Signing and Child Care: A Wonderful Partnership!

We’re delighted to report that more and more child care centers are becoming “Certified Baby Signs® Centers.” This designation means that their teachers have received formal training in how to incorporate the Baby Signs® Program into their infant and toddler classroom and are dedicated to helping the children in their care enjoy the benefits of enhanced communication at school as well as at home. (Click here to find a Certified Baby Signs® Center in your community.)

We here at Baby Signs, Inc. developed a specific training for child care centers because of research conducted by a former student of ours, Dr. Claire Vallotton, at the UC Davis Center for Child and Family Studies. Her data revealed that signing in the classroom . . .

• reduces frustration and tears, thereby making classrooms more peaceful and children less anxious,
• decreases biting and other aggressive behaviors that occur when children don’t have words,
• builds trust between babies and caregivers because children are confident their needs will be met,
• motivates caregivers to pay closer attention to children and, therefore, to respond to their needs more quickly and more appropriately,
• promotes positive emotional development by enabling children to express emotions and feelings, including empathy,
• provides a universal language so that children and caregivers who don’t speak the same language can still communicate.

Who wouldn’t want their child to be in an environment where all these wonderful benefits are available?

So, if your child care program doesn’t yet use signing in the classroom, by all means encourage the director to visit our website and learn how easy it is to incorporate the Baby Signs® Program into small and large child care settings. Finally, don’t forget that there’s strength in numbers. Find out whether other families with children in your center are also signing at home and work together to make your case. Everyone will benefit!

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

How Would You Feel If. . . .

Once again, I’m detouring from my usual discussion of signing with babies to some parenting advice drawn from my book with Dr. Susan Goodwyn entitled Baby Hearts: A Guide to Giving Your Child an Emotional Head Start.

“I’m so disappointed in you! Go to your room and think about what you did!”

These two sentences are hardly rare. Most parents probably have uttered them at one time or another. However, just because they are typical doesn’t mean they are a good idea! In addition to implying that love will be withdrawn, these messages leave out at least two very important pieces of information: (1) why what the child did wasn’t a good idea, and (2) what should have been done instead. The words succeed in making the child feel bad, but they don’t teach her how to be better in the future.

How would you feel if the same message was addressed to you? Suppose you had just gotten off the phone with a very disagreeable customer whose outrageous accusations caused your own temper to flare. Now suppose your boss, overhearing your end of the conversation, steps into your office and says, “I’m so disappointed in you. Go home and think about what you did.”

Can you see how unhelpful that is? You probably already know that you didn’t handle the situation well; what you don’t know is how you should have handled it: Called on your boss to take the call? Used some stock phrases to placate the customer? Claimed the call was breaking up and disconnected? Thanks to your boss’ choice of words, you still don’t know and may well find yourself in the same situation tomorrow. And to make matters words, you now feel humiliated as well as angry.

Well, guess what? Young children have the same reaction but with even less ability to think about alternative behaviors even if they wanted to! They need alternatives explained calmly and clearly. Keep this in mind the next time you are tempted to send this message—to anyone.

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

Working Parents and Signing

Working parents sometimes ask me whether they can take advantage of the Baby Signs® Program because they are away from their baby for a good part of the day. The answer is a resounding “Yes!”

Even children in full-time care spend significantly more time with their parents than with outsiders. Who is it, after all, who provides the evening meal and bath, cuddles to read a bedtime book, responds to middle-of-the-night calls for help, and spends weekends dealing with every kind of need?

In fact, signing is a real gift to working parents because it makes the time you do spend together even more peaceful and satisfying. For example, signs work great during those hectic early-morning dressing and eating routines and can also be particularly helpful at the end of the day to reduce feelings of frustration that can arise so easily when everyone is tired.

Speaking of being tired, don’t forget that the sign for “sleep/bed” can be a huge help by enabling babies to actually let parents know that they are tired and ready for sleep. Being able to communicate such an important message is a real boon to both parent and child because everyone avoids the chaos that often ensues when a child moved into the overtired realm.

In short, by clarifying your baby’s needs, signs help mealtime, bath time, and bedtime routines, as well as middle-of-the-night encounters, go more smoothly. They help you reconnect and share your experiences after a long day apart and help turn typically stressful times into warm and precious moments. Whether you’re a working parent or not, signs make day-to-day life a lot more fun for everyone.

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

Signing: A Priceless Window into the Infant Mind

Much to my delight, the good news about baby sign language has spread far and wide—especially in contrast to how few people knew anything about it when Dr. Susan Goodwyn and I published our first research article about babies and signing in 1985.

I do find, however, that many parents and child care providers focus almost exclusively on the signs around mealtime—like EAT, DRINK, MILK, MORE, ALL DONE. What a shame! Yes, babies want and need to communicate these things, but many of them are even more interested in communicating about the exciting things they see in the world around them.

Babies want to tell those they love that they see a doggie, a bird, a butterfly, or a truck. They want to request to read a book, blow bubbles, or go outside. Providing babies with signs for these things, as we do in the Baby Signs® Program, gives them a chance to share their worlds with adults—and gives adults an amazing window into the infant mind.

Here’s a story that illustrates just how signing helps babies tell us what’s on their minds. It’s a story that came to us via email from the Netherlands many years ago and is still one of our favorites:

When a man with dreadlocks sat down across from fourteen-month-old Sam and his mother on the bus, Sam turned to her an signed HAT. “Oh honey, I know it looks like a hat, but it’s really hair,” whispered his mother. Sam turned back to the man, stared intently, and very emphatically repeated the HAT sign. Catching on to the situation, the young man invited Sam to feel his dreadlocks for himself. No sooner had Sam’s fingers touched the man’s hair than Sam, his eyes wide with surprise, made the HAIR sign. The message was as clear as if he had spoken the words: “It is hair!”

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

When Signs are Gone but not Forgotten

Do signs stick around once a baby is able to say the words they represent? The answer is “Yup!”—at least for awhile. Think about your own use of signs. Have you completely stopped waving GOOD-BYE just because you have the word? No. You automatically recognize occasions when the sign words better than (or better with) the word. Here are some of the times when babies make the same decision:

To clarify a message. Learning how to say words clearly enough for adults to understand is a real challenge. Baby may know that “tu tu” means “turtle,” but that doesn’t guarantee that Mom does. To deal with this situation, babies often add a sign when they see a confused look on someone’s face. “Ohhhh. You mean TURTLE!”

When mouths are full. A mouth full of food is a real obstacle to intelligible speech, and a baby who really wants “more” goldfish crackers is disinclined to wait to swallow the ones he is already working on! For quite a while after they learn words, therefore, children will naturally revert to signs to speed up service.

For emphasis. Have you ever said “No!” while simultaneously shaking your head back and forth vigorously? Of course you have! Truth is that there are time when words alone simply aren’t strong enough, and babies feel this way too. (This is another case where the sign for “more” provides a good example!)

When words can’t (or shouldn’t) be heard. Sometimes the noise level in a room is just too high to make words effective. For awhile, babies will naturally revert to signs in such situations. On the other hand, sometimes they will spontaneously revert to signs in the opposite situation--when talking is inappropriate—like in church or the library. Smart little Dickens, aren’t they!?

So, just because your baby is starting to say a word, don’t expect the sign to disappear overnight. In fact, keep your eyes open for episodes like this one a colleague of mine reported: About a year after her daughter had stopped using signs in favor of words, her mom saw her tapping her doll’s finger tips together and saying “More, you want more.” Wow!

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

From Sworn Enemies to Bosom Buddies

I’m turning this week from sign language with babies to information drawn from my book with Dr. Susan Goodwyn entitled Baby Hearts: A Guide to Giving Your Child an Emotional Head Start.

It’s not uncommon to hear that violence in the world is inevitable because aggression is built into the human species—that it’s “instinctual”—and, therefore, nothing can be done to change it. A very clever study done way back in 1930 by Z. Y. Kuo provides the perfect retort—and hope for the future.

If there’s one behavior that most of us would agree is instinctual, it’s the tendency for cats to stalk and kill rats. Or is it? Kuo decided to find out. First, he took litters of newborn kittens away from their natural mothers. One-third of these he gave to tried-and-true rat-killing moms to raise. Another third he raised by themselves. And the final third he raised with rats! Then, when the kittens were old enough, he tested to see if they would stalk and kill rats in a natural situation. Here’s what he found.

• The kittens raised with rat-killing moms learned from them, 85 % becoming enthusiastic rat-killers.
• The kittens raised alone split about evenly, with 45% easily persuaded to kill rats.
• But of the kittens raised with rats, only 17% ever killed a rat in all his tests!

What’s the point of all this? Here it is, and it’s important. Even something as arguably instinctual as rat-killing can be changed given the right life history. Create an environment early in life that nurtures love, trust, and familiarity rather than violence and hate, and the result is much more peace and harmony.

So, take Kuo’s results as evidence that the lessons you teach your children about compassion and tolerance are both likely to work and one of the only ways we have to chip away at the violence we see around us.

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

Some “Nos” are Better than Others

This week I’m taking a break from talking about signing with babies to discuss another issue that faces every parent of a toddler: Noncompliance with requests. We all know there are nice ways and not so nice ways to say “no.” Well, how we as parents say it to our children turns out to have an important influence on how children learn to say it too.

Let’s look first at children’s behavior. Turns out there are individual differences in how toddlers express their unwillingness to cooperate. The strategies fall into two different categories, unskilled and skilled.

• Unskilled: The toddler gives no reason for noncompliance. He or she may simply ignore the parent’s request, angrily defy it (“No!”), or quietly refuse (“No, I play more.”)

• Skilled: The toddler tries to find some “wiggle room” in the parent’s request through negotiations of some kind. In this case, he or she may try for a compromise (“Just one more?”) or attempt to justify noncompliance (“Not done yet.”)

How do toddlers come to favor one type of strategy over another? As in many other domains of development, they model themselves after what they experience their parents doing. Parents who supply explanations, suggest compromises, and consider the child’s feelings when asking for cooperation tend to have children who favor the skilled strategies—even if they choose not to comply.

And why is it important which strategy—skilled or unskilled—a toddler favors? Not only do the unskilled strategies make for more tension between parent and child, but research shows that children who tend toward unskilled strategies as toddlers continue to do so at age five—thereby running the risk of permanent damage to the parent-child relationship.

Of course, all parents would prefer that their young children always comply with their requests. That’s hardly realistic, however. What this research suggest is that even when toddlers don’t comply, there well maybe something in the “how” of their behavior that is worthy of appreciation.

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis