When Signs are Gone but not Forgotten

Do signs stick around once a baby is able to say the words they represent? The answer is “Yup!”—at least for awhile. Think about your own use of signs. Have you completely stopped waving GOOD-BYE just because you have the word? No. You automatically recognize occasions when the sign words better than (or better with) the word. Here are some of the times when babies make the same decision:

To clarify a message. Learning how to say words clearly enough for adults to understand is a real challenge. Baby may know that “tu tu” means “turtle,” but that doesn’t guarantee that Mom does. To deal with this situation, babies often add a sign when they see a confused look on someone’s face. “Ohhhh. You mean TURTLE!”

When mouths are full. A mouth full of food is a real obstacle to intelligible speech, and a baby who really wants “more” goldfish crackers is disinclined to wait to swallow the ones he is already working on! For quite a while after they learn words, therefore, children will naturally revert to signs to speed up service.

For emphasis. Have you ever said “No!” while simultaneously shaking your head back and forth vigorously? Of course you have! Truth is that there are time when words alone simply aren’t strong enough, and babies feel this way too. (This is another case where the sign for “more” provides a good example!)

When words can’t (or shouldn’t) be heard. Sometimes the noise level in a room is just too high to make words effective. For awhile, babies will naturally revert to signs in such situations. On the other hand, sometimes they will spontaneously revert to signs in the opposite situation--when talking is inappropriate—like in church or the library. Smart little Dickens, aren’t they!?

So, just because your baby is starting to say a word, don’t expect the sign to disappear overnight. In fact, keep your eyes open for episodes like this one a colleague of mine reported: About a year after her daughter had stopped using signs in favor of words, her mom saw her tapping her doll’s finger tips together and saying “More, you want more.” Wow!

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

From Sworn Enemies to Bosom Buddies

I’m turning this week from sign language with babies to information drawn from my book with Dr. Susan Goodwyn entitled Baby Hearts: A Guide to Giving Your Child an Emotional Head Start.

It’s not uncommon to hear that violence in the world is inevitable because aggression is built into the human species—that it’s “instinctual”—and, therefore, nothing can be done to change it. A very clever study done way back in 1930 by Z. Y. Kuo provides the perfect retort—and hope for the future.

If there’s one behavior that most of us would agree is instinctual, it’s the tendency for cats to stalk and kill rats. Or is it? Kuo decided to find out. First, he took litters of newborn kittens away from their natural mothers. One-third of these he gave to tried-and-true rat-killing moms to raise. Another third he raised by themselves. And the final third he raised with rats! Then, when the kittens were old enough, he tested to see if they would stalk and kill rats in a natural situation. Here’s what he found.

• The kittens raised with rat-killing moms learned from them, 85 % becoming enthusiastic rat-killers.
• The kittens raised alone split about evenly, with 45% easily persuaded to kill rats.
• But of the kittens raised with rats, only 17% ever killed a rat in all his tests!

What’s the point of all this? Here it is, and it’s important. Even something as arguably instinctual as rat-killing can be changed given the right life history. Create an environment early in life that nurtures love, trust, and familiarity rather than violence and hate, and the result is much more peace and harmony.

So, take Kuo’s results as evidence that the lessons you teach your children about compassion and tolerance are both likely to work and one of the only ways we have to chip away at the violence we see around us.

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

Some “Nos” are Better than Others

This week I’m taking a break from talking about signing with babies to discuss another issue that faces every parent of a toddler: Noncompliance with requests. We all know there are nice ways and not so nice ways to say “no.” Well, how we as parents say it to our children turns out to have an important influence on how children learn to say it too.

Let’s look first at children’s behavior. Turns out there are individual differences in how toddlers express their unwillingness to cooperate. The strategies fall into two different categories, unskilled and skilled.

• Unskilled: The toddler gives no reason for noncompliance. He or she may simply ignore the parent’s request, angrily defy it (“No!”), or quietly refuse (“No, I play more.”)

• Skilled: The toddler tries to find some “wiggle room” in the parent’s request through negotiations of some kind. In this case, he or she may try for a compromise (“Just one more?”) or attempt to justify noncompliance (“Not done yet.”)

How do toddlers come to favor one type of strategy over another? As in many other domains of development, they model themselves after what they experience their parents doing. Parents who supply explanations, suggest compromises, and consider the child’s feelings when asking for cooperation tend to have children who favor the skilled strategies—even if they choose not to comply.

And why is it important which strategy—skilled or unskilled—a toddler favors? Not only do the unskilled strategies make for more tension between parent and child, but research shows that children who tend toward unskilled strategies as toddlers continue to do so at age five—thereby running the risk of permanent damage to the parent-child relationship.

Of course, all parents would prefer that their young children always comply with their requests. That’s hardly realistic, however. What this research suggest is that even when toddlers don’t comply, there well maybe something in the “how” of their behavior that is worthy of appreciation.

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

Make Older Sibs Part of the Signing Team

A while back I focused in this blog on the challenges parents face when they upset the family dynamics by adding another baby to the mix. In that regard, it doesn’t come as a surprise that the displaced child is vulnerable to feelings of jealousy and resentment. This week’s message is about how signing has helped ease the tensions of sibling rivalry for many families.

Teaching a baby to sign requires lots of enthusiasm and repetition. “Doggie! [SIGN] See the doggie? [SIGN] What a nice doggie! [SIGN]” The truth is that, especially at first, parents can feel a bit shy about waving their hands around as they ramp up the enthusiasm factor in their voices and faces. In contrast, preschool and school age kids often enjoy acting “silly” and, as a consequence, seldom have a problem providing the energy that makes modeling signs for babies most effective. Because babies love watching their older siblings, these pint-sized teachers do a great job. What’s more. they take great pride in having successfully taught their baby brother or sister a sign. “Watch Mom! She can sign DOG now!”

