Going Beyond Single Signs

There’s no doubt that a single sign—such as MORE, for example—conveys important information. But there’s also no denying that the combination MORE + COOKIE is even clearer. Babies seem to know this intuitively; that’s why as soon as they can, they begin stringing two words (or signs!) together and sentences are born.

This important intellectual milestone—the ability to put true words together—typically occurs on average around 20 months, with many babies waiting until their third year. Things happen much earlier, however, with signs. Because signs are easier to learn than words, babies can begin putting them together with each other and with single words as early as 12 months! The most useful signs in this regard are MORE which can be combined with lots of other signs or words (e.g., cookie, milk, book, bubbles, etc.) and ALL GONE which is equally combinable (e.g., with water for down the drain, food words or signs, and even animal signs when animals run or fly away).

Many signing babies, however, don’t stop with just two. Here’s a great illustration: Michelle, mom to toddler twins Jimmie and Julianna (see photo), decided to make a detour from shopping and take the kids for their first trip through the car wash. She thought they might enjoy it. Instead, they began crying hysterically, clearly terrified by the onslaught of water, brushes, and noise. That night when Daddy got home, they immediately told him all about it…with signs: CAR + BATH+ SCARED! For weeks afterward, when they would get in the car they would repeat the same “sentence” just to make sure Mom wouldn’t forget and take them there again!

Yup! Sometimes one word (or sign) alone isn’t nearly enough!

Happy Signing! (and don’t forget to look for us on Facebook)

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

I'd Love to Meet You!

I’m currently in the midst of preparing for a 2-day, in-person training in Denver on June 24-25. I love these trainings! It’s my chance to share my passion for the Baby Signs® Program “up close and personal” with others who are eager to pass along the good news to families in their own communities. The attendees come from two different groups. One group includes individuals interested in starting their own home businesses by becoming Baby Signs® Independent Certified Instructors. These folks will not only have fun giving classes, but will also have the satisfaction of earning extra income. The other group are representatives from child development related organizations and agencies who want the ability to teach Baby Signs® classes to the clients they serve. We call folks in this latter group “Agency Certified Instructors.”

These trainings always leave me with good memories—and new friends—which is why I look forward to them so much. Here’s an example: One of our attendees—who I will call Joyce—was eager to become an instructor because of her experience with her grandson, Jacob. Unfortunately, Joyce lived some 1500 miles away from Jacob and had only been able to visit right after he was born. Her daughter tried to bridge the gap with a photo of Joyce on his bureau and a routine where he would kiss the photo every night while his mom said “Goodnight Grandma. We LOVE you!”

When Jacob was about 11 months old, Joyce's daughter announced she was going to begin teaching Jacob to communicate with signs. Joyce had never heard of such a thing and was more than a little dubious. (She even admitted at the training that she had been secretly worried that using signs would slow down Jacob learning to talk, an admission which led nicely during the training into my description of our research at UCD proving the opposite is true!).

All her qualms faded away, however, one night when Joyce and her daughter inaugurated their brand new Skype connection. Joyce, of course, was eager to say “Hello” to Jacob. Jacob, always glad to get in front of the computer, cooperated by climbing into his mother’s lap and turning his eyes to the screen to see what fun game was going on. But then, in something of a double-take, his eyes grew wide as he caught sight of Joyce. He then spontaneously leaned forward, kissed the screen, smiled broadly and—much to Joyce and her daughter’s delighted amazement—signed “LOVE” by crossing his hands over his heart!

Jacob and Joyce continued after that night to communicate via Skype, with Jacob using his signs to tell her about his day. But no matter what other amazing things Jacob did with his signing, nothing could top that first memorable moment. And that’s why she was at our training. Why shouldn’t every grandma experience the magic of learning that, although she may be far away, she’s far from forgotten!

If you or someone you know is interested in learning more about our upcoming training, just click “Professional Trainings” on our home page. Hope to see you there!

Happy Signing! (and don’t forget to look for us on Facebook)

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

A Grandma By Any Other Name. . .

I’m on a kick about grandparents, probably because I’ve been able to spend lots of time with my nearing 4-years-old grandchildren. Of course, I’m too young to be a grandmother—aren’t we all? Fortunately, the grandmother image I grew up with has slowly given way to a new view. When I was a child, grandmothers, including my own, were typically frail women with white hair drawn up into a bun, solid black laced-up old lady shoes, and flowered dresses about as form fitting as a garage around a car. Nowadays, grandmothers are vibrant women still right in the thick of things, with or without gray hair—but very seldom in a bun!

