A Cat by Any Other Name is Still a Cat…Sort Of

Every once in a while, I use my weekly blog to share stories that have come to us from parents who have enjoyed our Baby Signs® Program, each one illustrating how creatively babies use signs. The following story is another example, this time demonstrating that a baby’s use of signs often provides a window into how smart babies can be.

Sixteen-month-old Sara had learned a sign for CAT that involved stroking the back of one hand and arm with the opposite hand, all the way from finger tips to elbow. She used the sign a lot, her cat “radar” being in evidence as her mom read her books or took her for walks in the neighborhood. It’s amazing how many cats there are in the world once a toddler starts looking for them!

On one occasion, however, it wasn’t a full grown cat that caught her attention. In the local vet’s waiting room was a box with four kittens. These were the first kittens Sara had ever seen, and she was clearly fascinated. As usual, Sara turned to her mom to tell her, with a sign, what was in the box. But it wasn’t the usual CAT sign. Instead of a full swipe from finger tips to elbow, with a smile of wonder on her face, Sara substituted a tiny swipe just the length of her fingers. Her message? Big sign is to big cats as tiny sign is to tiny cats! In formal logic terms, an analogy!

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
and
Co-Founder, The Baby Signs® Program

New Year’s Resolution: Potty Time!

The new year is closing in on us and, if you’re like me, your mind is gravitating toward “New Year’s Resolutions.” (It’s a given that two of mine will be to exercise more and eat less—and this year I mean it!)

But as I let my mind drift back, it returns to a New Years over 20 years ago—1988 to be exact--when my son, Kai, was 2 ½ and I was facing (no, dreading!) the challenge of potty training. I had been asked by my mother-in-law over Christmas why he wasn’t trained yet and I told her he “wasn’t ready” and that my pediatrician had assured me that Kai would let me know when the time was right. But darn it, he seemed perfectly content to let things continue as they were! The problem with this was that I needed to enroll him in a new child care program more convenient to the university where I taught and they wouldn’t let him in unless he was out of diapers.

So, I made a New Year’s Resolution to start in the Spring. Ready or not, here I come—with the potty! By that time he was closing in on 3 and really not interested in wasting time using the potty when he could be playing and just using his diaper as he had been doing for the past 30 months. Problem was that the child care enrollment deadline was looming and he simply had to get trained!

Fortunately, the passage of time has dimmed my memory of the struggles that ensued (and there were struggles)—with one exception. I remember vividly promising the director of the child care center that he was, indeed, trained—and then feigning surprise when they would inform me that he had had an accident again. “Oh, I’m sure it’s the stress of starting a new school,” I lied. I’m not proud of myself for lying to them, but, like many parents before and since, I was desperate!

Since that time I’ve learned a lot about potty training, enough in fact, to feel comfortable creating a whole program designed to make it easier for parent and child alike to get potty training done by age 2. It's called The Baby Signs® Potty Training Program and has been successfully used by thousands of parents. The secret? It includes both step by step instructions for parents and fun things to inspire the little one to get on board with the enterprise. That's what "ready" means, after all--willingness to cooperate.

So, for those of you thinking about Potty Training in 2013, I urge you to do as I say and not as I did some 20 years ago. In other words, climb on board the "potty training" sooner rather than later!
Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
and
Co-Founder, The Baby Signs® Program

Helping Kids Cope with Tragedy

Here we are in what should be a joyous celebration of the holiday seasons with hearts full of good cheer, and instead I find my thoughts returning time and again to the families of the children and teachers who were slaughtered in Connecticut last week. Anyone who has parented a child will find it almost impossible to imagine the horror that has engulfed that community.

My thoughts also, however, turn to the living—to parents all over the country who are wondering how to help their own children deal with what has happened. To this end, in this week’s blog I share some strategies experts have been posting this week. Much of this advice will serve equally well for national tragedies like the current one and scary situations closer to home--like accidents, robberies, fires, or natural disasters.

