To Foster Pride Let Directing Credits Go to Baby

Throughout my years as a researcher at UC Davis, and especially during the years Dr. Susan Goodwyn and I were working on our NIH-funded signing studies, I had the opportunity to watch hundreds of parents playing with their children. One individual difference I noticed, was that some parents were quite “bossy” in terms of dictating what form the play should take.

In fact, we all know parents who over-manage their children, parents who cram their children’s schedules with everything from Acrobats to Zoological Expeditions. What these children lose, according to Dr. Deborah Stipek and her colleagues at UCLA, is not only free time, but also the opportunity to pick their own goals and decide which are worth tackling. It turns out that giving children a chance to choose their own goals is even important for infants and toddlers, especially if parents want their children to develop pride in their accomplishments.

In one of Stipek’s studies in particular, children ages 13 to 39 months were observed playing with their mothers. What the researchers discovered is that when children throughout this age range were allowed to choose their own goals during play, they were much more likely to revel in their own successes. In other words, they would choose the toy they wanted to play with next, or which way the train would face on the train tracks. They showed pride in their accomplishments, calling attention to their success and smiling and clapping for themselves. Children whose mothers were more intrusive, directing their child’s activities toward goals they—rather than their child--had determined, were less likely to display positive emotions and more likely to simply look up at their mothers when they accomplished something (as if to ask, “Did I do okay?”). The difference, of course, is that the children whose mothers were less intrusive weren’t looking to others for validation. In contrast, they appeared to know instantly when they had something to be proud of.

These results support one of the major messages we try to convey to parents in all our Baby Signs® and On the Grow™ classes: It’s important to follow the child’s lead. Thanks to researchers like Deborah Stipek, it’s a matter of fact, not just opinion.

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to visit us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
and
Co-Founder, The Baby Signs® Program

Doll House vs. Fire Station

In this post I’m going to be bringing together a number of different themes (and not signing with babies, for a change) that are salient in research on early child development: Sex differences in choice of toys; the fact that girls learn to talk on average earlier than boys, and the relationship between different types of play and language development. And I’m going to do all this by highlighting a a photo I took last week while taking care of my twin grandchildren, Nate and Olivia.

• First, sex differences in choice of toys: From the time they were old enough to make choices for themselves, it’s been clear (despite efforts from parents and grandparents to the contrary) that Nate was in love with anything with wheels and vroom-vroom noises and Olivia with anything pink, purple, and with the word “princess” or “baby” in the title. In fact, one of the most recent of Olivia’s favorites is a large pink and white plastic doll house complete with pink and white frilly furniture and a pink clad baby. Needless to say, Nate is not equally enchanted.

• Second, sex differences in verbal development: One of the most robust of all differences between boys and girls is the fact that—on average—girls learn to talk earlier than boys. (Note. This is true for learning words, but not signs. No sex difference there.)

• Third, relationship between types of play and verbal development: Dr. Susan Goodwyn and I discovered a number of years ago that pretend play, in contrast to manipulative play (where the child just moves pieces in some way—like shape sorters, hammers and peg boards, puzzles), helps facilitate language development. There are a number of reasons why, but the main one is because pretend play involves so much language itself! The child is thinking and often explaining out loud pieces of some kind of simple plot, either alone or in response to questions from adults. Susan and I suspect that one of the reasons boys lag behind girls in language is because the toys they are typically given (with some exceptions to be sure) are less likely to inspire pretending than the baby dolls, tea sets, and doll houses typically given girls.

So, how do these three observations relate to the photo above? Take a close look at the nature of the toy Nate is playing with. It is, in fact, a miniature structure. But instead of being a typical “doll house” like Olivia’s, it’s a pretend fire station. It has many of the same things Olivia’s does--a kitchen (firefighters have to eat after all), bathroom, bedroom and living area—but it also has a pole to slide down, a treadmill, an elevator, a fire truck, and a heliport! My point is that it has characteristics that Nate, like lots of little boys, value while at the same time promoting the type of play (i.e., pretending) that is so good for language development. And he loves it! I stood and watched him play for a long time and was amazed at the imaginary scenarios he was describing in words, both to himself and in explanation to me.

The lesson in all this is directed at parents and grandparents as they think about appropriate toys. Simply, keep in mind that pretending is critical to both boys and girls and that sex difference in preferences for pretend scenarios are often a fact of life, but that with a bit of creative thinking on our own parts, it’s possible to satisfy both requirements.

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to visit us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
and
Co-Founder, The Baby Signs® Program

Sign Time, Rhyme Time #2

About a month ago I used this blog to post some of the little rhymes that appeared in the first 2 editions of my book with Dr. Susan Goodwyn, Baby Signs: How to Talk with Your Baby Before Your Baby Can Talk. These rhymes, which we created ourselves, were designed so that parents could accompany them with signs, thereby making it fun and easy for their baby to learn them.

Unfortunately, we couldn’t include them in the third and most recent edition of the book, but that doesn’t mean they don’t work. So below are a few more of our favorites.

Farmer in the Dell (can be sung)
The farmer in the dell
The farmer in the dell
Heigh-ho the derry-oh
The farmer in the dell
The farmer reads a book (BOOK)
The farmer reads a book (BOOK)
Heigh-ho the derry-oh
The farmer reads a book. (BOOK)
(Repeat with the following--)
The farmer drives a car (CAR) . . .
The farmer eats a snack (EAT) . . .
The farmer asks for more (MORE) . . .
The farmer buys a bird (BIRD) . . .
The farmer pets a cat (CAT) . . .
Etc….

When the Stars are Out
When the stars are out (STARS)
And the moon is bright—(MOON)
Blow out your candle (CANDLE—Blow finger tip)
And say, “Sleep tight!” (SLEEP)

All Gone
Into the clouds—
All gone plane. (ALL GONE, AIRPLANE)
Into the tunnel—
All gone train (ALL GONE, TRAIN)
Water in the bathtub (WATER)
All gone down the drain! (ALL GONE, DOWN).

As you may have noticed for yourself, it’s not hard to come up with simple rhymes like these—or to add signs to traditional rhymes (e.g., Jack & Jill). So, get creative yourself!

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to visit us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
and
Co-Founder, The Baby Signs® Program