One thing, however, hasn’t changed and never will. Grandmothers of any era relish the first time a grandchild reaches out with a smile and murmurs some version of her name, be it “gamma,” “mimi,” or “nana.” The wait for this memorable event is often long—sometimes not until a child is over 2 years old—because learning to say words is such a struggle for young children.

Fortunately, there’s a way around this frustration and the need for guessing. The solution is helping babies and toddlers use signs to communicate with those they love. And included in these sign vocabularies for many children are signs for grandpa and grandma that function exactly like names. Here are some fun examples from our files:

--13-month-old Claire used a rocking motion as her name for Grandma because Grandma frequently rocked her in a rocking chair.

--12-month-old Kai picked up on the way his Grandpa always threw him up in the air and began raising his arms up high whenever his grandpa arrived—or even when he saw a picture of him.

--15-month-old Sadie would enthusiastically do her version of the ASL sign for Grandma (thumb of open hand on chin, arched forward two times) when Grandma entered the house.

Being a grandparent is one of the sweetest experiences on earth, and now it’s easy to make it sweeter still. Start signing with your grandbabies today and enjoy the sense of connection and love that being able to communicate brings.

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

Grammies and Papas: Great Signing Teachers

The fact that my twin-grandchildren, Nate and Olivia, are nearing their 4th birthday reminds me how long I’ve been writing this blog! Some of the earliest entries were about them—the frightening image of seeing barely 3-pound babies in the NICU with all sorts of tubes and monitors around them, the magic of holding them when they were carefully lifted from their Isolettes, the miracle of their first birthday when it was truly clear that they would grow up strong and healthy.

And then there are the memories of all the signing we did together: how enchanted Nate was with flowers and would sniff (his sign for flower) wherever he saw them; how Olivia, always hungry, would make good use of the “more” sign; and how they would excitedly sign “moon” and take me outside to see it up in the daylight sky.

The chance to be with them and watch them sign reminds me that grandparents make ideal teachers of signs—whether it be to their own grandchildren or to other children in their communities. The reason is that the experience of raising their own children enables them to recognize how helpful signs are in avoiding the tears and tantrums that arise when infants and toddlers need to communicate but simply can’t.

Grandparents also tend to have the patience and wisdom that come with years of dealing with people of all ages, enabling them to approach both parents and children with confidence and caring. Finally, from their life experiences they truly understand that successful communication fosters love and understanding—a wonderful gift for any grandparent to give--and to receive.

That’s why we are pleased that more and more grandparents are joining our Baby Signs® Independent Certified Instructor (ICI) team. Our ICI program enables individuals to set their own hours and work as much or as little as they want, all the time earning income while helping families and childcare centers enjoy all the benefits that signing can bring.

If you are a grandparent or know of one who might make a great Baby Signs® teacher, pass along this link to a video describing our instructor program.

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
and
Co-Founder, The Baby Signs® Program

From Signs to Speech—Inevitable!

Parents and babies love the Baby Signs® Program because it reduces frustration and makes being together even more fun. But speech is even more important, isn't it? Will babies be willing to move on to words if life is so easy with signs?

Despite our federally-funded research evidence showing that signing babies actually learn to talk sooner, some parents still worry that their babies will be too content with signing to do the work of learning to talk. Below are four reasons why children are, in fact, eager to make the transition from signs to speech:

New Places to Go: As toddlers get older and more mobile, they are more and more likely to wander away from direct eye-to-eye contact with parents—around corners, behind chairs, up and down the slide. Signs, which require being able to see each other, are much less effective that words in such situations. You simply can’t shout a sign from around the bend!

New Faces to Meet: Greater mobility and maturity also mean that children are destined to meet more and more new people along the way—people who engage them in conversations and most likely don’t know signs. They may be new playmates at daycare or cashiers at the grocery store or friendly parents at the park. Conversing with these folks requires words.

New Games to Play: Getting older also means that children become increasingly attracted to activities that keep the hands busy—like finger paints, crayons, puzzles, ladders to climb, bikes to ride. Signing in such situations is much less convenient that words!

New Things to Say: To a 15-month-old, simply telling you that he sees a butterfly is a magnificent feat—and one easily accomplished with a simple sign. However, as children grow intellectually, gathering more and more information about the world around them, the ideas they want to get across become much more complicated. Except for children whose parents are capable of teaching them to be fluent in ASL, complex ideas and observations are beyond the power of simple signs to express. Words are the perfect substitute.

So, don’t worry about the transition to speech; your child will be eager to move on to words. In fact, if you’re like many parents, you’ll actually be a bit sad to see the signs slowly drift away one by one as an onslaught of words takes over!

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

Shame and Guilt: Siblings but Definitely not Twins!

I'm taking a detour from talking about baby sign language to share information from the book I co-authored with Dr. Susan Goodwyn, Baby Hearts.

If you’re like me, you’ve often bandied about the terms “shame” and “guilt” as though they were synonymous—two words for the same internal, not-very-pleasant feeling that occurs when we’ve done something of which others disapprove. However, researchers looking at the development of emotions in children feel it’s very important to distinguish between them shame and guilt, for parents to understand the differences, and for parent to steer clear of instilling shame whenever possible.

So, what are the differences? There are two that stand out:

First and most central, there’s a difference between shame and guilt in where the person feels the error or “deficiency” lies. In the case of shame, the entire “self” is perceived as bad. In the case of guilt, the specific action, rather than the “self” is perceived as bad. For example, a child who feels shame over having broken a precious knickknack might say to herself, “I’m a bad bad girl,” while a child feeling guilty might say instead “Oh dear, I should have been more careful!”
A second important difference is in the actions which tend to follow once the misdeed is discovered. In the case of shame, because the internal feeling of being bad is so distressing, the person’s inclination is to flee the scene—to escape—or even more problematic, to blame the victim. Our little girl, for example, might say to herself, or even aloud, “It’s Grandma’s fault for leaving it there!” In contrast, a person who feels guilty, rather than trying to flee, is motivated to try to make amends, to right whatever wrong was done, and to prove it was a one-time-only lapse in judgment. In this case, our little girl might say, “I’m so sorry, Grandma! Maybe I can make you something pretty to take its place.”

Why does it matter whether a child tends to feel shame or to feel guilt? Because research shows that feelings of shame are more likely to result in hostility, depression, and a lack of empathy for others.

Given that all kids misbehave at one time or another, how can you avoid instilling a sense of shame? Quite simply, watch what you say! Instead of saying things like “You’re a bad girl” or “I’m disappointed in you,” emphasize the consequences of the misdeed, why you disapprove of the child’s behavior, and what can be done to make amends. Remember, children who are told often that they are “bad” gradually find themselves living up to your expectations in what psychologists call a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Just some important information to help you make sure your child is on the path to healthy emotional development.

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

The Baby Signs® Program & Learning to Talk

By far the most frequently voiced concern about encouraging babies to use signs to communicate before they can talk is that doing so will slow down verbal development. In fact, the exact opposite is true. Baby sign language actually speeds up the process.

How do we know? With a grant from the federal government, Dr. Susan Goodwyn and I compared verbal development in babies using the Baby Signs® Program with that of non-signing babies. In test after test the babies who signed were more advanced than the non-signers in language skills. (The published study is available on our Baby Signs web site.) We really weren’t surprised because we had already observed the following ways in which baby signing spurs language skills.

• Signing is to talking as crawling is to walking. In other words, just as crawling excites babies about getting around even faster by walking, the excitement of being able to communicate with signs motivates babies to figure out ways to communicate better—and the most obvious way is with words.

• Signing provides practice. The experience of signing teaches babies useful lessons about how language works (like using symbols to label objects, etc.). These lessons speed up the process of learning to talk once words are finally available.

• Signing pulls language from adults. The natural reaction to a baby’s use of a sign is to flood the child with words, and the more words a child hears, the faster he or she will learn to talk. What’s more, signs enable babies to pick the topic of conversation, thereby increasing the likelihood that they will listen attentively to the words parents say.

• Signing changes the brain. Every time a baby successfully uses a sign to label something, circuits in the brain are strengthened; circuits that then make learning words easier.

• Signing makes book-reading more fun. Babies who sign can actively participate in book-reading by labeling pictures they see well before they would be able to do so with words. Because taking a active role is more exciting they sitting passively on the sidelines, thereby making the experience more fun. How does that help language? Books expose children to lots of new vocabulary words and stimulate conversations.

So, the next time someone suggests that your use of the Baby Signs® Program is going to keep your child from talking, just smile knowingly, roll your eyes, and say “Oh, that old wives’ tale!”

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

What Exactly Does “Ba” Mean?!

I recently ran into an old friend who was out shopping with her 20-month-old granddaughter. I was delighted to hear that little Laney had taken our Baby Signs® Sign, Say & Play® class and been a great signer since age 10 months, and equally delighted to hear that words had started to appear in her repertoire as well. According to Grandma, however, most of these words sound pretty much the same, and although Mom and Dad can often figure them out based on context, it's a real challenge for Grandma. For example, she told me, Laney currently says something like “ba” for “baby,” “ball,” and “bottle.” What helps enormously, Grandma, said with a smile, is that Laney almost always combines the sign for what she's talking about with the word, thereby clarifying her message! So the sign for BABY accompanies "ba" in some cases, while the sign for BALL does so in others, etc.