The obvious benefit here is that the baby learns more signs. But the more subtle benefit is that the older sibling feels an allegiance with the parents as part of the signing “team”—making being older (and wiser) more attractive—and thereby helping offset feelings of jealousy.

So, if you have an older sib available to help teach signs, make it fun. Suggest he/she look for pictures of target objects (e.g., dogs when teaching the DOG sign) in magazines—or even draw them—to post around the house. Soon you’ll see big sister dragging the little one over to the pictures and demonstrating the signs with great gusto. The more the merrier, we always say!

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

A Simple Challenge Saves a Rainy Day

It's a very stormy Monday out here in "sunny" northern California, a situation that put me in mind of a tip to share with housebound families. A month or so ago I wrote about how to provide a new landscape for your crawling baby by putting pillows from the sofa or chairs on the floor. Today I want build on that theme with a tip for toddlers. As is true with crawling, when children first begin to walk, they take great pleasure in the act itself. Rather than always moving to get a toy or reach a door, for the newly walking toddler the simple process of getting from here to there is often enough.

The truth of this observation was brought home to me one rainy day when I was babysitting my 18-month-old twin grandchildren, Nate and Olivia. I was just about out of ideas for entertaining them when I happened to spy a folded up card table in the laundry room. Hmmm…what could I do with that? At first I set it up and draped a sheet over it hoping they would be intrigued by a new “cave” to hide in. No luck. For some reason they were scared to go in. (This idea worked great a few months later.)

Feeling disappointed, I collapsed the card table and just left it (top up) on the floor as I went to let the dog out. When I turned back around, much to my delight, I found Nate and Olivia giggling as they stepped up the 1.5 inches to the top of the table, moved around the top a bit, and then gingerly stepped down again! Now, that might not seem all that exciting to you and me, but to a newly walking child, the challenge of stepping up and down this slight rise without losing one’s balance was a source of great satisfaction—and fun. Believe it or not, that card table kept them occupied for nearly 30 minutes!

Sometimes the simplest pleasures give the greatest joy.

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

Potty Training Success Story—with twins!

As I have made very clear over the past two years, I am the proud Grammy to twins, Nate and Olivia, 2 1/2 last Thanksgiving. In addition, as many of you know, I’m also the proud co-originator (with Dr. Susan Goodwyn) of the Baby Signs® Potty Training Program. The program is designed to help reverse the trend in this country towards later and later potty training—a trend that has resulted in an average age of 37 months and climbing!

Why the trend? Parents these days are busier than ever and universally dread potty training. Any excuse to put it off, therefore, is welcome. Corporate America in the shape of the disposable diaper industry has conveniently provided the means in the form of bigger and bigger diapers, now up to Size 7, big enough for a 6-year-old child!

Not surprisingly, I gave my daughter-in-law, Julie, our Complete Potty Training Kit when the twins were about 15 months old. After a delay of a few months, Julie began just as we suggest, by carefully reading the short instruction book and, since then, has followed the step-by-step advice to a “T.” She had them help her pick out two potty chairs, placed them in the bathroom side by side, and began to talk about using the potty. At the same time, she introduced them to the fun DVD that comes in the kit showing our animated Baby Signs® DiaperDoodle™ characters going through the potty routine using 5 key signs to help them communicate and singing the potty-time songs. They loved the DVD and began to understand what the funny chairs were all about. Over the next months, she followed the instructions to introduce a few routine “potty-sitting” times (e.g., in the morning and before their bath). Sure enough, they occasionally were successful and she made a great “to do” about each occasion.

One important point we make in the book is that parents really need to think through when they can afford the time and energy for the last big push where the focus on potty training is consistent and intense. What with the pressure of two careers and the added challenge of dealing with twins, that time was hard to find—until this past Thanksgiving. Julie was bound and determined to not put it off any longer. So, on Friday, the diapers were “gone” (except for night-time pull-ups), the chart for stickers was posted in the bathroom, the reward jar was ready (yes, candy), and the fun began. Low and behold, all the preparation paid off, and by Monday, both twins were peeing—and pooping!—in the potty with nary an accident since!

The photo above is one I took when I babysat them about a week later (the caption of which could be, "When you're done, Dear, could I see the sports page?"). Talk about cute! Needless to say, I am so proud of all of them!

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

Another Cute Signing Story

Over the past 18 months I’ve frequently shared stories about little Julia, baby daughter of Baby Signs® staff member, Bonita. Julia is now 20 months old and her verbal language is bursting out at an amazing rate. But that doesn’t mean she’s given up signing. In fact, her sign vocabulary also continues to grow, now topping 200, spurred on by the fact that her parents both sign fluently in order to communicate with deaf grandparents.

Everyone at Baby Signs, Inc. is delighted that Julia is continuing to sign because she is an unending source of marvelous signing stories. Here’s the latest one.

A month or so ago, Julia and Bonita traveled from California to Virginia to attend a family event. As they were waiting for a flight in the gate area of the airport, a mom strolled up with her own small baby tucked into a front pack so that mom and baby were chest to chest. Julia was clearly fascinated and began looking intently at the pair with a quizzical expression on her face. Exactly why she was puzzled became clear when she began to sign…TURTLE! Yes, as the baby stretched its head up out of the pack and then down again, it did indeed resemble a turtle pulling its head in and out of its shell!

Because of the sign, Bonita knew exactly what Julia was thinking and was able to say, “Yes, you’re right! It does look like a turtle!” Without the sign, Julia would have had no way to let her mom know what she was thinking—and I wouldn’t have had such a cute story to share!

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis