had been asked by my mother-in-law over Christmas why he wasn’t trained yet and I told her he “wasn’t ready” and that my pediatrician had assured me that Kai would let me know when the time was right. But darn it, he seemed perfectly content to let things continue as they were! The problem with this was that I needed to enroll him in a new child care program more convenient to the university where I taught and they wouldn’t let him in unless he was out of diapers.

So, I made a New Year’s Resolution to start in the Spring. Ready or not, here I come—with the potty! By that time he was closing in on 3 and really not interested in wasting time using the potty when he could be playing and just using his diaper as he had been doing for the past 30 months. Problem was that the child care enrollment deadline was looming and he simply had to get trained!

Fortunately, the passage of time has dimmed my memory of the struggles that ensued (and there were struggles)—with one exception. I remember vividly promising the director of the child care center that he was, indeed, trained—and then feigning surprise when they would inform me that he had had an accident again. “Oh, I’m sure it’s the stress of starting a new school,” I lied. I’m not proud of myself for lying to them, but, like many parents before and since, I was desperate!

Since that time I’ve learned a lot about potty training, enough in fact, to feel comfortable creating a whole program designed to make it easier for parent and child alike to get potty training done by age 2. It's called The Baby Signs® Potty Training Program and has been successfully used by thousands of parents. The secret? It includes both step by step instructions for parents and fun things to inspire the little one to get on board with the enterprise. That's what "ready" means, after all--willingness to cooperate.

So, for those of you thinking about Potty Training in 2013, I urge you to do as I say and not as I did some 20 years ago. In other words, climb on board the "potty training" sooner rather than later!
Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
and
Co-Founder, The Baby Signs® Program

Helping Kids Cope with Tragedy

Here we are in what should be a joyous celebration of the holiday seasons with hearts full of good cheer, and instead I find my thoughts returning time and again to the families of the children and teachers who were slaughtered in Connecticut last week. Anyone who has parented a child will find it almost impossible to imagine the horror that has engulfed that community.

My thoughts also, however, turn to the living—to parents all over the country who are wondering how to help their own children deal with what has happened. To this end, in this week’s blog I share some strategies experts have been posting this week. Much of this advice will serve equally well for national tragedies like the current one and scary situations closer to home--like accidents, robberies, fires, or natural disasters.

Let your child’s questions guide the discussion. This is especially true for very young children who may be surprisingly oblivious to what’s going on around them. In fact, sometimes parents are upset that their children are not upset! If you find yourself feeling that way, keep in mind that children’s worlds are very narrow and revolve almost exclusively around what affects them personally. Remember, the last thing you want to do is create anxiety where none exists!

Limit viewing of television coverage. Although it’s natural for adults to want their children to empathize with others’ suffering, resist the impulse to use the heartbreaking coverage of a tragedy to generate such feelings. All you may be creating is fear and sadness that make your child feel helpless. Look instead for ways to foster empathy that involve situations that are easy for a young child to understand--and remedy (e.g., another child is hurt, an animal is cold and hungry, a relative is feeling lonely).

Reassure your child that he/she is safe. This is obviously a very important goal. The term “reassure” is important because it reflects the reality that it is natural for children to be afraid. Don’t dismiss these fears. Listen carefully, let them talk, try to see if they have specific fears or a general anxiety. If there are specific fears—for example, that their classroom is not safe—talk about specific steps the school is taking to ensure their safety. Emphasize the availability of trustworthy adults both at school and at home.

Watch for changes in behavior. Anxiety can reveal itself in many ways besides just words. Be aware of changes in appetite, sleep patterns, acting out, clinging, etc. that seem to coincide with the external situation.

Review safety precautions. Doing so will be reassuring for both of you. Simply knowing the ABCs of what to do and what not to do (and why) will help ease anxiety.

While it’s true that we can’t protect our children forever from the suffering that life can bring, at least we can use steps like these to ease them into reality.


Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
and
Co-Founder, The Baby Signs® Program

Baby Sign Language in Action!