Aha! A great example of how signing still has a role to play even when words begin! Instead of looking at their babies in frustration and listing all the possibilities, adults can correctly interpret these early words ( “Oh, baby! You see the baby!” ). Using signs in this way to clarify what they are trying to say is an advantage of baby sign language that is often overlooked—until a parent or grandparent very gratefully sees it in action. It turns out to be important because receiving positive attention for trying to talk is an important incentive that motivates children to keep working hard to add new words.

Just think how discouraging it is to be struggling to be understood in a foreign country when you can’t say the words quite right. It’s enough to make you want to retreat in silence to your hotel room! Having signs to help them clarify their messages keeps babies from feeling this way so that instead of retreating into silence, they become more and more excited about learning to talk.

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

Signs: A Window into the Infant Mind for Researchers Too

I spent last Tuesday with my twin, almost 4-year-old grandchildren—Nate and Olivia—because they were home sick from preschool. Both of them were great signers, so I decided to see if they remembered any of their signs. I mentioned that they used to use a sign for “more,” and Nathan quickly tapped his fists together, clearly remembering something from easily 18 months earlier. Then Olivia did the sign for “all done” and Nate asked me to remind him what the sign was for “drink.” Soon we were all into it with them remembering lots of signs—like book, bird, dog, and moon—and even a specific experience when they had used the bird sign to talk about a hawk out back. My conversation with them reminded me of one of my favorite signing stories where a 2-year-old little girl, who had switched from sign to words a whole year earlier, suddenly began to teach her doll the sign for “more!”

The doll story and my conversation with Nate and Olivia reminds me of one of the less obvious gifts signing with babies has given us. For a very long time, researchers (as well as parents) assumed that babies’ memory abilities were severely limited. And who was to tell us differently? After all, without words to share their thoughts, babies seem almost oblivious to the past and future. But now, with signs at their disposal, babies are sharing what they see, hear, feel, and even what they remember with both parents and researchers! Finally we’re getting proof that babies are a lot smarter than they look!

Let’s hear it for signing with babies!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
and
Co-Founder, The Baby Signs® Program

Potty Training: Emotional Readiness

Over the last month, I’ve been sharing the kinds of “readiness” that pediatricians argue is critical to potty training. Previous posts have dealt with physical and cognitive readiness. Today we’ll tackle the third and final: emotional readiness.

Emotional readiness for potty training means a willingness to cooperate. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, the likelihood of such cooperation increases after the first birthday with the emergence of the following:

• A desire for independence and self-mastery
• An interest in imitating others
• A desire for approval

Once these fundamental characteristics in place, all that’s necessary is motivating children to cooperate. In other words, anything that increases the willingness of toddlers to embrace potty training automatically creates the emotional readiness that the AAP says is essential.

So, how does one help a 1- to 2-year-old get excited about potty training? Here at Baby Signs we’ve given that question a great deal of thought. Based on what we know about development, what we’ve experienced ourselves with our own children and grandchildren, and what we’ve heard from many parents, we’ve put together a set of materials designed to do just that—inspire even 1- to 2-year-olds to “climb on board the potty train.” They are all included in a kit entitled Potty Training Made Easy with the Baby Signs Program.

A highlight of these materials is our All Aboard the Potty Train DVD featuring our popular DiaperDoodle characters who slowly act out a typical “potty routine” that incorporates five helpful potty-time signs: POTTY, MORE, ALL DONE, WASH, and GOOD JOB. Additional motivational components include a lift-a-flap board book, conductor’s whistle and stickers.

To review: If children are physically and cognitively “ready” for potty training between ages 1 and 2 and can be inspired to cooperate using fun materials, why wait! Help reverse the diaper-industry-inspired trend toward later and later potty training by getting your child out of diapers by age 2. Your child, the environment, and your pocketbook will all thank you!

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
and
Co-Founder, The Baby Signs® Program

A Valentine’s Day Message

All of a sudden it’s February, and with February come thoughts of Valentine’s Day, the one day of the year totally devoted to “love.” What a broad term that is! The Greeks identified many, many different types of love – from the love we feel for our soul mates, to the love we feel for our friends, to the love we feel for a beautiful sunset or favorite poem. But when it comes to love, we feel sure you’ll agree that there’s no deeper or more important emotion than the love we feel for our children. One of my favorite quotations from writer Elizabeth Stone makes this point exquisitely. To have children, she says, is “to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” 

We know from our own experiences that parenting children is both the most rewarding and most challenging job you will ever face. More than any other life-change, the sudden responsibility of having to steer a helpless infant through the murky waters and ever-shifting currents of modern life can seem overwhelming. And with good reason. The world is a vastly different place from the one we knew as children ourselves. As we struggle to raise our children while also dealing with unimaginable technologies, economic and political uncertainty, changing moral attitudes, and growing cultural diversity, it’s only natural to make mistakes along the way.

Fortunately, children don’t expect or need perfection from us. Children, even during the infant and toddler years, are flexible creatures with a capacity to forgive – just as long as the scale, overall, is very clearly weighted in a positive direction. It’s as though Mother Nature has realized that not the richest parent, not the most educated parent, not the most well-meaning parent in the world, can be expected to do a perfect job. What children do expect from us is unwavering love and devotion – through both the good and the hard times, through both the terrible two’s and the terrible teens! And that’s what we need to remember this Valentine season.

As you pause to reflect on the love you feel for your own children, we know you will appreciate the profound wisdom contained in these words from Lloyd deMause with which I close:

“The evolution of culture is ultimately determined by the amount of love, understanding and freedom experienced by its children... Every abandonment, every betrayal, every hateful act towards children returns tenfold a few decades later upon the historical stage, while every empathic act that helps a child become what he or she wants to become, every expression of love toward children heals society and moves it in unexpected, wondrous new directions.”

Happy Valentine’s Day—and Happy Signing!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
and
Co-Founder, The Baby Signs® Program

Potty Training: What About Cognitive Readiness?

I've started out this year with a series of postings about potty training, a topic we here at Baby Signs care about so strongly that we've created a potty training program that incorporates signing in order to make it possible to potty train children at earlier ages. In my last posting I pointed out that the American Academy of Pediatrics cites three factors as indicators that a child is “ready” for potty training: physical, cognitive, and emotional. In that post I focused on physical readiness, pointing to the fact that children used to routinely be trained by 18 months as clear evidence that children are physically ready much earlier than they are currently given credit for.

Today I’m taking a closer look at the second factor: cognitive readiness. According to the AAP, in order to actively participate in potty training, children must understand what it is they are supposed to do and be able to communicate about it. That is, be able to:
• Associate the need to eliminate with using the potty
• Understand simple instructions
• Signal an adult when they need to go

Again, the fact that children in the past were routinely trained by 18 months indicates that the first two of these abilities are both available quite early and certainly by 18 months.

As for signaling an adult, that’s easily dealt with through the use of simple signs! Just as children can learn to let their parents know when they feel the internal pangs of hunger, thirst, and even illness using simple signs like EAT, DRINK, MILK, MORE, and HURT, they can equally easily signal the urge to eliminate using a simple sign—POTTY. We’ve seen it work ourselves and have heard success stories from countless parents.

Bottom line? Using simple signs helps provide children the “cognitive readiness” they need to take an active role in potty training well before age 2.

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
and
Co-Founder, The Baby Signs® Program

Potty Training: What Does “Ready” Really Mean?

Last week I talked about the trend toward later and later potty training and the role that the diaper industry has played in persuading parents that waiting is a good idea. After all, the longer children are in diapers, the more money they make! To help reverse this trend, we here at Baby Signs have developed a potty training program that uses signing to enable babies to signal the need to go long before they have words. In fact, our goal is to help parents get their children trained by age 24 – 30 months.

But are children “ready” that early? The question arises because parents frequently hear that it’s best to wait until a child is “ready” for potty training before beginning the process. But what exactly does the term “ready” mean? For the answer we turn to the American Academy of Pediatrics’ (AAP) Guide to Toilet Training (2003). According to the AAP, parents should watch for readiness in three specific developmental domains: physical, cognitive, and emotional. Over the next few postings, we’ll take a closer look at what’s required in each case starting with physical readiness.

According to the AAP, in order to actively participate in potty training, children must be physically able to:

• Sense when they need to eliminate
• Delay elimination long enough to get to the potty
• Sit independently on a potty chair

At what age do these skills typically appear? This is an easy question to answer based on the information about the history of potty training I described in my posting last week. If you’ve had a chance to read that entry you may remember the fact that before the invention of the disposable diaper in the early 1960s, children in the United States were routinely trained by 18 months! Is there any reason to suspect that children have changed so radically over the last 50 years that they’ve completely lost these physical abilities? Obviously not! If that was the norm up until the 1960s, then clearly children today are physically ready for potty training well before age 2.

In other words, it’s simply a cop out (as my son would say) to use a lack of “physical readiness” as an excuse to delay potty training until children are 3-years-old.

Stay tuned for discussion of cognitive and emotional “readiness.”

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

A Cat by Any Other Name is Still a Cat…Sort Of

Every once in a while, I use my weekly blog to share stories that have come to us from parents who have enjoyed our Baby Signs® Program, each one illustrating how creatively babies use signs. The following story is another example, this time demonstrating that a baby’s use of signs often provides a window into how smart babies can be.

Sixteen-month-old Sara had learned a sign for CAT that involved stroking the back of one hand and arm with the opposite hand, all the way from finger tips to elbow. She used the sign a lot, her cat “radar” being in evidence as her mom read her books or took her for walks in the neighborhood. It’s amazing how many cats there are in the world once a toddler starts looking for them!

On one occasion, however, it wasn’t a full grown cat that caught her attention. In the local vet’s waiting room was a box with four kittens. These were the first kittens Sara had ever seen, and she was clearly fascinated. As usual, Sara turned to her mom to tell her, with a sign, what was in the box. But it wasn’t the usual CAT sign. Instead of a full swipe from finger tips to elbow, with a smile of wonder on her face, Sara substituted a tiny swipe just the length of her fingers. Her message? Big sign is to big cats as tiny sign is to tiny cats! In formal logic terms, an analogy!

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
and
Co-Founder, The Baby Signs® Program

New Year’s Resolution: Potty Time!

The new year is closing in on us and, if you’re like me, your mind is gravitating toward “New Year’s Resolutions.” (It’s a given that two of mine will be to exercise more and eat less—and this year I mean it!)

But as I let my mind drift back, it returns to a New Years over 20 years ago—1988 to be exact--when my son, Kai, was 2 ½ and I was facing (no, dreading!) the challenge of potty training. I had been asked by my mother-in-law over Christmas why he wasn’t trained yet and I told her he “wasn’t ready” and that my pediatrician had assured me that Kai would let me know when the time was right. But darn it, he seemed perfectly content to let things continue as they were! The problem with this was that I needed to enroll him in a new child care program more convenient to the university where I taught and they wouldn’t let him in unless he was out of diapers.

So, I made a New Year’s Resolution to start in the Spring. Ready or not, here I come—with the potty! By that time he was closing in on 3 and really not interested in wasting time using the potty when he could be playing and just using his diaper as he had been doing for the past 30 months. Problem was that the child care enrollment deadline was looming and he simply had to get trained!

Fortunately, the passage of time has dimmed my memory of the struggles that ensued (and there were struggles)—with one exception. I remember vividly promising the director of the child care center that he was, indeed, trained—and then feigning surprise when they would inform me that he had had an accident again. “Oh, I’m sure it’s the stress of starting a new school,” I lied. I’m not proud of myself for lying to them, but, like many parents before and since, I was desperate!

Since that time I’ve learned a lot about potty training, enough in fact, to feel comfortable creating a whole program designed to make it easier for parent and child alike to get potty training done by age 2. It's called The Baby Signs® Potty Training Program and has been successfully used by thousands of parents. The secret? It includes both step by step instructions for parents and fun things to inspire the little one to get on board with the enterprise. That's what "ready" means, after all--willingness to cooperate.

So, for those of you thinking about Potty Training in 2013, I urge you to do as I say and not as I did some 20 years ago. In other words, climb on board the "potty training" sooner rather than later!
Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
and
Co-Founder, The Baby Signs® Program

Helping Kids Cope with Tragedy

Here we are in what should be a joyous celebration of the holiday seasons with hearts full of good cheer, and instead I find my thoughts returning time and again to the families of the children and teachers who were slaughtered in Connecticut last week. Anyone who has parented a child will find it almost impossible to imagine the horror that has engulfed that community.

My thoughts also, however, turn to the living—to parents all over the country who are wondering how to help their own children deal with what has happened. To this end, in this week’s blog I share some strategies experts have been posting this week. Much of this advice will serve equally well for national tragedies like the current one and scary situations closer to home--like accidents, robberies, fires, or natural disasters.

Let your child’s questions guide the discussion. This is especially true for very young children who may be surprisingly oblivious to what’s going on around them. In fact, sometimes parents are upset that their children are not upset! If you find yourself feeling that way, keep in mind that children’s worlds are very narrow and revolve almost exclusively around what affects them personally. Remember, the last thing you want to do is create anxiety where none exists!