Let your child’s questions guide the discussion. This is especially true for very young children who may be surprisingly oblivious to what’s going on around them. In fact, sometimes parents are upset that their children are not upset! If you find yourself feeling that way, keep in mind that children’s worlds are very narrow and revolve almost exclusively around what affects them personally. Remember, the last thing you want to do is create anxiety where none exists!

Limit viewing of television coverage. Although it’s natural for adults to want their children to empathize with others’ suffering, resist the impulse to use the heartbreaking coverage of a tragedy to generate such feelings. All you may be creating is fear and sadness that make your child feel helpless. Look instead for ways to foster empathy that involve situations that are easy for a young child to understand--and remedy (e.g., another child is hurt, an animal is cold and hungry, a relative is feeling lonely).

Reassure your child that he/she is safe. This is obviously a very important goal. The term “reassure” is important because it reflects the reality that it is natural for children to be afraid. Don’t dismiss these fears. Listen carefully, let them talk, try to see if they have specific fears or a general anxiety. If there are specific fears—for example, that their classroom is not safe—talk about specific steps the school is taking to ensure their safety. Emphasize the availability of trustworthy adults both at school and at home.

Watch for changes in behavior. Anxiety can reveal itself in many ways besides just words. Be aware of changes in appetite, sleep patterns, acting out, clinging, etc. that seem to coincide with the external situation.

Review safety precautions. Doing so will be reassuring for both of you. Simply knowing the ABCs of what to do and what not to do (and why) will help ease anxiety.

While it’s true that we can’t protect our children forever from the suffering that life can bring, at least we can use steps like these to ease them into reality.


Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
and
Co-Founder, The Baby Signs® Program

Tips for Keeping the Holidays Merry

(This week we have a guest author. The comments below were penned by a wonderful member of our Baby Signs staff, Bonita Broughton, as an article for one of our newsletters. Great advice worth sharing.)

A normal part of holiday activities for families includes visiting with friends and family. Many of these visitors are ones seldom seen by us throughout the year. Adults are often thrilled to see these faces and take joy in the experience. Children, however, can respond in a very different manner. For children, this experience can cause stress. They find themselves in unfamiliar places with unfamiliar faces and unfamiliar expectations. Helping your child prepare for holiday gatherings can help ward off some of the frustration that can arise for both parent and child.

Ideas for making gatherings successful:

Photo Time: Take some time prior to the gathering to look through old photos of the people you will be seeing. Try to find pictures which include the child as well. If your child uses signs for specific family members, use the signs to help make the connection between the person and the photo.

The Hand-off: Enthusiastic family members will be excited to see your little one and may immediately reach to take your child. Some children are fine with this and just need you to stay close until they are passed back. Other children will not have such a favorable response. Be prepared to take the lead by saying something like, "He takes a while to warm up, but he really likes for you to give a high-five." If your little one is signing, then you can encourage him with simple signs like GOOD JOB or I LOVE YOU. Don't forget to remind your child of the pictures you looked at and use the sign if appropriate.

It is moving time: One concern can be decorations placed down low. Even for the most well-behaved child, twinkling lights and shiny objects can be a strong temptation! Gently ask the host if you can move the item to a higher location. This can prevent you, your child, and the host a lot of unneeded stress. If it is not something that can be moved, use signs LIKE GENTLE, WAIT, STOP, and THANK YOU to help guide the child's behavior.

It’s in the Bag: With all the hustle and bustle of the season parents often forget to bring items to keep the little one busy. Simple toys, puzzles, and books can give the child a familiar item for comfort and provide some much needed distraction. Bringing a book with easy to sign words can also offer the child a chance to share her signing success with family members and help to get new family members onboard with your signing efforts.

Keep these tips from Bonita in mind as you look enjoy your holiday celebrations and the chance of adding happy memories to your scrapbook will definitely increase.

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
and
Co-Founder, The Baby Signs® Program