One of my favorite topics for this blog is describing how creative babies are in their use of signs. While it’s true that they use them effectively for routine needs, like more food or drink or being “all done,” these are only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the ways that babies communicate with signs. Here are some stories that illustrate my point.

• Baby Aubrey’s mom wrote to us about how Aubrey used the signs for COLD and OUTSIDE when her mother opened the door to let the dog out and used them again—along with an emphatic shake of the head for NO—when her mom started to put Aubrey’s coat on to leave the house.

• Here’s another story where a dog played a prominent role. Henry’s mom told us how Henry came to her and signed DOG plus DRINK—and sure enough, the dog’s water bowl was empty.

• I particularly like the creativity shown in the following story. The signs for FLY (actually, BUG) and WATER came in handy for a 16-month-old when she wanted to play with a common utensil—the “fly-swatter!”

• And then there’s little Julia who, upon seeing a mom wearing a front pack with her baby’s arms and legs hanging out and head peeping out the top, got a quizzical look on her face and signed TURTLE!

Over the years I’ve learned that many people don’t “get it” about baby sign language until they hear stories like this. What a wonderful way to show people unfamiliar with babies that there truly is “somebody home in there!”

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
and
Co-Founder, The Baby Signs® Program

How Would You Feel If….

Over the years, I’ve learned that challenging a parent’s reaction to his or her child’s behavior is a delicate matter. One strategy that has worked for me is what I call the “How would you feel if…” technique. Essentially, the idea is to describe a situation analogous to the child’s but where the parent is in the spotlight. Here’s an example from my book about emotional development (with Dr. Susan Goodwyn), Baby Hearts, dealing with a parent’s angry and humiliating reaction to his son’s fear of a dog.

Max, the neighbor’s overly friendly Labrador retriever, lopes toward 2-year-old Timmy who quickly takes shelter behind his dad’s leg and begins to cry. His dad, Jim, following in the footsteps of generations of dads with sons, says, “Don’t be such a scaredy-cat. He’s not going to hurt you!” Do those words help? No. In fact, research shows that sympathizing with a child’s fears is an important ingredient in the recipe for creating empathy. Perhaps the next scenario might make that dad react differently.

New York City born and bred, Jim decides to take Timmy and the rest of his family to Idaho for an exciting week on a “Dude Ranch.” While his family is still eating breakfast, Jim wanders out to the corral. As he approaches the gate, it suddenly swings open and a large horse comes bounding out of the gate toward him. Jim jumps back quickly, slips, and finds himself in the dirt looking up as the horse races by, leaving him in a cloud of dust. As Jim lies in the dirt, shocked and shaken, the resident cowboy comes sauntering out and drawls, “Hey, city boy, don’t be such a scaredy -cat. He ain’t gonna hurt you!” Jim pulls himself up and stumbles back to the house--humiliated, angry, and feeling he had every right to be frightened given the horse was so large and unknown to him.

We can only hope that parents like Jim make the connection!

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
and
Co-Founder, The Baby Signs® Program

Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
and
Co-Founder, The Baby Signs® Program

A Sign of Thanks for Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving, my favorite holiday, is just a few days away. I love it because it’s an opportunity to gather with family, eat great food, and say “Thanks” for the many blessings we enjoy—including one another. Here’s a great story about how the ability of a baby to sign made Thanksgiving dinner extra sweet for one family. It comes from a former student of mine, Stella, at UC Davis.

Stella and her parents traveled to Chicago to share Thanksgiving with her sister, brother-in-law, and 3 kids—including 15-month-old Kayla, a graduate of our Baby Signs classes. Once everyone was seated at the table, Stella’s dad said a short grace and stood up to carve the turkey. Suddenly Kayla squealed and began to excitedly sign “apple.” Despite being offered some applesauce, Kayla kept repeating the sign even more determinedly. Finally, seemingly out of frustration, Kayla added a second sign—“Thank you” to her “apple” sign. It was then that her mom figured it out. At dinner time at Kayla’s house, instead of saying grace at the table, the tradition was to hold hands and sing the “Johnny Appleseed” song—the one where you “thank the Lord” for “the sun and the rain and the apple seed.” Kayla clearly felt that her grandfather’s grace wasn’t good enough! Once everyone held hands and sang the song with real gusto, Kayla was satisfied and settled down to eat—no doubt saying a silent “thanks” that she’d finally gotten her message across!

Helping children learn to be truly thankful for the blessings in their lives is a challenge that every parent faces. Teaching the sign for “thank you” (fingertips moving in an arching motion outward from the chin) is a great way to get it started at a remarkably early age. And what better time to start than Thanksgiving!

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
and
Co-Founder, The Baby Signs Program

The Baby Signs® Program: An Intervention Before Parents Even Know There is a Need

Over the years Dr. Susan Goodwyn, co-founder with me of the Baby Signs® Program, and I have received emails from Baby Signs® Instructors, from parents, and even from our academic colleagues, all commenting on the potential benefits not just of signing, but specifically of the Baby Signs® Program, for autistic children and urging us to take a closer look. Given the severe problems so many autistic children have with verbal language, we believed they were right, but it was the following email in particular from a Baby Signs® Instructor that caused us to really sit up and take notice. Here’s what she told us:

“I got a call from someone who teaches autistic children. She thanked me for teaching the Baby Signs® Program and shared that she uses signs with the older kids she works with and it really helps them. She went on to say that our teaching signs to parents of babies is a wonderful thing for autistic children because parents often do not get a diagnosis until they are older, so they are getting some intervention before they even know there is a problem.”

What startled us into action was the insight that by teaching young babies to sign, we are providing parents of autistic children “…some intervention before they even know there is a problem.” With this email as the inspiration, we’ve put together a list of research based findings about autism and reasons why we believe the Baby Signs® Program (BSP), including our DVD-based potty training program, holds the promise of being especially beneficial to families with autistic children, both before and after they are diagnosed.

• FINDING: A teaching method in which sign and word are paired together is especially valuable because it provides information that will be needed by autistic children who turn out to be capable of moving on to verbal communication.
BSP: Our program instructs adults to always pair the word with the sign when modeling for children with the goal of fostering verbal language. What’s more, our federally-funded research with non-special-needs children indicates it works.

• FINDING: Research indicates that autistic children do learn important things from video presentations; in fact, some research even suggests they learn more easily from video than from live demonstrations.
BSP: Our program offers a wide variety of extremely high-quality DVDs designed to directly teach important signs while they entertain. Children simply LOVE these DVDs.

• FINDING: Autistic children benefit from repetition and routines.
BSP: Because repetition is the key to success with all young children, our DVDs provide lots of repetition of the signs by real babies and our animated DiaperDoodle characters. The fact that children enjoy them so much that they ask to watch them over and over is an added plus.

• FINDING: Autistic children can be a particular challenge to potty train because they can’t communicate effectively and often aren’t motivated to please their parents or respond to social reinforcement.
BSP: Our potty training DVD is designed specifically to teach the potty routine (which appeals to autistic kids) and 5 potty-time signs (which provides necessary communication) through lots of repetition and modeling by the DiaperDoodles, our animated characters.

• FINDING: When they first hear about signing with children, many adults are intimidated and fear that it will take too much learning on their part.
BSP: Baby Signs® resources and classes make learning easy and fun for parents, teachers, and child care professionals.

Visit www.babysigns.com for more information about Baby Signs® resources

to help you and your baby enjoy all the benefits that signing can bring.

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to visit us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
and
Co-Founder, The Baby Signs® Program

Crafty Ways to Sneak in Math Principles

Today, I'm taking a detour from baby sign language to share some fun information from the book I co-authored with Dr. Susan Goodwyn, Baby Minds.

Given the choice, almost all of us, no matter our age, would choose to play a game or bake cookies or fly a paper airplane rather than sit down in front of a teacher for a formal lesson in math basics. Fortunately, savvy parents can take advantage of these more enjoyable activities—and others—to help their young children start appreciating the principles behind numbers, shapes, and even fractions. Here are some examples:

• Board Games: Old favorites like “Chutes & Ladders” and “Candyland” require children to recognize the number when they spin the pointer and then to count off squares. In doing so, they practice the sequence of number names and get a concrete lesson in the quantity that each number represents. The added benefit is that the child is highly motivated to pay attention, not only to the number squares she moves but also to any mistakes her partner might make. As a result, a single game of Chutes & Ladders can yield a total of 30 or more lessons in number recognition and counting—without your child ever suspecting you had an ulterior motive!

• Card Games: Simple games like “Go Fish” can introduce young children to numbers. Even if they don’t know the number names yet, they can hold up a card that represents what they want (“Do you have any of these?”) and the other player can name it (“Oh, you want to know if I have any 5s.”). “Go Fish” also requires kids to compare cards in their hand in order to put sets down on the table. (Tip: For very young children, limit the deck to cards 1 through 5, gradually increasing the number as they get older.)

• Cooking: Making cookies has the potential to expose kids to lots of important math basics. For example, measuring teaches “more” vs. “less” and fractions. Sorting the cookies into equal numbers to “share” teaches equivalence. Baking teaches about time.

• Paper Folding Activities: Start appreciating the mathematical nature of traditional activities like wrapping presents, making paper airplanes, and cutting snowflakes from folded paper. In each case, your child is being challenged to visualize how a flat piece of paper relates to its folded version.

• Sewing: Simple sewing project (using glue instead of needles and thread) require spatial skill. Pieces of cloth must be measured, cut, and put together correctly. In fact, there’s nothing like discovering that a seam is on the outside instead of the inside to remind you how important it is to think through spatial relationships carefully. For a first project, try the following: Take two equal-sized pieces of cloth, help your child glue them together on 3 sides, fill this “envelope” with stuffing, and glue up the final side. Result? Not only a handmade pillow of which she can be proud, aut also an early lesson in area versus volume!

So, pull out those board games, mixing bowls, and pieces of paper and start sneaking in math knowledge in ways that are fun for everyone!

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to visit us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
and
Co-Founder, The Baby Signs® Program

Missing the Point

A colleague at UC Davis recently alerted me to a news report from a TV station in Washington DC that raised the concern that signing with babies might diminish interaction between babies and parents. Nothing could be further from the truth, as any parent who’s lived with a signing baby can testify.

First of all, modeling signs for babies means parents are (a) making lots of eye contact and (b) actively looking for opportunities to do so. A mom who might otherwise be content to simply plop a bunch of Cheerios in front a a baby, is likely to put a few down, stay close, and model the sign for MORE when the first ones are gone. Result? More, rather than less interaction.

Second, parents who are modeling signs are inevitably also anxiously watching their child to see if he or she is (a) understanding the sign, (b) imitating the sign, or (most exciting of all) (c) spontaneous using the sign to direct the parent’s attention. Result? Closer observation means more rather than less interaction.

Third, once a baby is able to request specific items with signs, everyone’s frustration is reduced. Result? Fewer tantrums and tears mean more time and emotional energy for pleasant interactions.

Fourth, once a baby is signing, parents begin experiencing the magic of having a window into their child’s mind. This means they can easily figure out what is fascinating their child at the moment (e.g., a butterfly, or the sound of a dog barking) and join the child in reveling in the experience. Result? Richer and more rewarding interaction for both parent and child.

So, next time you hear or read something so off-base as that signing reduces parent-child interaction, consider sharing these points—or better yet, your own experiences—with whomever it is that needs educating!

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to visit us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
and
Co-Founder, The Baby Signs® Program

Baby Sign Language: A Boon to Multilingual Classrooms

Last week I wrote about how children being raised in bilingual households benefit from having signs added to the mix. As I pointed out, the logic is simple: When the baby, as an example, hears “leche” from Mom and “milk” from Dad and both parents pair the word they say with the MILK sign, the parents are making the job of understanding the equivalence of the two words much easier. Far from increasing a child’s confusion, it decreases confusion, thereby making the child’s task of conquering the individual languages easier.

Of course, signing has another advantage in multilingual settings, especially in child care classrooms where teachers and families speak different languages: The signs provide a common language so that toddlers who are learning the family language can still make themselves understood. Just such a situation exists at the Center for Child and Family Studies at the University of California, Davis, where graduate students from all over the world routinely enroll their infants and toddlers. In the 22 years since the Baby Signs® Program was first introduced, teachers and parents alike have been amazed at how much more smoothly daily life in the classroom proceeds. The signs have enable children who speak different languages to communicate with their teachers and each other. In one case, for example, a toddler from Israel and a toddler from Taiwan were observed reading a picture book together—with the first girl turning the pages and pointing at objects while the second girl made the appropriate signs!

Bottom line? Signing is clearly a boon to children facing the challenge of hearing multiple languages—an increasingly common occurrence these days—whether at home or in the classroom.

Visit www.babysigns.com for more information about Baby Signs® resources to help you and your baby enjoy all the benefits that signing can bring.

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to visit us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
and
Co-Founder, The Baby Signs® Program

Baby Sign Language—A Boon to Multilingual Households

One of the most frequent questions I get is the following: “My baby is exposed to two languages at home. Won’t adding the Baby Signs® Program just make her task more complicated by adding a third?”

The answer is a strong and resounding “No!” The truth is that, no matter what form bilingual input takes, adding signing to the mix actually makes the child’s job easier, not harder. Here’s why.

In a bilingual household, babies hear two words being used to label objects, and what they need to figure out is that both words are equally valid—in other words, that they mean the same thing. For example, if babies hear both the word “leche” and the word “milk,” they need to understand that the words are equivalent.

And that’s where signing becomes helpful. Quite simply, signs act as mediators between the languages, making the equivalence of words obvious to the baby. For example, when the baby hears “leche” from Mom and “milk” from Dad and both parents pair the word they say with the MILK sign, the parents are making the job of connecting the object with the meanings of both words much easier for babies.

In other words, rather than confusing children in bilingual families, signs help smooth the road to understanding and speaking both languages.

Happy Signing

(and don’t forget to visit us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
and
Co-Founder, The Baby Signs® Program

Laying the Foundation for Chores

I’ll get to chores in a minute. First, I want to set the stage by reminding readers of how fundamental “habits” are to everyday life. Even when daydreaming we stop at stop signs and red lights. Many of us (admittedly, not all of us!) automatically hang up our towels neatly after using them. And most of us have a ritual we carry out when we first get up in the morning even if we’re still half asleep. These are actions that have been repeated so frequently that they have become firmly entrenched habits;.

Of course, these aren’t the habits we’re eager for toddlers to adopt. Instead, what parents need to consider is the long term advantage of starting early to establish a willingness to help with tasks that need doing, thereby laying the foundation for actual “chores.” Even though they are still too young to take full responsibility for most tasks (e.g., remembering to feed the dog), getting 2- to 4-year-olds in the habit of helping at a very young age will make the transition to true chores much easier.

The good news is that toddlers and young preschoolers love to help. In fact these days it’s often busy parents, understanding that it’s faster to do things by themselves, who demur. That’s a mistake! Taking advantage of this early eagerness will pay off in the long run. Here’s how:

Most parents are wise enough to reward volunteered help with praise and affection—two goodies that are powerful reinforcers for young kids. Such positive reinforcement tends to result in a behavior being repeated—which results in more goodies and more volunteering—which results in more goodies and more volunteering…and on, and on. In other words, the more times a child is taken up on his offer to “help” and leaves feeling good about himself, the more likely he will be to volunteer in the future. Pretty soon helping is an entrenched “habit,” thereby making the move to assigned chores when the child is older much easier.

So what can the 2-4 set help with? They are actually remarkably good at judging what they might be able to manage, so take every “I help?” seriously. The photos above give an example. Two-year-old Julia spends Thursdays in our Baby Signs office with her mom, Bonita. Here you see her accomplishing the task of unpacking rolls of paper towels from a box and stacking them on a shelf in the rest room. Needless to say, she received high praise from all of us Of course, it would have been faster for one of us to do it ourselves, but this way Julia had the satisfaction of a job well done –which you can definitely see on her face as she relaxes in the empty box!

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to visit us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
and
Co-Founder, The Baby Signs® Program