A Grandma By Any Other Name. . .

I’m on a kick about grandparents, probably because I’ve been able to spend lots of time with my nearing 4-years-old grandchildren. Of course, I’m too young to be a grandmother—aren’t we all? Fortunately, the grandmother image I grew up with has slowly given way to a new view. When I was a child, grandmothers, including my own, were typically frail women with white hair drawn up into a bun, solid black laced-up old lady shoes, and flowered dresses about as form fitting as a garage around a car. Nowadays, grandmothers are vibrant women still right in the thick of things, with or without gray hair—but very seldom in a bun!

One thing, however, hasn’t changed and never will. Grandmothers of any era relish the first time a grandchild reaches out with a smile and murmurs some version of her name, be it “gamma,” “mimi,” or “nana.” The wait for this memorable event is often long—sometimes not until a child is over 2 years old—because learning to say words is such a struggle for young children.

Fortunately, there’s a way around this frustration and the need for guessing. The solution is helping babies and toddlers use signs to communicate with those they love. And included in these sign vocabularies for many children are signs for grandpa and grandma that function exactly like names. Here are some fun examples from our files:

--13-month-old Claire used a rocking motion as her name for Grandma because Grandma frequently rocked her in a rocking chair.

--12-month-old Kai picked up on the way his Grandpa always threw him up in the air and began raising his arms up high whenever his grandpa arrived—or even when he saw a picture of him.

--15-month-old Sadie would enthusiastically do her version of the ASL sign for Grandma (thumb of open hand on chin, arched forward two times) when Grandma entered the house.

Being a grandparent is one of the sweetest experiences on earth, and now it’s easy to make it sweeter still. Start signing with your grandbabies today and enjoy the sense of connection and love that being able to communicate brings.

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

Grammies and Papas: Great Signing Teachers

The fact that my twin-grandchildren, Nate and Olivia, are nearing their 4th birthday reminds me how long I’ve been writing this blog! Some of the earliest entries were about them—the frightening image of seeing barely 3-pound babies in the NICU with all sorts of tubes and monitors around them, the magic of holding them when they were carefully lifted from their Isolettes, the miracle of their first birthday when it was truly clear that they would grow up strong and healthy.

And then there are the memories of all the signing we did together: how enchanted Nate was with flowers and would sniff (his sign for flower) wherever he saw them; how Olivia, always hungry, would make good use of the “more” sign; and how they would excitedly sign “moon” and take me outside to see it up in the daylight sky.

The chance to be with them and watch them sign reminds me that grandparents make ideal teachers of signs—whether it be to their own grandchildren or to other children in their communities. The reason is that the experience of raising their own children enables them to recognize how helpful signs are in avoiding the tears and tantrums that arise when infants and toddlers need to communicate but simply can’t.

Grandparents also tend to have the patience and wisdom that come with years of dealing with people of all ages, enabling them to approach both parents and children with confidence and caring. Finally, from their life experiences they truly understand that successful communication fosters love and understanding—a wonderful gift for any grandparent to give--and to receive.

That’s why we are pleased that more and more grandparents are joining our Baby Signs® Independent Certified Instructor (ICI) team. Our ICI program enables individuals to set their own hours and work as much or as little as they want, all the time earning income while helping families and childcare centers enjoy all the benefits that signing can bring.

If you are a grandparent or know of one who might make a great Baby Signs® teacher, pass along this link to a video describing our instructor program.

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis
and
Co-Founder, The Baby Signs® Program

There’s More to Counting Than “One” Might Think!

I’m taking time out from talking about the Baby Signs® Program to share some fun information from the 2nd book I co-authored with Dr. Susan Goodwyn, Baby Minds: Brain-Building Games Your Baby Will Love.”

One of the milestones parents of young children watch for is the development of the ability to count. Characters like Sesame Street’s “the Count” with his Dracula-like persona help the process along, as do thousands of number-focused picture books. To most parents the process seems simple. All children need to do is memorize the order of the number names and “Voila!” counting can be checked off the developmental “to do” list.

Researchers who study the seeds of mathematics, however, know it’s not nearly that simple—that the ability to count represents significant intellectual progress. In reality, it turns out, children need to understand 6 basic rules about how those number names work. Here’s a list of the principles that underlie the “simple” task of counting:

1. The Standard Set Principle: The number names must be memorized in a precise order with none left out.

2. The Stable Order Principle: When counting a set of things, start with the first word of your memorized list and always assign the labels in exactly the same order each time you use the list.

3.The One-One Principle: A different label must be applied to each and every entity. Once you’ve used a specific label, it cannot be used again within the same activity.

4.The Flexible Application Principle: The number names can be applied to any set of entities you desire, be they tangible or intangible (e.g., object or ideas), identical or different (all hats or different objects), regardless of the fact that the entities already have unique names (e.g., in counting, a hat can both be labeled “a hat,” and “#4”).

5.The Application-Order Irrelevance Principle: When applying the words to a set of entities, it doesn’t matter with which entity you choose to start.

6.The Cardinality Principle: The word applied to the last entity in the string represents the quantity of the set. If the last number applied was “10,” there are 10 things in the set.

You can see children struggling with some of these rules along the way to full understanding.
• A child who counts “1,2,3,5,7,15” doesn’t have the Standard Set Principle down yet.
• A child who counts “1, 2, 3, 3, 4…” doesn’t have the One-One Principle down yet.
• A child who counts 1,2,3,4,5…I have 20-teen!” doesn’t have the Cardinality Principle down yet.
• And a child who will only count things that are the same (all hats, all cats, etc.) doesn’t have the Flexible Application Principle down yet.

So, the next time you hear a young child correctly counting cookies on a plate, view his/her success with even more enthusiasm and a silent or not so silent, “You’ve come a long way, Baby!”

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

Babies Remember More Than You Think

There's nothing more fascinating to me than the mind of a baby. That's one reason I find the ability of babies to communicate with signs so interesting. Signs provide a window into a baby's mind. However, their skills don't stop with signing. Dr. Susan Goodwyn and I wrote the book Baby Minds so parents could appreciate how much more competent babies are than many parents suspect. The following story provides an excellent example.

“Who turned off the lights?” would seem to be the most natural question if you suddenly found yourself sitting in pitch-blackness. That apparently wasn’t what was running through two-and-a-half-year-old Miriam’s mind, however, when the lights went out during her visit to the psychology lab at the University of Massachusetts. Instead of questioning, crying, or even reaching toward Mom, Miriam confidently thrust her hands out in front of her s though she fully expected to encounter something interesting just beyond her fingertips.

Now why, when no object had been visible with the lights on, would she expect to find an object out there once everything was dark? It doesn’t seem to make sense—until you learn that this was Miriam’s second encounter with this particular dark room. Along with other children, Miriam had made an earlier visit to the lab to participate in a study of hearing ability conducted by Eve Perris, Nancy Myers, and Rachel Clifton. Miriam’s job during that earlier visit had been to reach out toward a toy that was making noise. When the lights were on, she had both her eyes and her ears to guide her. But when the lights were suddenly turned off, the job was left to her ears. Despite the dark, Miriam and her peers had no trouble finding the toy. Their ears were definitely up to the task.

But now let’s jump ahead again to Miriam’s current visit. Given these previous experiences with the dark room, it certainly makes sense that Miriam would anticipate finding an object out there in the dark. After all, you and I would probably remember a salient event like the one these children experienced. In fact, Miriam’s easy acceptance of the sudden darkness and her confident reaching behavior this time around hardly seem remarkable at all—until you realize that the event Miriam is remembering took place two full years earlier, when she was just six- and-a-half months old!

There’s an important lesson here for parents. Babies are affected by events that happen early in their lives. They may not be able to tell us yet about them, but the traces of the experiences—positive or negative—remain accessible to children for long periods of time and influence their reactions to things later on. So, let’s dedicate ourselves to making as many of those experiences positive as we can!

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to visit us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, PhD.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

“You Want “Goodnight Moon” Again?!”

How many times can one person read the same storybook without going crazy? If you’re under age 5, the sky’s the limit. Or so it seems to weary parents who can be overheard at bedtime pleading with their children, “You want Goodnight Moon AGAIN? But that’s 14 nights in a row!” And then there are the occasions when sleepy parents make sly attempts to shorten the bedtime story just a little but are caught up short when a plaintive voice protests “No Mama! Where comb ‘n brush!?” What’s a parent to do?

The answer is simple. Grin and bear it. Why? Because although reading the same story over and over again may seem to be an imaginative form of parent abuse, your child’s motivation is really a positive one. In asking for the same book again, your child is really eagerly awaiting another lesson in memory development. Children between one and four years are programmed to work hard at practicing remembering things, whether it’s the plot of a certain book or video or the order of events when they take a bath or get dressed in the morning. By reading the same story more than once, you’re providing more chances for them to learn the “script.” They love the challenge and then the pleasure of being able to predict what’s going to happen on the next page. And as the sleepy parent reading “Goodnight Moon” learned, pretty soon your child will be able to fill in the blanks as well as, if not better than, you can!