Limit viewing of television coverage. Although it’s natural for adults to want their children to empathize with others’ suffering, resist the impulse to use the heartbreaking coverage of a tragedy to generate such feelings. All you may be creating is fear and sadness that make your child feel helpless. Look instead for ways to foster empathy that involve situations that are easy for a young child to understand--and remedy (e.g., another child is hurt, an animal is cold and hungry, a relative is feeling lonely).

Reassure your child that he/she is safe. This is obviously a very important goal. The term “reassure” is important because it reflects the reality that it is natural for children to be afraid. Don’t dismiss these fears. Listen carefully, let them talk, try to see if they have specific fears or a general anxiety. If there are specific fears—for example, that their classroom is not safe—talk about specific steps the school is taking to ensure their safety. Emphasize the availability of trustworthy adults both at school and at home.

Watch for changes in behavior. Anxiety can reveal itself in many ways besides just words. Be aware of changes in appetite, sleep patterns, acting out, clinging, etc. that seem to coincide with the external situation.

Review safety precautions. Doing so will be reassuring for both of you. Simply knowing the ABCs of what to do and what not to do (and why) will help ease anxiety.

While it’s true that we can’t protect our children forever from the suffering that life can bring, at least we can use steps like these to ease them into reality.


Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
and
Co-Founder, The Baby Signs® Program

Baby Sign Language in Action!

One of my favorite topics for this blog is describing how creative babies are in their use of signs. While it’s true that they use them effectively for routine needs, like more food or drink or being “all done,” these are only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the ways that babies communicate with signs. Here are some stories that illustrate my point.

• Baby Aubrey’s mom wrote to us about how Aubrey used the signs for COLD and OUTSIDE when her mother opened the door to let the dog out and used them again—along with an emphatic shake of the head for NO—when her mom started to put Aubrey’s coat on to leave the house.

• Here’s another story where a dog played a prominent role. Henry’s mom told us how Henry came to her and signed DOG plus DRINK—and sure enough, the dog’s water bowl was empty.

• I particularly like the creativity shown in the following story. The signs for FLY (actually, BUG) and WATER came in handy for a 16-month-old when she wanted to play with a common utensil—the “fly-swatter!”

• And then there’s little Julia who, upon seeing a mom wearing a front pack with her baby’s arms and legs hanging out and head peeping out the top, got a quizzical look on her face and signed TURTLE!

Over the years I’ve learned that many people don’t “get it” about baby sign language until they hear stories like this. What a wonderful way to show people unfamiliar with babies that there truly is “somebody home in there!”

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
and
Co-Founder, The Baby Signs® Program

How Would You Feel If….

Over the years, I’ve learned that challenging a parent’s reaction to his or her child’s behavior is a delicate matter. One strategy that has worked for me is what I call the “How would you feel if…” technique. Essentially, the idea is to describe a situation analogous to the child’s but where the parent is in the spotlight. Here’s an example from my book about emotional development (with Dr. Susan Goodwyn), Baby Hearts, dealing with a parent’s angry and humiliating reaction to his son’s fear of a dog.

Max, the neighbor’s overly friendly Labrador retriever, lopes toward 2-year-old Timmy who quickly takes shelter behind his dad’s leg and begins to cry. His dad, Jim, following in the footsteps of generations of dads with sons, says, “Don’t be such a scaredy-cat. He’s not going to hurt you!” Do those words help? No. In fact, research shows that sympathizing with a child’s fears is an important ingredient in the recipe for creating empathy. Perhaps the next scenario might make that dad react differently.

New York City born and bred, Jim decides to take Timmy and the rest of his family to Idaho for an exciting week on a “Dude Ranch.” While his family is still eating breakfast, Jim wanders out to the corral. As he approaches the gate, it suddenly swings open and a large horse comes bounding out of the gate toward him. Jim jumps back quickly, slips, and finds himself in the dirt looking up as the horse races by, leaving him in a cloud of dust. As Jim lies in the dirt, shocked and shaken, the resident cowboy comes sauntering out and drawls, “Hey, city boy, don’t be such a scaredy -cat. He ain’t gonna hurt you!” Jim pulls himself up and stumbles back to the house--humiliated, angry, and feeling he had every right to be frightened given the horse was so large and unknown to him.

We can only hope that parents like Jim make the connection!

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
and
Co-Founder, The Baby Signs® Program

Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
and
Co-Founder, The Baby Signs® Program

A Sign of Thanks for Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving, my favorite holiday, is just a few days away. I love it because it’s an opportunity to gather with family, eat great food, and say “Thanks” for the many blessings we enjoy—including one another. Here’s a great story about how the ability of a baby to sign made Thanksgiving dinner extra sweet for one family. It comes from a former student of mine, Stella, at UC Davis.

Stella and her parents traveled to Chicago to share Thanksgiving with her sister, brother-in-law, and 3 kids—including 15-month-old Kayla, a graduate of our Baby Signs classes. Once everyone was seated at the table, Stella’s dad said a short grace and stood up to carve the turkey. Suddenly Kayla squealed and began to excitedly sign “apple.” Despite being offered some applesauce, Kayla kept repeating the sign even more determinedly. Finally, seemingly out of frustration, Kayla added a second sign—“Thank you” to her “apple” sign. It was then that her mom figured it out. At dinner time at Kayla’s house, instead of saying grace at the table, the tradition was to hold hands and sing the “Johnny Appleseed” song—the one where you “thank the Lord” for “the sun and the rain and the apple seed.” Kayla clearly felt that her grandfather’s grace wasn’t good enough! Once everyone held hands and sang the song with real gusto, Kayla was satisfied and settled down to eat—no doubt saying a silent “thanks” that she’d finally gotten her message across!

Helping children learn to be truly thankful for the blessings in their lives is a challenge that every parent faces. Teaching the sign for “thank you” (fingertips moving in an arching motion outward from the chin) is a great way to get it started at a remarkably early age. And what better time to start than Thanksgiving!

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
and
Co-Founder, The Baby Signs Program

Troublesome “Tips”

A parent forwarded to me postings from a blog about signing with babies (www.babysignlanguagenow.com) that has been popping up frequently in Google “Alerts.” I’m usually delighted to see increased dissemination of information about the topic; the more parents we can reach the better! In this case, however, the specific advice offered is in so many instances contrary to our own observations here at Baby Signs about what works—as well as contrary to good developmental practice—that I felt it would be important to point out our concerns by highlighting the post entitled “When Baby Signs Back: Factors that Affect.”

Question posed: Why are there individual differences in how long it takes for a baby to start signing back? (“…how long [before] their baby [will] sign back.”)

(1). “Those babies who have better IQ are more likely to learn different signs earlier in life. So, the general rule is the stronger the mental capabilities of your baby are, the earlier he will sign back to you.”

CONCERN: There is no data that supports such an assertion. Nor could there be given all the factors totally unrelated to mental ability that we know contribute: (a) Individual differences in the priority babies have for communicating are really important. For example, some babies would rather climb the bookshelves than read the books. (b) Age: The younger the baby is when you start modeling signs, the longer it will take. (c) How much signing the child sees.

(2). “The earlier you start teaching sign language, the earlier you get results. The recommended age to start teaching baby sign language is 4 months.”

CONCERN: If the question is, as the beginning of the post states, how long before a baby begins signing back, the answer is the younger the baby, the longer it will take. There’s certainly nothing wrong with starting early. However, the chance that a parent will get discouraged and quit is greater. That’s why we suggest between 9 and 12 months.

(3) “The more dedication you show, the more organized your teaching is, the more chances that your baby will learn baby sign language earlier in life.

CONCERN: Although this sounds like our point about the amount of signing a baby sees, the bit about organized teaching implies the importance of specific lesson times. In fact, in another posting, the author calls for “teaching sessions” where you try to “eliminate all the distractions around you” including “random noises and other persons” and rewarding the baby “with food and toys whenever he takes a successful step in the process of learning baby sign language.” In sharp contrast, our 30 years of observation and research indicate that simply incorporating signs into everyday routines and activities with your baby is the best way to go. Regimented lesson times in isolation from others, in fact, can be off-putting and counter-productive—and an excited reaction by Mom or Dad is usually reward enough! You’re not teaching a dog to roll over.

(4) “Whether it is a matter of lack of nutrition or encouragement, anything that hampers the mental development of your baby will also slow down the learning process.”

CONCERN: Of course, anything truly injurious to a child’s physical or psychological welfare will affect the child’s developmental timeline in a wide variety of domains. However, most parents who consult a blog like this already know that nutrition and encouragement are important. And the downside to the statement is the focus, once again, on “mental capabilities.”

This list covers just one of the postings. The others have problems, too--like the advice to “use flash cards to show the babies the proper ways to sign” as if babies could learn from a static image better than a real life demonstration!

After three full decades observing and conducting research on the topic of signing with babies, I feel so passionate about it that I think it’s important to set the record straight when parents are being led astray. The last thing we need is for the movement to get a bad reputation from an influx of really bad advice.

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to visit us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
and
Co-Founder, The Baby Signs® Program