Metaphorically "Speaking"

One of the most creative ways we use language is to point out similarities between things, similarities that strike us as especially informative, beautiful, or even funny. “His face was an open book.” “My love is like a red, red rose.” Such parallels are called metaphors or similes. You may be surprised to learn how early such creative begins—especially when babies know simple signs.

An airplane ride was the occasion for a particularly nice example: Fifteen-month-old Brandon was settling into his seat for his first airplane ride when he looked toward the window and began smacking his lips enthusiastically. “You see a fish?” asked his mom as she followed his gaze. But it was raining quite hard and all she could see was water dripping down the window beside his seat. Nevertheless, Brandon was insistent and continued to sign even more vehemently—fish, fish, FISH! Suddenly the mystery was solved as his mom looked at the window with different eyes. “Oh! I bet you’re telling me it looks like our aquarium at home!” said his mother in amazement. “You’re absolutely right. That’s where fishies live!” Brandon’s response? A big, satisfied grin.

Other babies have shown similar creativity with their signs: 11-month-old Cady calling the broccoli on her plate a “flower,” 18-month-old Elizabeth calling the long-hosed vacuum cleaner an “elephant,” 16-month-old Austin using the “monkey” sign to describe a particularly hairy young man, and 17-month-old Carlos describing a trip through the car wash as “wind” and “rain.”

Using signs, babies continue to teach us a valuable lesson: Bring fresh eyes to even an old place and you may be surprised by what you see!

Happy Signing! (and don’t forget to look for us on Facebook)

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

Going Beyond Single Signs

There’s no doubt that a single sign—such as MORE, for example—conveys important information. But there’s also no denying that the combination MORE + COOKIE is even clearer. Babies seem to know this intuitively; that’s why as soon as they can, they begin stringing two words (or signs!) together and sentences are born.

This important intellectual milestone—the ability to put true words together—typically occurs on average around 20 months, with many babies waiting until their third year. Things happen much earlier, however, with signs. Because signs are easier to learn than words, babies can begin putting them together with each other and with single words as early as 12 months! The most useful signs in this regard are MORE which can be combined with lots of other signs or words (e.g., cookie, milk, book, bubbles, etc.) and ALL GONE which is equally combinable (e.g., with water for down the drain, food words or signs, and even animal signs when animals run or fly away).

Many signing babies, however, don’t stop with just two. Here’s a great illustration: Michelle, mom to toddler twins Jimmie and Julianna (see photo), decided to make a detour from shopping and take the kids for their first trip through the car wash. She thought they might enjoy it. Instead, they began crying hysterically, clearly terrified by the onslaught of water, brushes, and noise. That night when Daddy got home, they immediately told him all about it…with signs: CAR + BATH+ SCARED! For weeks afterward, when they would get in the car they would repeat the same “sentence” just to make sure Mom wouldn’t forget and take them there again!

Yup! Sometimes one word (or sign) alone isn’t nearly enough!

Happy Signing! (and don’t forget to look for us on Facebook)

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

I'd Love to Meet You!

I’m currently in the midst of preparing for a 2-day, in-person training in Denver on June 24-25. I love these trainings! It’s my chance to share my passion for the Baby Signs® Program “up close and personal” with others who are eager to pass along the good news to families in their own communities. The attendees come from two different groups. One group includes individuals interested in starting their own home businesses by becoming Baby Signs® Independent Certified Instructors. These folks will not only have fun giving classes, but will also have the satisfaction of earning extra income. The other group are representatives from child development related organizations and agencies who want the ability to teach Baby Signs® classes to the clients they serve. We call folks in this latter group “Agency Certified Instructors.”

These trainings always leave me with good memories—and new friends—which is why I look forward to them so much. Here’s an example: One of our attendees—who I will call Joyce—was eager to become an instructor because of her experience with her grandson, Jacob. Unfortunately, Joyce lived some 1500 miles away from Jacob and had only been able to visit right after he was born. Her daughter tried to bridge the gap with a photo of Joyce on his bureau and a routine where he would kiss the photo every night while his mom said “Goodnight Grandma. We LOVE you!”

When Jacob was about 11 months old, Joyce's daughter announced she was going to begin teaching Jacob to communicate with signs. Joyce had never heard of such a thing and was more than a little dubious. (She even admitted at the training that she had been secretly worried that using signs would slow down Jacob learning to talk, an admission which led nicely during the training into my description of our research at UCD proving the opposite is true!).

All her qualms faded away, however, one night when Joyce and her daughter inaugurated their brand new Skype connection. Joyce, of course, was eager to say “Hello” to Jacob. Jacob, always glad to get in front of the computer, cooperated by climbing into his mother’s lap and turning his eyes to the screen to see what fun game was going on. But then, in something of a double-take, his eyes grew wide as he caught sight of Joyce. He then spontaneously leaned forward, kissed the screen, smiled broadly and—much to Joyce and her daughter’s delighted amazement—signed “LOVE” by crossing his hands over his heart!

Jacob and Joyce continued after that night to communicate via Skype, with Jacob using his signs to tell her about his day. But no matter what other amazing things Jacob did with his signing, nothing could top that first memorable moment. And that’s why she was at our training. Why shouldn’t every grandma experience the magic of learning that, although she may be far away, she’s far from forgotten!

If you or someone you know is interested in learning more about our upcoming training, just click “Professional Trainings” on our home page. Hope to see you there!

Happy Signing! (and don’t forget to look for us on Facebook)

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

A Grandma By Any Other Name. . .

I’m on a kick about grandparents, probably because I’ve been able to spend lots of time with my nearing 4-years-old grandchildren. Of course, I’m too young to be a grandmother—aren’t we all? Fortunately, the grandmother image I grew up with has slowly given way to a new view. When I was a child, grandmothers, including my own, were typically frail women with white hair drawn up into a bun, solid black laced-up old lady shoes, and flowered dresses about as form fitting as a garage around a car. Nowadays, grandmothers are vibrant women still right in the thick of things, with or without gray hair—but very seldom in a bun!

One thing, however, hasn’t changed and never will. Grandmothers of any era relish the first time a grandchild reaches out with a smile and murmurs some version of her name, be it “gamma,” “mimi,” or “nana.” The wait for this memorable event is often long—sometimes not until a child is over 2 years old—because learning to say words is such a struggle for young children.

Fortunately, there’s a way around this frustration and the need for guessing. The solution is helping babies and toddlers use signs to communicate with those they love. And included in these sign vocabularies for many children are signs for grandpa and grandma that function exactly like names. Here are some fun examples from our files:

--13-month-old Claire used a rocking motion as her name for Grandma because Grandma frequently rocked her in a rocking chair.

--12-month-old Kai picked up on the way his Grandpa always threw him up in the air and began raising his arms up high whenever his grandpa arrived—or even when he saw a picture of him.

--15-month-old Sadie would enthusiastically do her version of the ASL sign for Grandma (thumb of open hand on chin, arched forward two times) when Grandma entered the house.

Being a grandparent is one of the sweetest experiences on earth, and now it’s easy to make it sweeter still. Start signing with your grandbabies today and enjoy the sense of connection and love that being able to communicate brings.

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

Grammies and Papas: Great Signing Teachers

The fact that my twin-grandchildren, Nate and Olivia, are nearing their 4th birthday reminds me how long I’ve been writing this blog! Some of the earliest entries were about them—the frightening image of seeing barely 3-pound babies in the NICU with all sorts of tubes and monitors around them, the magic of holding them when they were carefully lifted from their Isolettes, the miracle of their first birthday when it was truly clear that they would grow up strong and healthy.

And then there are the memories of all the signing we did together: how enchanted Nate was with flowers and would sniff (his sign for flower) wherever he saw them; how Olivia, always hungry, would make good use of the “more” sign; and how they would excitedly sign “moon” and take me outside to see it up in the daylight sky.

The chance to be with them and watch them sign reminds me that grandparents make ideal teachers of signs—whether it be to their own grandchildren or to other children in their communities. The reason is that the experience of raising their own children enables them to recognize how helpful signs are in avoiding the tears and tantrums that arise when infants and toddlers need to communicate but simply can’t.

Grandparents also tend to have the patience and wisdom that come with years of dealing with people of all ages, enabling them to approach both parents and children with confidence and caring. Finally, from their life experiences they truly understand that successful communication fosters love and understanding—a wonderful gift for any grandparent to give--and to receive.

That’s why we are pleased that more and more grandparents are joining our Baby Signs® Independent Certified Instructor (ICI) team. Our ICI program enables individuals to set their own hours and work as much or as little as they want, all the time earning income while helping families and childcare centers enjoy all the benefits that signing can bring.

If you are a grandparent or know of one who might make a great Baby Signs® teacher, pass along this link to a video describing our instructor program.

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
and
Co-Founder, The Baby Signs® Program

There’s More to Counting Than “One” Might Think!

I’m taking time out from talking about the Baby Signs® Program to share some fun information from the 2nd book I co-authored with Dr. Susan Goodwyn, Baby Minds: Brain-Building Games Your Baby Will Love.”

One of the milestones parents of young children watch for is the development of the ability to count. Characters like Sesame Street’s “the Count” with his Dracula-like persona help the process along, as do thousands of number-focused picture books. To most parents the process seems simple. All children need to do is memorize the order of the number names and “Voila!” counting can be checked off the developmental “to do” list.

Researchers who study the seeds of mathematics, however, know it’s not nearly that simple—that the ability to count represents significant intellectual progress. In reality, it turns out, children need to understand 6 basic rules about how those number names work. Here’s a list of the principles that underlie the “simple” task of counting:

1. The Standard Set Principle: The number names must be memorized in a precise order with none left out.

2. The Stable Order Principle: When counting a set of things, start with the first word of your memorized list and always assign the labels in exactly the same order each time you use the list.

3.The One-One Principle: A different label must be applied to each and every entity. Once you’ve used a specific label, it cannot be used again within the same activity.

4.The Flexible Application Principle: The number names can be applied to any set of entities you desire, be they tangible or intangible (e.g., object or ideas), identical or different (all hats or different objects), regardless of the fact that the entities already have unique names (e.g., in counting, a hat can both be labeled “a hat,” and “#4”).

5.The Application-Order Irrelevance Principle: When applying the words to a set of entities, it doesn’t matter with which entity you choose to start.

6.The Cardinality Principle: The word applied to the last entity in the string represents the quantity of the set. If the last number applied was “10,” there are 10 things in the set.

You can see children struggling with some of these rules along the way to full understanding.
• A child who counts “1,2,3,5,7,15” doesn’t have the Standard Set Principle down yet.
• A child who counts “1, 2, 3, 3, 4…” doesn’t have the One-One Principle down yet.
• A child who counts 1,2,3,4,5…I have 20-teen!” doesn’t have the Cardinality Principle down yet.
• And a child who will only count things that are the same (all hats, all cats, etc.) doesn’t have the Flexible Application Principle down yet.

So, the next time you hear a young child correctly counting cookies on a plate, view his/her success with even more enthusiasm and a silent or not so silent, “You’ve come a long way, Baby!”

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

Babies Remember More Than You Think

There's nothing more fascinating to me than the mind of a baby. That's one reason I find the ability of babies to communicate with signs so interesting. Signs provide a window into a baby's mind. However, their skills don't stop with signing. Dr. Susan Goodwyn and I wrote the book Baby Minds so parents could appreciate how much more competent babies are than many parents suspect. The following story provides an excellent example.

“Who turned off the lights?” would seem to be the most natural question if you suddenly found yourself sitting in pitch-blackness. That apparently wasn’t what was running through two-and-a-half-year-old Miriam’s mind, however, when the lights went out during her visit to the psychology lab at the University of Massachusetts. Instead of questioning, crying, or even reaching toward Mom, Miriam confidently thrust her hands out in front of her s though she fully expected to encounter something interesting just beyond her fingertips.

Now why, when no object had been visible with the lights on, would she expect to find an object out there once everything was dark? It doesn’t seem to make sense—until you learn that this was Miriam’s second encounter with this particular dark room. Along with other children, Miriam had made an earlier visit to the lab to participate in a study of hearing ability conducted by Eve Perris, Nancy Myers, and Rachel Clifton. Miriam’s job during that earlier visit had been to reach out toward a toy that was making noise. When the lights were on, she had both her eyes and her ears to guide her. But when the lights were suddenly turned off, the job was left to her ears. Despite the dark, Miriam and her peers had no trouble finding the toy. Their ears were definitely up to the task.

But now let’s jump ahead again to Miriam’s current visit. Given these previous experiences with the dark room, it certainly makes sense that Miriam would anticipate finding an object out there in the dark. After all, you and I would probably remember a salient event like the one these children experienced. In fact, Miriam’s easy acceptance of the sudden darkness and her confident reaching behavior this time around hardly seem remarkable at all—until you realize that the event Miriam is remembering took place two full years earlier, when she was just six- and-a-half months old!

There’s an important lesson here for parents. Babies are affected by events that happen early in their lives. They may not be able to tell us yet about them, but the traces of the experiences—positive or negative—remain accessible to children for long periods of time and influence their reactions to things later on. So, let’s dedicate ourselves to making as many of those experiences positive as we can!

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to visit us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, PhD.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

“You Want “Goodnight Moon” Again?!”

How many times can one person read the same storybook without going crazy? If you’re under age 5, the sky’s the limit. Or so it seems to weary parents who can be overheard at bedtime pleading with their children, “You want Goodnight Moon AGAIN? But that’s 14 nights in a row!” And then there are the occasions when sleepy parents make sly attempts to shorten the bedtime story just a little but are caught up short when a plaintive voice protests “No Mama! Where comb ‘n brush!?” What’s a parent to do?

The answer is simple. Grin and bear it. Why? Because although reading the same story over and over again may seem to be an imaginative form of parent abuse, your child’s motivation is really a positive one. In asking for the same book again, your child is really eagerly awaiting another lesson in memory development. Children between one and four years are programmed to work hard at practicing remembering things, whether it’s the plot of a certain book or video or the order of events when they take a bath or get dressed in the morning. By reading the same story more than once, you’re providing more chances for them to learn the “script.” They love the challenge and then the pleasure of being able to predict what’s going to happen on the next page. And as the sleepy parent reading “Goodnight Moon” learned, pretty soon your child will be able to fill in the blanks as well as, if not better than, you can!

So, yes, it’s important to read the same books over and over. Doing so is actually another easy way to support your child’s intellectual development.

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

From Signs to Speech—Inevitable!

Parents and babies love the Baby Signs® Program because it reduces frustration and makes being together even more fun. But speech is even more important, isn't it? Will babies be willing to move on to words if life is so easy with signs?

Despite our federally-funded research evidence showing that signing babies actually learn to talk sooner, some parents still worry that their babies will be too content with signing to do the work of learning to talk. Below are four reasons why children are, in fact, eager to make the transition from signs to speech:

New Places to Go: As toddlers get older and more mobile, they are more and more likely to wander away from direct eye-to-eye contact with parents—around corners, behind chairs, up and down the slide. Signs, which require being able to see each other, are much less effective that words in such situations. You simply can’t shout a sign from around the bend!

New Faces to Meet: Greater mobility and maturity also mean that children are destined to meet more and more new people along the way—people who engage them in conversations and most likely don’t know signs. They may be new playmates at daycare or cashiers at the grocery store or friendly parents at the park. Conversing with these folks requires words.

New Games to Play: Getting older also means that children become increasingly attracted to activities that keep the hands busy—like finger paints, crayons, puzzles, ladders to climb, bikes to ride. Signing in such situations is much less convenient that words!

New Things to Say: To a 15-month-old, simply telling you that he sees a butterfly is a magnificent feat—and one easily accomplished with a simple sign. However, as children grow intellectually, gathering more and more information about the world around them, the ideas they want to get across become much more complicated. Except for children whose parents are capable of teaching them to be fluent in ASL, complex ideas and observations are beyond the power of simple signs to express. Words are the perfect substitute.

So, don’t worry about the transition to speech; your child will be eager to move on to words. In fact, if you’re like many parents, you’ll actually be a bit sad to see the signs slowly drift away one by one as an onslaught of words takes over!

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

Shame and Guilt: Siblings but Definitely not Twins!

I'm taking a detour from talking about baby sign language to share information from the book I co-authored with Dr. Susan Goodwyn, Baby Hearts.

If you’re like me, you’ve often bandied about the terms “shame” and “guilt” as though they were synonymous—two words for the same internal, not-very-pleasant feeling that occurs when we’ve done something of which others disapprove. However, researchers looking at the development of emotions in children feel it’s very important to distinguish between them shame and guilt, for parents to understand the differences, and for parent to steer clear of instilling shame whenever possible.

So, what are the differences? There are two that stand out:

First and most central, there’s a difference between shame and guilt in where the person feels the error or “deficiency” lies. In the case of shame, the entire “self” is perceived as bad. In the case of guilt, the specific action, rather than the “self” is perceived as bad. For example, a child who feels shame over having broken a precious knickknack might say to herself, “I’m a bad bad girl,” while a child feeling guilty might say instead “Oh dear, I should have been more careful!”
A second important difference is in the actions which tend to follow once the misdeed is discovered. In the case of shame, because the internal feeling of being bad is so distressing, the person’s inclination is to flee the scene—to escape—or even more problematic, to blame the victim. Our little girl, for example, might say to herself, or even aloud, “It’s Grandma’s fault for leaving it there!” In contrast, a person who feels guilty, rather than trying to flee, is motivated to try to make amends, to right whatever wrong was done, and to prove it was a one-time-only lapse in judgment. In this case, our little girl might say, “I’m so sorry, Grandma! Maybe I can make you something pretty to take its place.”

Why does it matter whether a child tends to feel shame or to feel guilt? Because research shows that feelings of shame are more likely to result in hostility, depression, and a lack of empathy for others.

Given that all kids misbehave at one time or another, how can you avoid instilling a sense of shame? Quite simply, watch what you say! Instead of saying things like “You’re a bad girl” or “I’m disappointed in you,” emphasize the consequences of the misdeed, why you disapprove of the child’s behavior, and what can be done to make amends. Remember, children who are told often that they are “bad” gradually find themselves living up to your expectations in what psychologists call a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Just some important information to help you make sure your child is on the path to healthy emotional development.

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

The Baby Signs® Program & Learning to Talk

By far the most frequently voiced concern about encouraging babies to use signs to communicate before they can talk is that doing so will slow down verbal development. In fact, the exact opposite is true. Baby sign language actually speeds up the process.

How do we know? With a grant from the federal government, Dr. Susan Goodwyn and I compared verbal development in babies using the Baby Signs® Program with that of non-signing babies. In test after test the babies who signed were more advanced than the non-signers in language skills. (The published study is available on our Baby Signs web site.) We really weren’t surprised because we had already observed the following ways in which baby signing spurs language skills.

• Signing is to talking as crawling is to walking. In other words, just as crawling excites babies about getting around even faster by walking, the excitement of being able to communicate with signs motivates babies to figure out ways to communicate better—and the most obvious way is with words.

• Signing provides practice. The experience of signing teaches babies useful lessons about how language works (like using symbols to label objects, etc.). These lessons speed up the process of learning to talk once words are finally available.

• Signing pulls language from adults. The natural reaction to a baby’s use of a sign is to flood the child with words, and the more words a child hears, the faster he or she will learn to talk. What’s more, signs enable babies to pick the topic of conversation, thereby increasing the likelihood that they will listen attentively to the words parents say.

• Signing changes the brain. Every time a baby successfully uses a sign to label something, circuits in the brain are strengthened; circuits that then make learning words easier.

• Signing makes book-reading more fun. Babies who sign can actively participate in book-reading by labeling pictures they see well before they would be able to do so with words. Because taking a active role is more exciting they sitting passively on the sidelines, thereby making the experience more fun. How does that help language? Books expose children to lots of new vocabulary words and stimulate conversations.

So, the next time someone suggests that your use of the Baby Signs® Program is going to keep your child from talking, just smile knowingly, roll your eyes, and say “Oh, that old wives’ tale!”

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

What Exactly Does “Ba” Mean?!

I recently ran into an old friend who was out shopping with her 20-month-old granddaughter. I was delighted to hear that little Laney had taken our Baby Signs® Sign, Say & Play® class and been a great signer since age 10 months, and equally delighted to hear that words had started to appear in her repertoire as well. According to Grandma, however, most of these words sound pretty much the same, and although Mom and Dad can often figure them out based on context, it's a real challenge for Grandma. For example, she told me, Laney currently says something like “ba” for “baby,” “ball,” and “bottle.” What helps enormously, Grandma, said with a smile, is that Laney almost always combines the sign for what she's talking about with the word, thereby clarifying her message! So the sign for BABY accompanies "ba" in some cases, while the sign for BALL does so in others, etc.

Aha! A great example of how signing still has a role to play even when words begin! Instead of looking at their babies in frustration and listing all the possibilities, adults can correctly interpret these early words ( “Oh, baby! You see the baby!” ). Using signs in this way to clarify what they are trying to say is an advantage of baby sign language that is often overlooked—until a parent or grandparent very gratefully sees it in action. It turns out to be important because receiving positive attention for trying to talk is an important incentive that motivates children to keep working hard to add new words.

Just think how discouraging it is to be struggling to be understood in a foreign country when you can’t say the words quite right. It’s enough to make you want to retreat in silence to your hotel room! Having signs to help them clarify their messages keeps babies from feeling this way so that instead of retreating into silence, they become more and more excited about learning to talk.

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

Signs: A Window into the Infant Mind for Researchers Too

I spent last Tuesday with my twin, almost 4-year-old grandchildren—Nate and Olivia—because they were home sick from preschool. Both of them were great signers, so I decided to see if they remembered any of their signs. I mentioned that they used to use a sign for “more,” and Nathan quickly tapped his fists together, clearly remembering something from easily 18 months earlier. Then Olivia did the sign for “all done” and Nate asked me to remind him what the sign was for “drink.” Soon we were all into it with them remembering lots of signs—like book, bird, dog, and moon—and even a specific experience when they had used the bird sign to talk about a hawk out back. My conversation with them reminded me of one of my favorite signing stories where a 2-year-old little girl, who had switched from sign to words a whole year earlier, suddenly began to teach her doll the sign for “more!”

The doll story and my conversation with Nate and Olivia reminds me of one of the less obvious gifts signing with babies has given us. For a very long time, researchers (as well as parents) assumed that babies’ memory abilities were severely limited. And who was to tell us differently? After all, without words to share their thoughts, babies seem almost oblivious to the past and future. But now, with signs at their disposal, babies are sharing what they see, hear, feel, and even what they remember with both parents and researchers! Finally we’re getting proof that babies are a lot smarter than they look!

Let’s hear it for signing with babies!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
and
Co-Founder, The Baby Signs® Program

“But We’re Not Laughing At You!”

This week I'm taking a detour from my usual topic of the Baby Signs Program to talk about a topic from Baby Hearts, the third parenting book I co-authored with Dr. Susan Goodwyn--the development of embarrassment.

If there’s a 2-year-old at your next family get-together , it’s likely that at one time or another everyone will be laughing at something amusing she has done. Maybe she is busily eating chocolate cake, getting more around her mouth than in it, or maybe she is carefully trying to walk in her mother’s high heels. Whatever the behavior, as soon as the child becomes aware that she is the focus of attention she becomes upset. And no matter how many times she is reassured that no one is laughing at her, she remains inconsolable and is too embarrassed to continue.

Where does such embarrassment come from? Has some humiliation in the child’s past created an expectation of punishment or shame? Probably not. According to developmental researcher, Dr. Michael Lewis, such reactions are typical of children starting between 18 and 24 months. It’s at this age that children begin to experience embarrassment when they find they are the center of attention. It’s not that they think they’ve done anything wrong or shameful. It’s just that everyone is looking at them and it makes them extremely uneasy.

Why does such self-consciousness begin between 18 and 24 months? It’s quite simple. This is the age when toddlers first become aware of themselves as separate from other people, knowledge that is obviously critical to feeling embarrassed. In fact, Lewis demonstrated a direct connection between self-awareness and embarrassment in the following way.

First, he tested a group of toddlers to see if they could recognize themselves in a mirror – a classic test of self-awareness. The way to do this is to surreptitiously dab a spot of rouge on a child’s nose, set him in front of a mirror, and watch to see if he touches his nose. If he does, then it’s clear that he recognizes that the red spot on the nose in the mirror is a red spot on his own nose. Some the toddlers in Lewis study did touch their noses, while others did not.

Lewis then tested whether these same children would show embarrassment. He had their mothers urge them to dance in front of the experimenter to the sound of a tambourine. As you might expect, some children did so without hesitation while others refused, showing classic signs of embarrassment. Every one of these latter children, and very few of the former, were among those able to recognize themselves in a mirror, a lovely demonstration that the child’s developing mind and the child’s developing emotions are closely related.

Apparently the novelty of understanding that one is the center of attention is very unnerving. Whether or not there is a judgment involved is irrelevant; the child simply wants the attention itself to stop…now. The more mature understanding that one has done something that has violated some kind of standard of behavior won’t develop for another year or so. In the meantime, realizing that it’s the attention itself that toddlers dislike can help parents be more sympathetic. After all, would you want everyone watching you stuff chocolate cake into your mouth? I thought not.

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

Potty Training: Emotional Readiness

Over the last month, I’ve been sharing the kinds of “readiness” that pediatricians argue is critical to potty training. Previous posts have dealt with physical and cognitive readiness. Today we’ll tackle the third and final: emotional readiness.

Emotional readiness for potty training means a willingness to cooperate. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, the likelihood of such cooperation increases after the first birthday with the emergence of the following:

• A desire for independence and self-mastery
• An interest in imitating others
• A desire for approval

Once these fundamental characteristics in place, all that’s necessary is motivating children to cooperate. In other words, anything that increases the willingness of toddlers to embrace potty training automatically creates the emotional readiness that the AAP says is essential.

So, how does one help a 1- to 2-year-old get excited about potty training? Here at Baby Signs we’ve given that question a great deal of thought. Based on what we know about development, what we’ve experienced ourselves with our own children and grandchildren, and what we’ve heard from many parents, we’ve put together a set of materials designed to do just that—inspire even 1- to 2-year-olds to “climb on board the potty train.” They are all included in a kit entitled Potty Training Made Easy with the Baby Signs Program.

A highlight of these materials is our All Aboard the Potty Train DVD featuring our popular DiaperDoodle characters who slowly act out a typical “potty routine” that incorporates five helpful potty-time signs: POTTY, MORE, ALL DONE, WASH, and GOOD JOB. Additional motivational components include a lift-a-flap board book, conductor’s whistle and stickers.

To review: If children are physically and cognitively “ready” for potty training between ages 1 and 2 and can be inspired to cooperate using fun materials, why wait! Help reverse the diaper-industry-inspired trend toward later and later potty training by getting your child out of diapers by age 2. Your child, the environment, and your pocketbook will all thank you!

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
and
Co-Founder, The Baby Signs® Program