So, yes, it’s important to read the same books over and over. Doing so is actually another easy way to support your child’s intellectual development.

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

From Signs to Speech—Inevitable!

Parents and babies love the Baby Signs® Program because it reduces frustration and makes being together even more fun. But speech is even more important, isn't it? Will babies be willing to move on to words if life is so easy with signs?

Despite our federally-funded research evidence showing that signing babies actually learn to talk sooner, some parents still worry that their babies will be too content with signing to do the work of learning to talk. Below are four reasons why children are, in fact, eager to make the transition from signs to speech:

New Places to Go: As toddlers get older and more mobile, they are more and more likely to wander away from direct eye-to-eye contact with parents—around corners, behind chairs, up and down the slide. Signs, which require being able to see each other, are much less effective that words in such situations. You simply can’t shout a sign from around the bend!

New Faces to Meet: Greater mobility and maturity also mean that children are destined to meet more and more new people along the way—people who engage them in conversations and most likely don’t know signs. They may be new playmates at daycare or cashiers at the grocery store or friendly parents at the park. Conversing with these folks requires words.

New Games to Play: Getting older also means that children become increasingly attracted to activities that keep the hands busy—like finger paints, crayons, puzzles, ladders to climb, bikes to ride. Signing in such situations is much less convenient that words!

New Things to Say: To a 15-month-old, simply telling you that he sees a butterfly is a magnificent feat—and one easily accomplished with a simple sign. However, as children grow intellectually, gathering more and more information about the world around them, the ideas they want to get across become much more complicated. Except for children whose parents are capable of teaching them to be fluent in ASL, complex ideas and observations are beyond the power of simple signs to express. Words are the perfect substitute.

So, don’t worry about the transition to speech; your child will be eager to move on to words. In fact, if you’re like many parents, you’ll actually be a bit sad to see the signs slowly drift away one by one as an onslaught of words takes over!

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis

Shame and Guilt: Siblings but Definitely not Twins!

I'm taking a detour from talking about baby sign language to share information from the book I co-authored with Dr. Susan Goodwyn, Baby Hearts.

If you’re like me, you’ve often bandied about the terms “shame” and “guilt” as though they were synonymous—two words for the same internal, not-very-pleasant feeling that occurs when we’ve done something of which others disapprove. However, researchers looking at the development of emotions in children feel it’s very important to distinguish between them shame and guilt, for parents to understand the differences, and for parent to steer clear of instilling shame whenever possible.

So, what are the differences? There are two that stand out:

First and most central, there’s a difference between shame and guilt in where the person feels the error or “deficiency” lies. In the case of shame, the entire “self” is perceived as bad. In the case of guilt, the specific action, rather than the “self” is perceived as bad. For example, a child who feels shame over having broken a precious knickknack might say to herself, “I’m a bad bad girl,” while a child feeling guilty might say instead “Oh dear, I should have been more careful!”
A second important difference is in the actions which tend to follow once the misdeed is discovered. In the case of shame, because the internal feeling of being bad is so distressing, the person’s inclination is to flee the scene—to escape—or even more problematic, to blame the victim. Our little girl, for example, might say to herself, or even aloud, “It’s Grandma’s fault for leaving it there!” In contrast, a person who feels guilty, rather than trying to flee, is motivated to try to make amends, to right whatever wrong was done, and to prove it was a one-time-only lapse in judgment. In this case, our little girl might say, “I’m so sorry, Grandma! Maybe I can make you something pretty to take its place.”

Why does it matter whether a child tends to feel shame or to feel guilt? Because research shows that feelings of shame are more likely to result in hostility, depression, and a lack of empathy for others.

Given that all kids misbehave at one time or another, how can you avoid instilling a sense of shame? Quite simply, watch what you say! Instead of saying things like “You’re a bad girl” or “I’m disappointed in you,” emphasize the consequences of the misdeed, why you disapprove of the child’s behavior, and what can be done to make amends. Remember, children who are told often that they are “bad” gradually find themselves living up to your expectations in what psychologists call a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Just some important information to help you make sure your child is on the path to healthy emotional development.

Happy Signing (and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook)!

Linda

Linda Acredolo, Ph.D.
Co-Founder, the Baby Signs® Program
and
Professor Emeritus, UC Davis