When Signs are Gone but not Forgotten

Do signs stick around once a baby is able to say the words they represent? The answer is “Yup!”—at least for awhile. Think about your own use of signs. Have you completely stopped waving GOOD-BYE just because you have the word? No. You automatically recognize occasions when the sign words better than (or better with) the word. Here are some of the times when babies make the same decision:

To clarify a message. Learning how to say words clearly enough for adults to understand is a real challenge. Baby may know that “tu tu” means “turtle,” but that doesn’t guarantee that Mom does. To deal with this situation, babies often add a sign when they see a confused look on someone’s face. “Ohhhh. You mean TURTLE!”

When mouths are full. A mouth full of food is a real obstacle to intelligible speech, and a baby who really wants “more” goldfish crackers is disinclined to wait to swallow the ones he is already working on! For quite a while after they learn words, therefore, children will naturally revert to signs to speed up service.

For emphasis. Have you ever said “No!” while simultaneously shaking your head back and forth vigorously? Of course you have! Truth is that there are time when words alone simply aren’t strong enough, and babies feel this way too. (This is another case where the sign for “more” provides a good example!)

When words can’t (or shouldn’t) be heard. Sometimes the noise level in a room is just too high to make words effective. For awhile, babies will naturally revert to signs in such situations. On the other hand, sometimes they will spontaneously revert to signs in the opposite situation--when talking is inappropriate—like in church or the library. Smart little Dickens, aren’t they!?

So, just because your baby is starting to say a word, don’t expect the sign to disappear overnight. In fact, keep your eyes open for episodes like this one a colleague of mine reported: About a year after her daughter had stopped using signs in favor of words, her mom saw her tapping her doll’s finger tips together and saying “More, you want more.” Wow!

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

From Sworn Enemies to Bosom Buddies

I’m turning this week from sign language with babies to information drawn from my book with Dr. Susan Goodwyn entitled Baby Hearts: A Guide to Giving Your Child an Emotional Head Start.

It’s not uncommon to hear that violence in the world is inevitable because aggression is built into the human species—that it’s “instinctual”—and, therefore, nothing can be done to change it. A very clever study done way back in 1930 by Z. Y. Kuo provides the perfect retort—and hope for the future.

If there’s one behavior that most of us would agree is instinctual, it’s the tendency for cats to stalk and kill rats. Or is it? Kuo decided to find out. First, he took litters of newborn kittens away from their natural mothers. One-third of these he gave to tried-and-true rat-killing moms to raise. Another third he raised by themselves. And the final third he raised with rats! Then, when the kittens were old enough, he tested to see if they would stalk and kill rats in a natural situation. Here’s what he found.

• The kittens raised with rat-killing moms learned from them, 85 % becoming enthusiastic rat-killers.
• The kittens raised alone split about evenly, with 45% easily persuaded to kill rats.
• But of the kittens raised with rats, only 17% ever killed a rat in all his tests!

What’s the point of all this? Here it is, and it’s important. Even something as arguably instinctual as rat-killing can be changed given the right life history. Create an environment early in life that nurtures love, trust, and familiarity rather than violence and hate, and the result is much more peace and harmony.

So, take Kuo’s results as evidence that the lessons you teach your children about compassion and tolerance are both likely to work and one of the only ways we have to chip away at the violence we see around us.

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

Some “Nos” are Better than Others

This week I’m taking a break from talking about signing with babies to discuss another issue that faces every parent of a toddler: Noncompliance with requests. We all know there are nice ways and not so nice ways to say “no.” Well, how we as parents say it to our children turns out to have an important influence on how children learn to say it too.

Let’s look first at children’s behavior. Turns out there are individual differences in how toddlers express their unwillingness to cooperate. The strategies fall into two different categories, unskilled and skilled.

• Unskilled: The toddler gives no reason for noncompliance. He or she may simply ignore the parent’s request, angrily defy it (“No!”), or quietly refuse (“No, I play more.”)

• Skilled: The toddler tries to find some “wiggle room” in the parent’s request through negotiations of some kind. In this case, he or she may try for a compromise (“Just one more?”) or attempt to justify noncompliance (“Not done yet.”)

How do toddlers come to favor one type of strategy over another? As in many other domains of development, they model themselves after what they experience their parents doing. Parents who supply explanations, suggest compromises, and consider the child’s feelings when asking for cooperation tend to have children who favor the skilled strategies—even if they choose not to comply.

And why is it important which strategy—skilled or unskilled—a toddler favors? Not only do the unskilled strategies make for more tension between parent and child, but research shows that children who tend toward unskilled strategies as toddlers continue to do so at age five—thereby running the risk of permanent damage to the parent-child relationship.

Of course, all parents would prefer that their young children always comply with their requests. That’s hardly realistic, however. What this research suggest is that even when toddlers don’t comply, there well maybe something in the “how” of their behavior that is worthy of appreciation.

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

Make Older Sibs Part of the Signing Team

A while back I focused in this blog on the challenges parents face when they upset the family dynamics by adding another baby to the mix. In that regard, it doesn’t come as a surprise that the displaced child is vulnerable to feelings of jealousy and resentment. This week’s message is about how signing has helped ease the tensions of sibling rivalry for many families.

Teaching a baby to sign requires lots of enthusiasm and repetition. “Doggie! [SIGN] See the doggie? [SIGN] What a nice doggie! [SIGN]” The truth is that, especially at first, parents can feel a bit shy about waving their hands around as they ramp up the enthusiasm factor in their voices and faces. In contrast, preschool and school age kids often enjoy acting “silly” and, as a consequence, seldom have a problem providing the energy that makes modeling signs for babies most effective. Because babies love watching their older siblings, these pint-sized teachers do a great job. What’s more. they take great pride in having successfully taught their baby brother or sister a sign. “Watch Mom! She can sign DOG now!”

The obvious benefit here is that the baby learns more signs. But the more subtle benefit is that the older sibling feels an allegiance with the parents as part of the signing “team”—making being older (and wiser) more attractive—and thereby helping offset feelings of jealousy.

So, if you have an older sib available to help teach signs, make it fun. Suggest he/she look for pictures of target objects (e.g., dogs when teaching the DOG sign) in magazines—or even draw them—to post around the house. Soon you’ll see big sister dragging the little one over to the pictures and demonstrating the signs with great gusto. The more the merrier, we always say!

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

A Simple Challenge Saves a Rainy Day

It's a very stormy Monday out here in "sunny" northern California, a situation that put me in mind of a tip to share with housebound families. A month or so ago I wrote about how to provide a new landscape for your crawling baby by putting pillows from the sofa or chairs on the floor. Today I want build on that theme with a tip for toddlers. As is true with crawling, when children first begin to walk, they take great pleasure in the act itself. Rather than always moving to get a toy or reach a door, for the newly walking toddler the simple process of getting from here to there is often enough.

The truth of this observation was brought home to me one rainy day when I was babysitting my 18-month-old twin grandchildren, Nate and Olivia. I was just about out of ideas for entertaining them when I happened to spy a folded up card table in the laundry room. Hmmm…what could I do with that? At first I set it up and draped a sheet over it hoping they would be intrigued by a new “cave” to hide in. No luck. For some reason they were scared to go in. (This idea worked great a few months later.)

Feeling disappointed, I collapsed the card table and just left it (top up) on the floor as I went to let the dog out. When I turned back around, much to my delight, I found Nate and Olivia giggling as they stepped up the 1.5 inches to the top of the table, moved around the top a bit, and then gingerly stepped down again! Now, that might not seem all that exciting to you and me, but to a newly walking child, the challenge of stepping up and down this slight rise without losing one’s balance was a source of great satisfaction—and fun. Believe it or not, that card table kept them occupied for nearly 30 minutes!

Sometimes the simplest pleasures give the greatest joy.

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

Potty Training Success Story—with twins!

As I have made very clear over the past two years, I am the proud Grammy to twins, Nate and Olivia, 2 1/2 last Thanksgiving. In addition, as many of you know, I’m also the proud co-originator (with Dr. Susan Goodwyn) of the Baby Signs® Potty Training Program. The program is designed to help reverse the trend in this country towards later and later potty training—a trend that has resulted in an average age of 37 months and climbing!

Why the trend? Parents these days are busier than ever and universally dread potty training. Any excuse to put it off, therefore, is welcome. Corporate America in the shape of the disposable diaper industry has conveniently provided the means in the form of bigger and bigger diapers, now up to Size 7, big enough for a 6-year-old child!

Not surprisingly, I gave my daughter-in-law, Julie, our Complete Potty Training Kit when the twins were about 15 months old. After a delay of a few months, Julie began just as we suggest, by carefully reading the short instruction book and, since then, has followed the step-by-step advice to a “T.” She had them help her pick out two potty chairs, placed them in the bathroom side by side, and began to talk about using the potty. At the same time, she introduced them to the fun DVD that comes in the kit showing our animated Baby Signs® DiaperDoodle™ characters going through the potty routine using 5 key signs to help them communicate and singing the potty-time songs. They loved the DVD and began to understand what the funny chairs were all about. Over the next months, she followed the instructions to introduce a few routine “potty-sitting” times (e.g., in the morning and before their bath). Sure enough, they occasionally were successful and she made a great “to do” about each occasion.

One important point we make in the book is that parents really need to think through when they can afford the time and energy for the last big push where the focus on potty training is consistent and intense. What with the pressure of two careers and the added challenge of dealing with twins, that time was hard to find—until this past Thanksgiving. Julie was bound and determined to not put it off any longer. So, on Friday, the diapers were “gone” (except for night-time pull-ups), the chart for stickers was posted in the bathroom, the reward jar was ready (yes, candy), and the fun began. Low and behold, all the preparation paid off, and by Monday, both twins were peeing—and pooping!—in the potty with nary an accident since!

The photo above is one I took when I babysat them about a week later (the caption of which could be, "When you're done, Dear, could I see the sports page?"). Talk about cute! Needless to say, I am so proud of all of them!

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

Another Cute Signing Story

Over the past 18 months I’ve frequently shared stories about little Julia, baby daughter of Baby Signs® staff member, Bonita. Julia is now 20 months old and her verbal language is bursting out at an amazing rate. But that doesn’t mean she’s given up signing. In fact, her sign vocabulary also continues to grow, now topping 200, spurred on by the fact that her parents both sign fluently in order to communicate with deaf grandparents.

Everyone at Baby Signs, Inc. is delighted that Julia is continuing to sign because she is an unending source of marvelous signing stories. Here’s the latest one.

A month or so ago, Julia and Bonita traveled from California to Virginia to attend a family event. As they were waiting for a flight in the gate area of the airport, a mom strolled up with her own small baby tucked into a front pack so that mom and baby were chest to chest. Julia was clearly fascinated and began looking intently at the pair with a quizzical expression on her face. Exactly why she was puzzled became clear when she began to sign…TURTLE! Yes, as the baby stretched its head up out of the pack and then down again, it did indeed resemble a turtle pulling its head in and out of its shell!

Because of the sign, Bonita knew exactly what Julia was thinking and was able to say, “Yes, you’re right! It does look like a turtle!” Without the sign, Julia would have had no way to let her mom know what she was thinking—and I wouldn’t have had such a cute story to share!

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

Beware: Conformity Starts Early!

I just read an interesting research article in the latest issue of the professional journal, Child Development. Because it has lessons for parents, I’m going to digress from talking about signing with babies and share it with you.

We all know how vulnerable teenagers are to peer pressure, but did you know that preschoolers are too? I don’t mean here the tendency for 3- and 4-year-olds to begin mimicking their playmates during play—one child imitating another child who has started to twirl around or act like a monkey. That’s just fun and has no important implications. The conformity at issue here is more insidious and has to do with agreeing publicly with an opinion expressed by others when the truth is that one’s own opinion is very different--in other words, hiding one’s own beliefs because they clash with one’s peers’ beliefs.

It turns out that 4-year-olds are vulnerable to this kind of peer pressure. How did the researchers discover this truth? In a very clever way. They sat groups of 4 children in cubbies arranged so that they couldn’t see each other but could hear each other answer questions posed by the “teacher.” The questions referred to specially designed picture books the children were given. The left page of each 2-page spread in the book showed three drawings of an animal (say a tiger) that were identical except for size. One was big (the “daddy” tiger), one was middle-sized (the “mommy” tiger) and one was small (the “baby” tiger). The right page of each spread showed one of these three versions and the child’s task was to tell the teacher which one it was: the daddy, mommy, or baby. The trick here was the fact that three of the children held copies of the same book while one child (who was always asked last) had a different book designed so the correct answer would clash with what the other children said. What they found was that the children—not always, but about a third of the time—would agree with what the other three kids had said even though they knew that answer to be wrong for their book.

Reading the results of this study brought back a real life example involving my son when he was about 3 ½ and had just started nursery school (see photo above). Up until that point his playmates of convenience happened to always be girls, a fact which bothered him not at all. Then, one day a month or into the school year, I noticed that he had colored every picture in a coloring book save one: a single girl swinging on a swing. “Kai, why didn’t you color this one?” His answer: “Because boys don’t play with girls.” When I next observed the playground at the school, I saw that this was in fact true there—the girls played with girls and the boys with boys. Interestingly, however, when he was at home and not where his male peers could see (and no doubt judge him), Kai continued to play very happily with the same girls he always had.

Why is this significant? It’s bad enough when it’s a gender issue, but substitute not playing with children of contrasting ethnicities and you can see how easily and at what young ages prejudices get started.

So, fellow parents, as we look forward to a new year, what I’m hoping is that “forewarned is forearmed” as the saying goes. In other words, knowing that even preschoolers are vulnerable to peer pressure can motivate you to begin even earlier to help your child understand the importance of thinking for oneself.

Happy New Year (and don't forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

“Signs” of the Holidays!

What the holidays mean for many of us is the opportunity to get together with family and friends to reminisce about times past and to make good memories for the future. In many families these celebrations are made even sweeter by the addition of babies and toddlers who still have stars in their eyes when they see holiday sights or hear holiday sounds. Seeing their joy can make even the most reluctant “Scrooge” smile.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if these special little people could tell us more about what they are thinking—what is fascinating them as they gaze at a decorated tree or blazing candle? Well now they can! The secret is one that more and more families are discovering: helping babies and toddlers communicate using simple signs. In fact, around this time of year we hear wonderful stories of how children who can’t yet talk are still able to tell their parents what they see, what they hear, and even what they feel as they encounter holiday symbols. Here’s a brand new one from staff member, Bonita, about her 19-month-old daughter Julia (see photos).

Julia and Bonita had just returned from a brief visit to Grandma’s house in Virginia. That evening when Dad came home, Julia took his hand and led him over to the Christmas tree and pointed to a new ornament. Dad asked her where it had come from and Julia responded using signs: GRANDMA + TREE + ONE+ HOME. “Oh!” responded Dad. “Grandma let you pick one from her tree to bring home?” to which Julia proudly said loud and clear,“Yup!” Without the signs, Dad would never have understood why the ornament was special!

Here are a few more holiday examples from our Baby Signs® files:

• 13-month-old Jared was mesmerized when his father first plugged in the string of lights wound around the Christmas tree, immediately opening and closing his fist (his sign for “light”) over and over as he grinned from ear to ear. For the next 3 weeks, as soon as he woke up in the morning, he would eagerly sign “light,” clearly sending the message that he remembered what was in the living room.

• 15-month-old Maddy had been pretty leery of the bearded man in the bright red suit inviting her to sit on his lap in the department store and had cried until her mother sat with her. From then on, whenever she saw a picture of Santa Claus she would rapidly pat her chest (her sign for “afraid”) and then move her open hands up and down her chest (her sign for “clothes”). Why “clothes?” Maddy’s mom quickly figured it out: “Clothes” was as close to “Claus” as Maddy could get!

• Ever since his first birthday, 16-month-old Jacob had been fascinated with candles and had quickly learned the “candle” sign: blowing on a raised index finger. That’s why his parents weren’t surprised at Jacob’s attraction to menorahs, the 9-branched candelabrum used during the Jewish holiday, Chanukah. What did surprise them, though, was Jacob’s creativity. Instead of raising a single finger when he saw a menorah, Jacob quite deliberately would raise his whole hand with fingers spread, blowing on each in turn!

With simple signs, these babies, and thousands like them, are making sweet, new holiday memories for their families. What’s more, the wonderful thing is that it’s so easy. Just as babies learn to wave bye-bye and shake their heads for no and nod for yes, they can easily learn lots of other signs to help them share what they’re thinking with those they love. And, the truth is, what better holiday present could parents receive then a priceless window into their baby’s mind and heart?

Happy Holidays and Happy Signing (and don't forget to visit us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

Stranger Anxiety: A Holiday Hazard

Some of my most enduring memories of Christmas with my own children were the annual visits with Santa. Born in the fall and still babes-in-arms by Christmas, their first experiences with Santa were uneventful. Things had changed dramatically, however, by Christmas #2--when the kids were about 15 months old. They would have nothing to do with the jolly old man! I was disappointed but hardly surprised. They were both at that second Christmas at the height of what is called “Stranger Anxiety.”

As I reflect back some 25 years to those early experiences with kids and Santa, it got me thinking again about Stranger Anxiety as a developmental phenomenon that kids of any generation go through. It may be easy to deal with Santa by simply avoiding him, but it’s not so easy to deal with the anxiety that arises when new relatives visit during the holidays or when a new caregiver is introduced. To refresh my memory of how to deal with Stranger Anxiety, I got down a copy of the book I co-authored with Dr. Susan Goodwyn, Baby Hearts: A Guide to Giving Your Child an Emotional Head Start, looked the term up in the index and, sure enough, found a list of tips that can help.

Insist that people approach slowly and smoothly. Strangers, no matter how well intentioned, who swoop into a young child’s space end up overwhelming his/her with feelings of vulnerability. Because feeling overwhelmed is the exact opposite of feeling in control, the result is fear.

Provide a prop. Providing the stranger with your child’s favorite toy or an attractive new toy is another helpful ploy because it works to distract the child from the newness of the visitor and defines him or her as having something positive to contribute.

Teach the stranger favorite signs. If your child is using signs from our Baby Signs® Program, as we fervently hope is the case, prepare the stranger ahead of time by teaching him or her a few of your child’s current favorites. We all feel safer with people who share our language!

Enthusiastically introduce the stranger. Get into the habit of introducing people to your child with expressions of sincere delight. This may sound odd if your baby is very young, but even by 4 months babies are sensitive to facial expressions and tone of voice—and by 10 months they are purposefully monitoring these emotional cues to judge what their own reaction should be.

Be patient and understanding! Stranger anxiety is a normal part of development and actually indicates the onset of important advances in intelligence and memory. It means that children are truly thinking about what’s happening, comparing faces with those they remember, and figuring out how to regulate their own emotions—in this case by avoiding the stranger. If you can think of Stranger Anxiety as a manifestation of progress in your child’s development, it will be easier to be patient.

Stranger Anxiety is one of the earliest and most universal forms of fear that young children experience. If you're interested in what some other common fears are and tips for dealing with them, check out Chapter 7 of our book, Baby Hearts, “Monsters and Meanies: Addressing Fear and Anxiety.”

Happy Holidays (and don't forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda
Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

An Easy “Landscape” for Your Crawler

Most readers of this blog know me from my book Baby Signs with Dr. Susan Goodwyn. Fewer of you may know that the two of us have written two other books for parents, Baby Minds (about how parents can support intellectual development from Birth to 3) and Baby Hearts (the same for emotional development). The following builds on tips from Baby Minds.

It’s usually between 8 and 12 months that babies begin to move themselves around—crawling excitedly from here to there and back again. This is really the stage of “Baby on the move!” Their motivation, though, comes not just from the ability to reach an object or gain a new viewpoint on the world around them. They also really enjoy the process itself—the challenge of making their bodies move the way they want them to—and the challenge of getting better and better and faster and faster at doing so. In adult terms, they take great pleasure in the trip itself, not just the destination.

And here’s an easy and safe way to make crawling even more fun—as well as more challenging. Simply put three or four sofa or chair pillows on the floor for your baby to climb up, down, and around. Make sure they are not too tall and relatively firm (rather than squishy soft) so that your baby can move on them fairly easily. You might even create tunnels by draping light weight fabric across two piles of pillows or over a low table or between two chairs. Of course, it goes without saying that you should always remain close enough to supervise.

What a great way to provide a new “landscape” for your baby to explore—one that’s available even on the rainiest, snowiest days!

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

How One Child Started a World-Wide Movement!

Not too long ago I did an interview with a PARENTS Magazine writer about the origins of the baby sign language movement. She was surprised to hear what a personal story it was. That made me realize that others might be similarly interested in how it all got started. So here goes!

Most everyone reading this blog is familiar with our company, Baby Signs, Inc. and the fact that we produce signing resources for families. Many of you also know that we have a network of instructors who teach our Baby Signs® workshops and classes. (By the way, there’s a rumor going around via social media that we have a “multi-level” sales model. Not true! It’s just the those of us here at the Home Office in Vacaville , CA and our dedicated team of nearly 900 Baby Signs® Independent Certified Instructors, each one only answerable to his/herself.)

What many of you may not know is that the Baby Signs idea started on one specific day in 1982 when one individual baby (my 12-month-old daughter--see photo above) made up a sign for “flower.” We were out in the garden when she pointed across the yard to a rose bush, turned to me, and sniffed repeatedly. Now, as I’m fond of saying, it doesn’t take a nuclear scientist to understand what she was trying to convey! I said, “Oh do you want to see the flowers?” and took her over to smell them. What I then noticed was that she continued to use the same sniffing gesture all day to label flowers wherever she saw them—on the wall paper, her pajamas, the dining table—and that night I wrote in my journal that she had “done the cutest thing today.”

After that I started watching her more closely and noticed her making up other “signs”—like blowing for “hot” and rubbing index fingers together for “spider” (from “Itsy Bitsy Spider”). I told my colleague and best friend Susan Goodwyn about what she was doing and together we began modeling other common sense signs for things and recording both her signing behavior and her verbal development. All this data gathering resulted in our first academic journal article in 1985 (it takes a long time to get things published!): “Symbolic gesturing in language development: A case study. Human Development, 28, 40-49. (This article, as well as many of our other pivotal research reports, is available in its entirety on our website (www.babysigns.com). Just click on PARENTS and then RESEARCH.)

That was the beginning of Susan’s and my 25 years of research on the subject of signing with babies, culminating in a longitudinal study, supported by the National Institutes of Health, of the effects of signing on verbal development. With the positive results of this study in hand, we finally went public in 1996 with the first edition of Baby Signs: How to Talk With Your Baby Before Your Baby Can Talk and the avalanche of other books and programs began. Believe it or not, if you search amazon.com for “baby sign language books” today, you’ll get 561 entries!

Who said a single child can’t change the world?!

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

Teaching Kids to Say "Thanks"

Thanksgiving is a wonderful time for us to focus on the many things for which we should be grateful—from obvious things like food to eat and a warm bed at night to the little, more subtle things like birds flocking to the bird feeder or a sunny day for a winter outing. The nice thing about Thanksgiving is that the specific focus on gratitude on this particular day makes it more likely that even very young children will “sit up and pay attention.”

However, I think we all can agree that feeling grateful and expressing gratitude shouldn’t be just a one-day-a-year thing. The more difficult challenge, therefore, is how to help children understand that these behaviors are important every day. It’s an important goal because research shows that kids who feel and act grateful tend to be less materialistic, get better grades, set higher goals, complain of fewer headaches and stomach aches and feel more satisfied with their friends, families and schools than those who don't.

That’s why I was so glad to see a list of tips for how to foster gratitude in children included in an article prepared under the banner of the child-advocacy organization, Zero to Three. Here’s link: http://www.zerotothree.org/child-development/social-emotional-development/raising-a-thankful-child.html .

One thing that we here at Baby Signs can add to the list for the littlest ones is teaching the sign for “Thank You” (place fingertips on chin and make arching movement outward). It’s amazing how early and easily signing toddlers pick up this important concept!


Happy Thanksgiving to one and all! (And don't forget to follow us on Facebook!)

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs Program
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

Birth of the Green-Eyed Monster

In last week’s blog posting, veering a long way from baby sign language, I talked about why it’s understandable that an older sibling might be jealous of the addition of a new baby to the family. This week I want to turn the tables a bit and ask, “What about the baby?”. Won’t there come a point when the baby begins to resent having to share Mommy with the older child? In other words, when does the traditional green-eyed monster called jealousy appear on the scene?

One answer comes from a clever study by developmental researchers Sybil Hart, Tiffany Field, Claudia Del Valle, and March Letourneau that tested 12-month-old babies under two conditions. In one, moms were asked to ignore their children while looking through a picture book. In the other, still ignoring their babies, moms were given a life-size baby doll to cuddle. If simply being ignored is what annoys babies this age, then both situations should be equally upsetting. But that’s not what happened. Instead, these year-old children were significantly more distressed about the doll than the book, suggesting that they specifically resented seeing another “baby” get the cozy comfort of Mommy’s lap.

Looks like sibling rivalry is a two-way street from pretty early on!

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

So, A New Baby is On the Way!

Bear with me as I stray once again from baby sign language and talk about a different parenting issue that many young families face. It’s one that Susan Goodwyn and I address in our book, Baby Hearts.

So, you’re expecting another baby! Wonderful! But creeping into your thoughts at the good news is concern over how the upcoming blessed event will be received by your older child whose place as “Baby” is being usurped.

Although most second-time parents are aware that there may be jealousy, many also assume that reassurances about “enough love for both” should solve the problem. The fact that it doesn’t may actually strike some parents as unreasonable and selfish.

It was in response to such attitudes that A. Faber and E. Mazlich, authors of Siblings without Rivalry, came up with a role-playing strategy that I love and have adapted a bit to share with you below. They suggested that parents put themselves in the shoes of the wife in the following scenario:

HUSBAND: I’ve got a wonderful surprise for you! Now, you know I love you very, very much, honey, don’t you? And you know you’ve brought great joy into my life, right?

WIFE: I love you too!

HUSBAND: Well, here’s the surprise. I’ve enjoyed having my own little wife so much that I thought it would be nice for all of us to have another wife in the family! Won’t that be wonderful?

WIFE: What?!

HUSBAND: Just think about it. You’ll have another wife to play with and maybe even share your room with. And because you’re such a good wife and know so much more than she will about everything, you can help me take care of her. The three of us can go on walks together and read books together…and everything! We’ll all be one, big happy family! Won’t that be fun?

WIFE: Hmph!

Now, don’t you have more sympathy than before for kids who are getting this “wonderful” news? It’s natural for them to be upset and it will take time, love, and plenty of patience to to bring them around. (TIP: Some of you may be lucky enough to find a Baby Signs instructor offering our "Sibling Class" in your area. Visit www.babysigns.com and click on "Find a Class.")

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
g rivalry

Lots to Cheer About in the Latest AAP Recommendations about TV

Once again the news is full of reports about a statement from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) about TV and children under 2. To find out exactly what the new policy statement says, I bypassed reporters’ interpretations and went straight to the AAP article itself in the latest issue of the journal Pediatrics. What I found there is actually very good news for the Baby Signs® Program in regard to our hugely popular and very effective signing DVDs.

POINT 1: The AAP’s is not banning the use of video programming for children under 2, only urging parents to be cautious about amount and selective about content.

“The AAP realizes that media exposure is a reality for many families in today’s society. If parents choose to engage their young children with electronic media, they should have concrete strategies to manage it…. It is important to set limits and create balance at an early age” (p. 4).

In regard to the need for caution, they make the excellent point that “screen-based” programming (including computers, smart phones, etc.) can be addicting at any age and that it’s up to parents to see that their kids are not losing out on other important experiences like interactions with parents and sibs, being read to, and playing independently.

POINT 2: Much of what is advertized as “educational” for this age group really is not. A main point here is that children under 2 can’t process information very well and, therefore, “are more likely to learn from a live presentation than from a televised one” (p. 2). But here’s the good news for our DVDs. They do cite an exception from the research literature—a 2007 study published in the journal Developmental Psychobiology showing that 12 to 21 month old children were just as likely to imitate specific actions demonstrated via videotape (versus demonstrated by a live person) when “the screen demonstration repeats several times” (AAP, p. 2).”

Hmm… actions that are repeated. Sound familiar? That’s exactly what our signing DVDs do in spades! They aren’t trying to teach abstract concepts like numbers or letters. They demonstrate specific actions (signs) not just several times but many times. So, not only do we know from our own and hundreds of parental reports that our DVDs teach signs, but the AAP provides an independent research foundation for that conclusion.

And don’t forget the fact that being able to sign has been proven (through our federally-funded research) to promote language and cognitive development as well as enrich parent-child interactions. So, if any video programming can be justifiably called “educational,” it’s ours!

CONCLUSION. In my opinion, the AAP is doing a service by warning parents about the potential negative effects of unregulated “screen” time and unsubstantiated claims of material being “educational.” But that’s only part of the story. They are also providing support for our position that if parents need a bit of time to fix dinner, fold the laundry, or even just relax, they can feel very comfortable choosing a Baby Signs® DVD to entertain and educate their baby!

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

Take Advantage of Halloween!

Although it’s hard to believe given that it feels like yesterday was Easter, Halloween is just around the corner. If you’re like my step-son and daughter-in-law, you’re as excited by the chance to dress up your little ones as they are! Nate, now 2 ½ , is going to be Buzz Lightyear and his twin sister Olivia is going to be Ariel from "The Little Mermaid." As the photos show, Grammy and Papa got a preview last night. What's more, there’s no doubt that, come next Monday night, the video camera will come out to record the festivities.

Which brings me to one of my favorite parenting tips. The development of good memory skills is critical to all aspects of learning. In fact, that’s what “learning “is all about—the ability to remember facts, ideas, and skills encountered in the past. Research has shown that parents contribute mightily to how early and easily children begin to hone their memory skills.

Here’s an easy and enjoyable way to support your child’s progress in this critical area. Make use of your family video footage! Whether it’s Halloween, a birthday, or just a precious moment at home, don’t just leave these recordings on the shelf to enjoy years later. Instead, watch them with your child right away. By watching video footage of special events in your child’s life soon after the recordings are made, you are providing a platform for conversations with your child about the past and providing images he or she can use to reconstruct events. It’s just such conversations with parents about the past that research shows help children begin to tie their own memories into cohesive wholes. Besides, it’s lots of fun! Every child enjoys seeing him or herself on the screen.

So, break out the popcorn, enjoy a fun time at the movies with your child, and delight in the fact that you’re helping your child hone memory skills that will serve him or her well for years to come.

Just a simple tip to make supporting your child’s intellectual development a bit easier and more fun!

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

Why Children’s Fears Increase in the 2nd Year

Although signing with babies is my passion, I also enjoy sharing other insights about development. Here's an example from Baby Hearts, my book co-authored with Dr. Susan Goodwyn.

Along with cake and ice cream, a child’s first birthday brings with it a not so nice gift – a significant increase in the number of things that make a child afraid. Why the increase in fear after the first birthday? Much of the responsibility can be traced to changes in the child’s mental skills. Unfortunately, however, these changes aren’t balanced by nearly enough knowledge of how the world actually works! The result is fear of things that you and I know from experience aren’t likely to happen – like getting sucked up by vacuum cleaners or flushed down the toilet. We may know the laws of mechanics that make such things impossible, but our toddlers and preschoolers clearly don’t! Here are some of the other reasons why the list of fears inevitably grows longer between years 1 and 5:

• The wonderful – and not so wonderful – world of imagination. Towards the middle of the second year, the toddler brain begins to be able to do something that sets humans apart from other animals – create ideas and images that have little if any basis in reality and then ponder those ideas and images at will. This is a fancy way to say that children begin to use their imaginations. The good news is that this ability enables them to have fun pretending to be firemen or ballerinas; the bad news is that this same ability enables them to imagine bogey men and monsters.

• What’s Real and What’s Not? Toddlers face a particularly interesting challenge when it comes to distinguishing fantasy from reality. Their new awareness of their own thoughts and dreams doesn’t come with an automatic recognition that these are “all in the head.” Ask your toddler if you’d be able to watch his dream if you came into his room while he was dreaming and he’s likely to say “yes.” Very young children think of their dreams as taking place in real time and space, which is one reason they find nightmares so up-setting and can’t dismiss the image in their head of that same monster under the bed.

• Down Memory Lane. Very young infants live by necessity “in the here and now.” The downside of this is that they don’t get to relive the happy moments of their short lives – the delightful games of tickle, the warm and snuggly moments in mom’s arms, the giddy back and forth of their swing. The upside, however, is that very young infants also can’t remember the scary moments. Unfortunately, toddlers and preschoolers, due to much improved memory capacities, definitely can! This means that a single harrowing experience with a dog, clown, or merry-go-round can haunt them for days, weeks, months, or even years to come.

• A Different Perspective. It also doesn’t help matters that toddlers are so little. To them, the barking Labrador Retriever isn’t just a dog; it’s a dog the size of a horse! And the room full of strange relatives doesn’t just have lots of new folks in it; it’s full of people who tower over the child. Weaving through all the legs – even holding on to Mommy’s hand – is an intimidating journey!

• On the Go. One final reason toddlers and preschoolers are more vulnerable than infants to developing fears is the simple fact that they get around better! Not much scary can happen when you’re confined to a highchair or crib, but let your world expand to include the yard, the park, and the neighborhood, and the chances of encountering something unexpected and scary increase markedly.

The good news is that knowing signs can help toddlers communicate their fears to the adults around them. The AFRAID sign is the most obvious, but not the only candidate. For example, when AFRAID is paired with the sign for DOG the message is clear: that four-legged thing ain’t no friend of mine!

I actually speak from experience on this point. One night when my son Kai was about 15 months old, he suddenly began screaming when I tried to put him in his bed. I was nonplussed – until Kai did the sign for SPIDER. Then I remembered. That morning when I had lifted him out of bed, a big black spider had landed on his arm and he’d been both startled and upset. I had forgotten all about the incident – but he clearly hadn’t. The good news was that thanks to the sign, I knew what the problem was and together we looked through all the bedclothes. Finding no spider, Kai was reassured and settled down to sleep. (The bad news is that, even at age 25, Kai is still phobic about spiders!)

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

Lay a Foundation for Reading with the "Odd-One-Out" Game

While it’s true that more and more information is available these days in audio and video form, reading is still an immense part of how we all—including children—learn about the world around us. That’s why it’s important to help kids in any way we can to conquer this essential skill. As I’ve mentioned before in these tips, one important pre-reading skill that’s easy and fun to work on is “Phonemic Awareness.” What this fancy term refers to is the simple recognition that words are made up of separate sounds—for example, the word CAT is made up of the separate sounds “C + A+T. Because the job of letters is to represent these separate sounds, being able to recognize that words are divisible in this way is obviously an important component of learning to read.

In a previous tip I talked about how introducing children to rhyming words through nursery rhymes and poems is an easy way to help them develop this awareness. Here’s why. Words rhyme precisely because they share their ending sounds but not their beginning sounds and poems help make these words and their sound similarities and differences stand out so children are more likely to notice. For example, hearing the words HILL and MILL in close proximity draws attention to the fact that they begin differently but end the same.

Here’s a simple game you can play with your 3- to 5-year-old to take advantage of the power of rhyming to promote phonemic awareness. It’s a form of what we call an “odd-one-out” game in which you say three words, only two of which rhyme, and ask your child “Which one doesn’t belong.” For example, you might say “Cat, Hat, Dog” where the one that doesn’t belong is “Dog.” Or “Juice, Boat, Goat,” where the one that doesn’t belong is the first word, “Shoe.” After a while, your child may even be able to reverse roles and give you the list of words to decide the “odd-one-out.”

This is a great game to play anywhere--while riding in the car, standing in line at the grocery store, or waiting at a restaurant for your food to arrive. And each time you play it, you can enjoy the fact that you’re not only having fun, but also providing practice that will help your child develop the important pre-reading skill of phonemic awareness.

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

Surprise! 3-Month-Old “Problem Solvers”

Did you know that many of our Baby Signs® Instructors are also On the Grow™ Educators? That means they are certified to teach classes from our Birth to Five “On the Grow™” curriculum. One of those classes—my personal favorite—is called “Baby Minds” and is designed to help parents of infants younger than 6 months realize that babies are a lot smarter than they look. (Many of the activities are taken from Susan's and my book, Baby Minds: Brain-Building Games Your Baby Will Love.)

For example, research shows that babies come into this world not only capable of solving problems but eager to do so. They want to figure things out. And here’s an easy way to provide your baby with just such an opportunity as early as 2-3 months.

If you’re like most new parents, you have mounted a mobile on your baby’s crib so she has something to watch move while she’s laying on her back. But just watching the mobile move the normal way is so passive! All you need to do in order to present your baby with a problem to solve is to take a soft ribbon, tie one end to an arm of the mobile and the other end to your baby’s foot. What happens the next time your baby moves her foot? The mobile moves too! At first your baby won’t understand the connection, but before long she will be purposefully kicking up a storm—and having a great time!

And once your baby understands about kicking that foot, change the ribbon to the other foot—or a hand—and, Voila!, an exciting new problem to solve!

Of course, it doesn’t have to be a mobile. It could be as simple as attaching aa hand to a set of bells you hold over the baby as you see in the photo above.

I played this game with my own son, who’s now 25, and he loved it. To see how long he would stay entertained by moving the mobile, I set up a video camera and just let it roll. The answer? He stayed content making the mobile move for 45 minutes! An astounding amount of time for a 2 month-old baby—and testimony to how much fun babies figuring out how to make things happen in their world.

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

“You Want 'Goodnight Moon' Again?!”

Once again I'm going to detour from my usual preoccupation with baby sign language to talk about a phenomenon that is pretty universal during the first years of life. Here goes!

How many times can one person read the same storybook without going crazy? If you’re under age 5, the sky’s the limit. Or so it seems to weary parents who can be overheard at bedtime pleading with their children, “You want Goodnight Moon AGAIN? But that’s 14 nights in a row!” And then there are the occasions when sleepy parents make sly attempts to shorten the bedtime story just a little but are caught up short when a plaintive voice protests “No Mama! Where comb ‘n brush!?” What’s a parent to do?

The answer is simple. Grin and bear it. Why? Because although reading the same story over and over again may seem to be an imaginative form of parent abuse, your child’s motivation is really a positive one. In asking for the same book again, your child is really eagerly awaiting another lesson in memory development. Children between one and four years are programmed to work hard at practicing remembering things, whether it’s the plot of a certain book or video or the order of events when they take a bath or get dressed in the morning. By reading the same story more than once, you’re providing more chances for them to learn the “script.” They love the challenge and then the pleasure of being able to predict what’s going to happen on the next page. And as the sleepy parent reading “Goodnight Moon” learned, pretty soon your child will be able to fill in the blanks as well as, if not better than, you can!

So, yes, it’s important to read the same books over and over. Doing so is actually another easy way to support your child’s intellectual development.

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis